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Fed up of this

(7 Posts)
lizzlebizzle33 Sat 10-Feb-18 16:26:24

Please help I think I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown.
Ds1(20months) won't nap anymore in the day, he becomes so cranky and naughty after lunch but I just can't get him to sleep unless we go out in the pram, which isn't always possible.

Then there is ds2 ( 3mo) catnaps all day, he falls asleep on me and if I try to put him down he's awake within minutes usually because ds1 has woken him up.

HV told me to leave ds1 downstairs alone while I go and try and settle ds2 upstairs.
As much as I am uncomfortable with leaving him alone downstairs and also not happy with leaving a 3 month old alone upstairs, I gave it a try.

Ds1 started screaming as soon as I left the room which upset ds2, finally settled him upstairs only for him to wake up 5 mins later, as soon as I made a cup of tea!

I've tried and tried but it's the same every time.

I am at my wits end, dealing with2 over tired children under 2 all day, running on less than 4 hours broken sleep a night and doing all the cooking, cleaning and shopping.

I never get any time to myself, DP uses the fact I'm EBF ds2 as an excuse not to get up with him in the night so it's all down to me.

DP only works part time and the rest of the time is lazy, messy and grumpy and I'm just sick of everything!

The only thing keeping me going are my babies smiles and laughs, that's all that's making it worth while right now.

I don't know what to do, I'm fed up of crying everyday.

Mrstumbletap Sun 11-Feb-18 11:07:50

Hi OP, there is no magic wand with this situation, you have two very young children. But I will offer advice in case it helps as you sound desperate for ideas.

This is what I would do and I’m not a sleep specialist, but I was pretty strict with routines and feeding schedules. My priority would be getting the younger child into a proper routine. 3 months old is so little he needs 2-3 naps a day.

Would formula be easier? Then you can see how much DS2 is having (I didn’t breastfeed long so have no experience with this) but I knew when DS had had 6/7oz and couldn’t drink anymore then I knew he was full.

What time do they wake up?

I think putting the younger one upstairs with a monitor so he gets peace and quiet is a very good idea, do you have blackout blinds? I swear by them for encouraging good sleep.

NameChange30 Sun 11-Feb-18 11:11:03

You have a DP problem that’s bigger than the sleep problem.

If he works part time that means he has plenty of time to do his share of childcare and housework.

Does the baby need a feed at every night waking? If not he could settle the baby couldn’t he?

Min88 Mon 12-Feb-18 09:15:10

Hello. Right need some advice from other mummies who have pretty much held, worn or bed shared with baby since birth! This was led by my DD as she wanted frequent breastfeeds and has an aversion to falling asleep in car and buggy!

However now I'm feeling that at 4 months it would be a good idea to give her the opportunity to sleep not in my arms and try and get her sleeping more independently....any tried and tested methods with this? She is in a nap and bedtime routine atm and I can feed her to sleep and move away, however she will only
Stay asleep for 40 mins max. She also seems to sense being put down, even when in deep sleep! I am bed sharing with her in her room now so she is used to it however want to transition to cot (fixed sides!).

Thank you in advance!

smile

Min88 Mon 12-Feb-18 09:15:52

Sorry didn't mean to post on your threadblush

WTFIsThisVirus Mon 12-Feb-18 09:20:32

@Min88 you should start your own thread

@lizzlebizzle33 I agree with NameChange your finding this difficult because you don't have the right support. Your DP should be helping you get both kids into a routine, and he should be assisting with nights.

WTFIsThisVirus Mon 12-Feb-18 09:21:22

Sorry, took so long to post, we X posted @Min88

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