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Do I even need to worry about my nine week old's sleep?

(17 Posts)
Prusik Tue 20-Mar-18 08:35:09

DS2 is pretty much a velcro baby. His preference is sleeping on my chest or with my nipple in his mouth.

This is fine, I don't mind, but during the day I worry about his sleep quality.

He's constantly disturbed by me having to put him down to deal with ds1 so the only good quality sleeps he's getting is 2x 90 minutes when ds1 naps. This is my main worry and as we approach the 4 month mark, I'm aware things may get harder.

Like I said, I really don't mind and ds2 seems contented enough when held but screams almost constantly when put down. Sometimes when he's awake I can put him down and chill.

Just in case it's relevant he's my first ebf baby, there are some latch issues so he feeds a lot, he is only just 8lb (0.4th percentile) and he was born three weeks early i know they don't correct but he has only just started to smile so he is very much developmentally on his due date. Oh yes, and ds1 is 14 months

crazycatlady5 Tue 20-Mar-18 10:21:10

Gosh! It must be tough for you having a 9 week old and a 14 month old!! Props to you mama - no advice really other than have you tried a sling for the baby while you deal with the 14 mo?

Prusik Tue 20-Mar-18 11:34:19

A sling is good and works really well but ds2 is constantly feeding so the sling becomes cumbersome. And tbh I can hold him while playing. The sling just isn't great when changing ds1's nappy or dressing him, for example.

He's just drifting off while feeding now but ds1 is having lunch so in about fifteen minutes will need a nappy change and clean vest and tights then I'll have to pick up the food off the floor which i cant easily do with Ds 2 in the sling. so again his nap will be cut short.

He basically needs to be able to go down and stay asleep or to be able to fall asleep not on me. But I think he's too young

FATEdestiny Tue 20-Mar-18 11:38:18

Have you tried a bouncy chair?

Sit so that you are faced on with the bouncer, lots of eye contact. Or sit on the floor next to the bouncer. Put baby know awake after a feed (a dummy may help for comfort sucking) and then just be relentless about bouncing, shushing, calming him in there. Keep the rhythmic movement going.

Bananarama12 Tue 20-Mar-18 11:40:30

Have you tried a poddle pod for naps? You could lay an item of your clothing.over it so it smells like you.

Prusik Tue 20-Mar-18 12:06:43

Do you think it's worth bouncing what is effectively a six week old?

FATEdestiny Tue 20-Mar-18 12:40:01

God Yes!

Why do you think it wouldn't be?

Prusik Tue 20-Mar-18 12:56:10

I guess the whole fourth trimester thing. He just seems so tiny to 'leave' him in distress when I know I could just pick him up and he'd be ok.

I'm getting emotional. Been a hard day today

crazycatlady5 Tue 20-Mar-18 12:59:00

@Prusik it sounds like a hard month! I wouldn’t leave a six week old crying in a bouncer no, but if not distressed, definitely. Will he take a dummy? Mine never did and the bouncy chair used to wind her up confused she’s also a velcro baby.

Ubercornsdiscoball Tue 20-Mar-18 13:01:45

For the sake of your 14 month old you certainly need to explore other ideas otherwise it’s fair on any of you

SeeKnievelHitThe17thBus Tue 20-Mar-18 13:09:28

I used a baby swing for my velcro baby. It had music and lights above the seat and could swing side of side or front to back. I only had the one baby but when DH was away with work it meant I could have a hot meal without having to leave it to cool so I could eat with him on my chest.

If you try one, don't just use the swing as a way of getting him to sleep. Sit him in it at other times, when you're reading to DS1 for example, so they can both see the book or watch you playing together, so he associates it with something positive not just being placed in when mummy steps away.

FATEdestiny Tue 20-Mar-18 14:49:42

I guess the whole fourth trimester thing. He just seems so tiny to 'leave' him in distress

I wasn't suggesting you leave baby to cry in any way! The opposite in fact.

The rhythmic movement recreates womb like conditions, it's why babies like it. So it should calm him. Add in a dummy for comfort sucking and it's even better.

You definitely don't need to assume that for baby to not cry you must hold him. There are loads of other (independant) ways to recreate womb conditions in the fourth trimester. Attachment parenting us just one way. Not the only way.

Prusik Tue 20-Mar-18 16:29:42

@Ubercornsdiscoball my 14 month old certainly isn't missing out. I play, sing, read, help him load his fork to feed himself, cuddle him, tickle him, build Duplo, play cars. All one handed. I'm just beginning to feel frazzled and wanted to look at my options as there's not really much left for me.

I just spent 20 minutes rocking him in the bouncer while fending off ds1. Might have to give it a go during nap time as that WAS pretty restrictive.

I might persist with the dummy.

I just feel so lost. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow. It's just been a crummy couple of days. Ds1 has a cold sore so I need to be super careful around the baby and haven't seen my friends

Ubercornsdiscoball Tue 20-Mar-18 17:02:56

I never said he was missing out at all. I’m sure he isn’t. I meant it more in the fact to make things easier for you so that you don’t burn out. It can’t be much fun for you when you have to keep trying to do these thongs one handed. I’m all for trying to make life as easy as possible

FATEdestiny Tue 20-Mar-18 18:05:20

There's 14 months between my eldest two. It was precisely because of the fact I had two babies (one older baby, one tiny) that the bouncer was so useful.

- no going to another room for baby's naps
- sitting on sofa and foot bouncing the bouncer left me hands free fully for older one.
- sitting on floor and bouncing one handed meant I was down on a level with eldest.
- youngest quickly learnt to sleep through the noise of eldest playing, ergo sleep through most disturbances
- young toddler age is a great time to establish boundaries, if you need to. For example spaces that are only for baby.

A completely different option, if you want an alternate, is to swaddle and use a moses basket downstairs. I did that for the first 6 weeks or so, through the very tiny newborn stage. Then moved daytime naps to bouncer.

Definitely persist with the dummy, it is definitely worth it for not having to deal with baby crying.

Prusik Wed 21-Mar-18 03:37:18

@Ubercornsdiscoball sorry, I might have misunderstood. Just fed up and tired.

Going to do some thinking about how to tackle

Prusik Wed 21-Mar-18 07:57:38

Currently got him on a blanket while feeding him. Hopefully he'll warm it up so I can transfer him to lie on the blanket in tge bouncy chair. I think i have a chair in the loft that rocks itself. In the meantime give the bouncy chair A go today. Thankyou

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