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Help me find the holy grail - a baby that sleeps through! 4 month sleep regression

(12 Posts)
Bobbiepin Tue 06-Feb-18 06:13:44

Up until now DD (15 weeks) has had me lulled into what I now realise was a false sense of security - aside from those blurry eyed newborn nights she's been a fairly decent sleeper and we've developed a routine that works for us as a family. DH gets home from work late so we do quiet time at 10, her one and only bottle of the day at 10.30 and put her down awake after that, with a dummy. Generally after 10 mins and the occasional dummy re-insert she is sparko and good until 6/7ish for a quick bf then back down for a couple more hours.

I've turned into a little lady of leisure in the mornings and love my baby version of a lie in (i.e. I can have a cuppa hot and breakfast in bed while she is still asleep in the moses basket). I know, she has spoiled me so far, I appreciate how great its been until now... when the ugly sleep regression dragon has reared its ugly head (obviously intent on returning those dreary eye bags).

Anyway, I had naively thought that if DD was able to settle herself the 4 month regression wouldn't hit as hard but now she's taking to waking every couple of hours (yawn) mostly having a bit of a feed and then going back down. I usually try the dummy two or three times with mixed success - it maybe works once a night, the rest of the time is some misguided thread of optimism I'm clinging on to. Granted she's not crying or distressed but I'm obviously looking back on those sleep filled nights with longing akin to a toddler and sweets in a supermarket.

Anyway, how do we move forward? Is the sleep regression something I have to persevere with and she'll eventually grow out of or do I need to bite the bullet and start some sort of sleep training/enforce a routine of napping during the day etc? Will I ever sleep properly again?

PasstheStarmix Tue 06-Feb-18 07:35:37

Persevere, 4 months is still so tiny. It took DS until 6.5 months before his sleep improved and he never slept previously at all so saying I was tired was an understatement! Now ds is 11 months old he still wakes up from time to time but is so much better. He’s on 1-2 naps a day and will either have two 1.5 hour naps or one 3 hour one! I cherish my time to myself while he’s sleeping upstairs in his cot! No two nights are the same at the moment and he can wake up and want to be in mine and dh’s bed for comfort but it’s no where near like it was and some night he’ll sleep through if i’m lucky!
My advice is sleep when your baby sleeps, go easy on yourself when you’re tired and lots of cake! flowers

PasstheStarmix Tue 06-Feb-18 07:37:37

Also I have never sleep trained and just let ds guide me and things just happened naturally. They will for you too. The first year is full of developmental leaps/growth spurts (the wonder weeks) and constant changes but they all pass I promise!

Lemondrop99 Tue 06-Feb-18 15:27:23

Don't panic!! I'm right in the midst of this myself with my 17 week old DS and it's bloody awful!! But don't be too quick to sleep train or think that you have to address it otherwise sleep will be destroyed forever. It's a perfectly normal development stage and they're learning to sleep in a new way, so be patient. If baby could self soothe before, try and encourage that but realise that some times, they'll just need a hand. My DS keeps swaying from a couple of awful days in a row, to a day when all naps and night sleeps go perfectly - so I know he can do it.

There are loads of extra things at play. Mines really working on rolling, so busy brain syndrome makes it hard for them to switch off. Mine fed relentlessly through the night for a week solid and I was so scared I was creating a new feed to sleep association. I was trying to not feed him every time he woke, but he just screamed until I did and we were both so stressed. Then one day it suddenly calmed and I realised he was filling up the toes of his baby grows. He had obviously had a growth spurt, and I'd been so busy panicking about his sleep regression that I didn't listen to him when he needed more food. I felt awful.

So I think all you can really do for now is plough on, support them, try and encourage independent sleep where possible but don't get into a battle about it and realise they are tiny and still need help with all these huge changes going on. I've also found it's not consistent, one step forward, one step back, repeat! You will come out the other side.

If you get to 6 months (a more appropriate age for sleeping training if you choose to) and you have reason to believe sleep associations are the issue rather than development, then maybe look into sleep training if you want to.

For what it's worth, I found my DS was waking for him dummy and it became more of a hinderance than a help. We ditched it cold turkey and it's turned out to have been a very good move.

Good luck, you have my sympathy!

Jellybabie3 Tue 06-Feb-18 15:31:09

@Lemondrop99 great advice thanks from someone in the same boat smile

Bobbiepin Tue 06-Feb-18 17:36:11

@lemondrop99 That's really great advice, thank you. DD has been putting some work into rolling today so maybe its a developmental leap, hopefully with some growing too, she's only 9th centile so could do with some meat on her bones.

I think the sleep deprivation is makibg me question everything. Mostly I've been worried that her going longer between feeds during the day is making her hungrier at night. I've been trying to gently coax her towards a routine rather than feeding any time she winges and she's dropped some feeds that way. Maybe she could do with a bit more milk for a couple of days.

Jellybabie3 Tue 06-Feb-18 17:40:16

@Bobbiepin
I think the sleep deprivation is makibg me question everything

Exactly where i am at. A bad bad night and i hit google which just makes me feel like i did something wrong sad. I just want to enjoy DS now. He wont be this little for long. And he wont want cuddles forever.

Bobbiepin Tue 06-Feb-18 18:05:22

It's just so difficult going back to so little sleep after having really good sleep for so long. I do wonder how much things are related even though I know they probably aren't. How old is your LO?

Lemondrop99 Tue 06-Feb-18 19:25:15

Oh I know! I'm a terrible Googler but trying to do it less. I really do think development is a big part of it. We had a few good nights, then 3 awful nights. Then today DS is happy as Larry and suddenly rolling successfully in both directions!

Also read this smile

www.scarymommy.com/10-reasons-baby-awake-2am-according-dr-google/#sthash.slY9qgUz.gbpl

Bobbiepin Tue 06-Feb-18 19:30:54

That is priceless and spot on. I think I'll resign myself to 'the baby is awake and will be until she falls asleep'. I just wish I could nap during the day like I did when she was newborn.

ClaraLaraLaLa Sun 11-Feb-18 21:50:14

She's probsbly having a growth spurt and is genuinely hungry, if that's the case I don't think there is much you can do other than ride it out for a bit. mine was the same but after I thought the sleep regression had ended it was relatively easy to reduce the number of night feeds.

Bobbiepin Mon 12-Feb-18 11:15:32

There's definitely some growing going on, I've had to retire a set of baby grows and she's growing out of her vests. Unfortuantely because her legs are so long (and her feet are so big) many baby grows don't fit and the next size up hangs off her tiny skinny body.

She slept from 11-5.30 last night. My boobs were solid this morning and i was even dreaming about expressing. Poor thing couldnt latch on properly!

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