LO totally hysterical for all naps and bedtime

[Shebsibells]

Hi there,

This is my first post on mumsnet. I felt I had to post to see if anyone had advice or similar experiences to me as I’m really very troubled by what my LO is going through at the moment. He’s just shy of six months by a week.

My LO has never slept very well. He’s never slept through the night and has always woken frequently, sometimes for feeding, sometimes for his dummy, sometimes for comfort or other reasons we haven’t been able to identify. He had terrible colic and reflux in the early days so he got used to being rocked and held to sleep. I’ve never fed to sleep and In fact he’s never been a baby who can be comforted by breast feeding and he’s starting to self wean from the breast at the moment as he refuses feeds. When he hit three months and the colic had faded I gently weaned him off being rocked and held to sleep for bedtime and naps. It’s took many weeks but I did it so gently so iexpected that. Up until last week my LO was going down fine although there would always be some crying and fussing it didn’t seem too traumatic for him and his cries were mainly protests. Being put down awake didn’t make any difference to his night waking :(

Anyway at some point last week things changed and he suddenly became inconsolable at bedtime and naps, I’m talking high pitched Distressed screams!! He cries the minute he goes in his sleeping bag or is put into his cot. The cries are so distressed that of course I have tried to pick him up and soothe him in any way I can. The problem is that picking him up, rocking, feeding, cuddling, holding make him cry even louder and harder!! I have no choice but to leave him to cry for a couple of minutes before going back to shush him and soothe him in his cot. He does settle for a moment before breaking into screams again. I repeat the process of leaving him to cry for a few minutes before going back and shushing/stroking his forehead again. If I continually shush and stroke it does nothing to soothe him so I have to give him a minute or two to cry before soothing. Once he finally falls asleep he then wakes a few times in the evening crying again and then 2-3 times In the night crying which course is very stressful at 3am and 5am. He may take one feed overnight but I think that must fill him up as he’s not interested when I offer again. Sometimes I regret picking him up to try and feed in the night as he rejects the breast and will cry even harder. We have the same battle at nap time and most naps I’ll spend 20 minutes getting him down for him to wake up 10 minutes later. I watch his sleep signs very carefully so he doesn’t get overtired but then as he only naps for 10-20 minutes, as a result he’s overtired all day and at bedtime. It seems to be a vicious circle. Some
Days I resort to taking him out in the pram four times a day to avoid the stress of putting him down and to allow him to just get the sleep he needs. He still wakes up after 20-30 minutes even when I continually rock in the pram.

I’m so worried that my LO will come to harm screaming for as long and as hard as he does. I’ve read that leaving a baby to cry under six months is harmful but I don’t know what else I can do.? Even on good napping days (which is rare) he still screams inconsolabley at night and for naps. I find myself becoming so obsessed with his nap times that I cry with frustration when he wakes up after 20 mins. He also has a good night and nap time routine and I never keep him awake more than 2 hours. He started solids last week and that’s going well.

Does anyone know why my baby is so distressed now when he’s been put down awake for so many months?? I’m totally emotional and exhausted all the time as I just feel so helpless :( could it be separation anxiety?? I’m totally lost

[W0rriedMum]

I had exactly the same with my refluxy baby too. It was torture and I couldn't go back to work until I had it sorted (9-10 months when she started latching onto a cuddly comforter. I also walked myself thin as I couldn't face nap time. You don't mention this but she also woke up in an unpleasant whining daze if she napped at home.

She is a preteen now and still not a great sleeper as she has nightmares.

My view is that either the reflux affected her lying down or she was starting to get nightmares. Both total guesswork..

However it's worth looking to the future. It will pass, I promise. My DD is fantastic - sociable, fun, bright..

ALL THIS WILL PASS

[W0rriedMum]

Sorry I don't have any answers by the way!! Basically time sorted it out..

[crazycatlady5]

Teething? Hungry? There’s a big growth spurt at 6 months.

[Shebsibells]

Thanks for your message w0rried Mum. It’s good to know that I’m not alone and that time resolved the problem. He too wakes grumpy and crying from naps at home although not from every single one. I did wonder whether he was having a bad dream by the sudden scream that he lets out in the night but then he screams at the initial put down too. Hmmmm it’s a mystery. Really unsure why this is just happening now.

Crazycatlady5 - it can’t bw hunger as I feed him not long before bed and when I try and feed him when he wakes in the night he gets very upset. I used to presume that it was hunger so would feed at every middle of the night scream even if it was 1-2 hours apart. He would accept the feed the first time but then pull away if I tried to feed him again a few hours later. I also wondered about teething but he is so happy during hos awake time and only cries when he knows he’s beinb put to bed so I guess it can’t be that. Maybe he’s just got older and is more aware of his surroundings and doesn’t want to go to bed anymore. He screamed so hard tonight that I felt sick with worry

[crazycatlady5]

is it possible his reflux is worse? Maybe a trip to the Gp