4 year old up with nightmares

[elsalake]

My 4 year old goes to bed fine, has pretty fairy lights/night lights and her favourite soft toys, but within a couple of hours wakes up screaming, a proper wail. When asked what's wrong she says she's scared, not always the same thing. Usually she says it's a scary man. But sometimes it's bats or wolves..she doesn't see these things in any programs or anything I can think of. I'm at a wits end, she's up til 2/3 some nights. Any help? Thanks!

[elsalake]

Bump

[AccioWine]

Bump from me. Our just turned 5 year old does the same. We are trying rousing her about an hour after bed as this is meant to disrupt the sleep cycle. It works most times, but not every time. Might that be worth a try? It’s upsetting watching them so distressed, isn’t it?

[elsalake]

Ah I might give that ago, never heard of it thank you! It's so upsetting, I feel totally helpless. I try telling her there's nothing there, that these things aren't real because I don't want to validate these things she thinks she sees!

[AccioWine]

I know what you mean about validating the fear. I would be interested if anyone has anything else to suggest. I’m sorry, I seem to be a bit of a thread killer?!

[elsalake]

Haha no it's fine. Just thankful for your response. Last night we left fairy lights on all night (just battery operated ones) as opposed to turning them off when we go to bed and she didn't wake up screaming 🤞🏼🤞🏼

[Rorymum]

Hi, my daughter is 4 and we have monsters, the bad man, shadows and me getting hurt. I read that this is an important milestone where they're learning about safety as they become more independent. It said just to not freak out, normalised everything and don't tell them it's not real because emotionally speaking it feels very real to them. Apparently just let them get it out if their system and try not to turn it into an issue. Just sit with them until they're calm and explain that it was a dream, dreams can't hurt them (or you or anyone else) and remind them that you are there for them always. I have to say my daughter is doing a bit better with it now and I wonder if it's something that's naturally working itself out.

[Rorymum]

Sorry about my typos!

[AccioWine]

Well, it’s encouraging rory that they do come out the other side!
I’m glad, elsa, that you’ve found something that seems to be working. Fingers crossed for you. Fairy lights fix everything!

[elsalake]

That makes sense, I just didn't want to confirm to her that they were real I guess! So hard to know what's right.
And yes, they worked once! Not always. Sadly. Let's hope it is something they work out in their own time!