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I went to a baby group today...

(86 Posts)
GMtoBe Mon 12-Feb-18 15:57:26

And I was the only person there who had a baby who is difficult to get to sleep for a nap and who is up 5-7 times a night. She's ebf and is 16 weeks old. Please tell me I'm not the only one!

icantdothis2017 Mon 12-Feb-18 16:42:01

Your absolutely not the only one .
Mine is two now but at that age was very similar and she was bottle fed .
It will get better

Jellybabie3 Mon 12-Feb-18 16:46:52

Yup in exactly the same boat. Hourly wake ups since xmas with my 18week old....alot of the posts on here atm are me 🙈

Chottie Mon 12-Feb-18 16:51:03

I was in the same boat over 30 years ago and I can remember having exactly the same conversation at a baby group too.

Ignore, ignore, ignore - you are not alone flowers

BentleyBelly Mon 12-Feb-18 16:52:19

Ha what a bunch of liars! So they just put their babies down in their beds awake and they fall asleep?! My 16 week ds will only feed to sleep bar the first nap of the day when white noise randomly works and last night he woke 5 times. He hates the car, the pram and the sling has stopped working now too. He is completely normal and is following the same path as his sister who eventually slept through at 9 months and learnt to self settle around 6 months. I'm not worried in the slightest just a bit fed up with the broken sleep!

Knitjob Mon 12-Feb-18 16:52:33

They are lying. Or very lucky. But probably lying.

(Or at least exaggerating)

BluebellTheDonkey Mon 12-Feb-18 16:54:33

This was me 13 years ago. I wish I had been on MN then! Thought I was the worst parent in the world. You are not alone! He's now a great big teenager who sleeps like a log, they all get there eventually!

LadyLooLaa Mon 12-Feb-18 16:54:47

I was you! My sleep-phobic is 5. Sleeps beautifully (although gets up at 6am).
I used to fear he’d be sleeping nose to boob and waking 5 times a night until he was 30 (what a thought!).

ClemDanfango Mon 12-Feb-18 17:04:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GMtoBe Mon 12-Feb-18 17:36:14

Thank you all so much! I'm actually in tears now with relief. I felt so inadequate when I got home but it's good to know I'm not alone.

KatnissK Mon 12-Feb-18 17:47:18

Lol mine is 8 months and has not once slept through ever. Best I ever got was 7 hours and that was once when he was 11 weeks old (and we were at a wedding so I couldn't even sleep too!) and has never been repeated. He wakes on average every 2 -3 hours. I reckon a lot of people lie about how well their babies sleep!

Beingmethistime Mon 12-Feb-18 17:50:51

I remember being in your shoes.

My DC1 didn't sleep through until about 9 months and we could never put her down for regular daytime naps (and yes, we did try everything the parenting books etc suggest).

I remember one baby group where just about everyone else put their babies (wide awake) in their prams at a set time for a pre-lunch nap (it was rather eirie, they all seemed to do it in unison, following the contented little baby book timings I suspect). Within 5 mins they were all drinking coffee and chatting whist all their babies slept. The remaining two of us with non-sleeping babies exchanged supportive looks but I left feeling like the world's crapest parent destined to child who would either be held back through lack of routine.

Actually, by the age of 2 she was awake all day and asleep all night and she's very well adjusted. I also struck a lasting friendship with the parent of the other non-sleeper. It will get better.

FayJay Mon 12-Feb-18 17:54:00

They’re either freakishly lucky or lying.

It is possible to have a brilliantly sleeping baby. DD1 was one. At the time I was a smug twat and congratulated myself on my stellar parenting. Then I had DD2. Hahaha! Let’s just say I quickly stopped being smug OP.

icclemunchy Mon 12-Feb-18 17:56:32

This is why I love going to my local la leche group. Lots of lovely supportive mums who when you say mine has been up all night, instead of telling you what you did wrong or how to fix it or that theirs slept through from day dot. Say "I know it's shit isn't it, want a biscuit?"

Pick your groups wisely 😉

GummyGoddess Mon 12-Feb-18 18:02:24

Some are telling the truth, most are liars. My dc slept through from 5 weeks to about 4 months, then started waking every 45 minutes for months on end!

Countingsheeeep Mon 12-Feb-18 18:05:25

My dd was sooooooo hard to get to nap, it literally felt like a full time job... utterly exhausting.

She's better now at age 1, and also better at night.

Praying that ds due in a few weeks is a better napper!

KalaLaka Mon 12-Feb-18 18:07:47

It's just that lots of parents in the same boat are at home desperately trying to nap!

gandalfspants Mon 12-Feb-18 18:09:54


I was going to say we're doing a bit better with naps lately and between 2 and 4 wake ups at night.

DD is 18 MONTHS though 😂

XmasInTintagel Mon 12-Feb-18 18:11:24

Maybe the mums with babies that don't sleep were too knackered to get to the group :-)?

ElenaBothari Mon 12-Feb-18 18:14:45

They are lying or lucky.

Very very few babies are napping and sleeping well at that age!

Discusting Mon 12-Feb-18 18:15:54

Totally not the only one. DS didn’t sleep through till he was 13 Months and even now at 15 Months doesn’t do it consistently.

BuffalotheGruffalo Mon 12-Feb-18 18:26:21

I hated baby groups for this reason. I doubt you were the only one, you were just the honest one.

thenewaveragebear1983 Mon 12-Feb-18 18:34:37

Yep, my Ds is 2 and still wakes up every night. I visited a friend with her 5 week old baby and when she told me hers was sleeping through at 5 freakin weeks I almost cried. I could actually feel the sides of my mouth twinging like I was going to cry....

People who brag at baby groups are my least favourite people. There’s no need for it, it’s probably largely bullshit. My sisters baby ‘sleeps through’ except she doesn’t go to bed til 11 and wakes at 5, then sleeps from 6-9. Just try coping with that when you return to work.....

And wait til the weaning starts- everyone rattling on about what their babies have eaten. I had one friend tell me her children were entirely sugar free and one of them was eating malt loaf at the time.

Just nod and smile, OP

GMtoBe Mon 12-Feb-18 18:41:03

I love all of these wonderfully honest replies. Dd is currently resisting the same nap that she's been resisting for 3 hours. Not looking forward to tonight!

Mrsharper88 Mon 12-Feb-18 18:50:54

This takes me back to when DS was newborn, he was just the same as your LO. I’d often come home in tears after baby groups as everyone gushed about how well their little ones slept and didn’t cry.

What I’ve learned is that sometimes when you really talk to (or interrogate) parents who say their baby sleeps through the night they are often exaggerating for example only counting when the baby wakes to be fed and not counting the numerous times their LO has woken for a cuddle. Or think that sleeping from 12am-4am is sleeping through the night.

I don’t know why so many mums aren’t more honest- but you’re not alone, I promise. It will get easier x

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