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7 week old wont self settle for this normal at this age?

(14 Posts)
crispaddict76 Wed 14-Feb-18 17:18:53

Hi. Looking for some advice and reassurance really!

My DS is 8 weeks old tomorrow. I’m finding and have found his naps are not great. First of all he won’t settle himself so has to sleep on me or OH before being put down to nap. Sometimes he will then stay napping in his Moses basket. Other times he wakes up after 10 minutes and won’t go back to sleep. Today for example he napped fine in Ergo carrier on me but has started to nap twice and woken up after 10 mins when I put him down.

He is sleeping 3-4 hour stretches between feeds at night sometimes more and is doing this in a sleepyhead next to me and does stay down it’s just the day time and getting him off to sleep. Is it normal that he won’t self settle at this age?. There is no way I want to leave him to cry as has been suggested by family who use the ‘rod for own back’ comments.

Is there anything more that I can do to help him to start settling himself? I guess I’m just worried as although I love cuddles I’m scared I will be spending my days and evenings confined to the sofa to get him to sleep for years to come as some family say I will!! He does settle awake in his bouncer but fights sleeping in it even though he is really tired at times!!

I have been reading up on fourth trimester etc but I guess other people’s comments make me doubt myself and so I would welcome some advice from mums with experience on here!

crazycatlady5 Wed 14-Feb-18 18:49:37

Very normal, self settling is developmental - some babies do it from day dot, some don’t do it until well over a year old/closer to two


Unevenbeard Wed 14-Feb-18 18:53:59

If it makes you feel any better my ds doesn't self-settle and he's 2 grin

Bananarama12 Wed 14-Feb-18 18:58:03

My DS is 14 weeks and sleeps well in his sleepyhead at night but for daytime naps sleeps on me. Just enjoy, as it won't last forever despite what people say. I just look down at his chubby little face and think there's nothing else I would rather be doing grin

Marcine Wed 14-Feb-18 19:03:03

More normal for them not to self settle at this age. I have one child who fell asleep on his own anywhere from birth, one who sometimes needed a lot of help and occasionally settled by herself, and one who I had to teach to self settle at about 9 months.

FortheloveofJames Wed 14-Feb-18 19:06:13

I’d be ignoring all those comments, they shouldn’t be used when talking about such a young baby, and there’s no way they should be left to cry- at this age they have needs, not wants. He’s tiny and being close to you and your partner is his way of feeling secure, your definitely not creating a rod- your giving your baby the comfort he needs right now. It is beyond normal for a newborn to need extra help to nap during the day. The pressure to sleep is less during the day than it is at night and many babies are happy to go down for longer stretches at night. Just do what works to make him sleep now and things will change before you know it! I hate to break it to you though, you may find yourself on the sofa for naps for quite a while. But honestly, I miss those days. It was a great excuse to rest with Netflix and snacks, and soak up the baby cuddles. He will be running around and not wanting to cuddle before you know it!

Do what works for you and don’t worry about self settling. As PP said it’s a development thing- some babies do it early on and others take longer.

Congrats on your little one flowers

crazycatlady5 Wed 14-Feb-18 19:16:58

Also mine is now a year old and the newborn days feel forever ago! She doesn’t self settle but she rolls over after cuddles and goes to sleep, and stays asleep until around 2am. She’s not sleeping through, and still needs me to get to sleep but they’re only little for such a short time smile

monkeyted Sat 17-Feb-18 16:21:17

Yes normal! My DD is 9 months now but naps until she was 5 months were a disaster - had to be fed to sleep in my arms and if I moved a inch towards putting her down she'd be awake instantly, or if I was ever able to lay her down, 10 minutes later or at the drop of a pin she was wide awake. Around 5 months she starting thumb sucking and since then got steadily better at napping. Now takes two long naps a day. Would never have believed anyone who told me she'd turn into a good napper back then! Also I've learnt along the way that the first few months were too early to worry about creating bad habits as things are changing so much all the time.

Youaremysunshine2017 Sat 17-Feb-18 16:31:06

I type this with a 7 month old asleep on me who I have had to rock and shhh to sleep. He wakes up when I put him down (we go through phases with this) just recently there have been a couple of times where he's self settled at night. Whilst I'm pleased hes learning to do This, I'm sad because I adore cuddling him, watching his eyes roll, his body relax and his cheeks puff out once he's asleep. Tell em to shove the rod for your own back comments.

arbrighton Sat 17-Feb-18 18:58:35

7 weeks??????????? No, of course it's bloody normal for them not to self settle or in fact to be put down at all

Please google 4th trimester

Then perhaps read the Gentle Sleep book in order to adjust your expectations on what is 'normal'

sizeofalentil Sat 17-Feb-18 19:09:52

I’m so glad I found this thread - my hv at our 6 week check up used the term ‘rod for your own back’ to describe this exact same ‘problem’ we are having. She said the baby was being spoiled and got annoyed when I laughed and said it was impossible to spoil a tiny baby and she could nap wherever she wanted, for now at least.

Before this, I had no doubts or worries about having to feed and snuggle baby to sleep. And being used as a comfy bed, while her £200 cot remains unused 😂

arbrighton Sat 17-Feb-18 19:12:34

I'm still being used as a comfy bed for long naps and for part of each night. He's 8 months this week.

Do i care? No

Will I stop? NO

user1498549192 Sat 17-Feb-18 19:12:55

My 6 month old still sleeps on me for every nap (unless we're our, then he'll sleep in the car or pram). There's no such thing as creating a road for your own back with an 8 week old; enjoy the cuddles!

MagicFajita Sat 17-Feb-18 19:15:59

Totally normal. He's still very little.

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