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Will ds learn to sleep longer by himself? 45min cycles at 16wks

(140 Posts)
Jellybabie3 Thu 01-Feb-18 07:42:55

I appreciate this is the regression. Its been getting worse since Christmas day. He now wakes every 45 min to an hour, i lift him out of his side cot. He has a 5min nibble on my boob, back to bed and repeat.

Will he learn to sleep longer himself or do i need to something??? Baffled

PlanetMJ Thu 01-Feb-18 07:57:00

It's so awful when the regression hits!
You can absolutely ride it out and it does pass. Feeding to sleep is a great tool for getting them back to sleep quickly and if you're happy to do it, it could be that he grows into a better sleeper.
However, something I wish we had done at 16 weeks with now 7.5 month ds who is still an awful sleeper, is to really start applying the no cry sleep solution pantley pull off to break the feed to sleep association.
It apparently takes consistency and time when all you want is to go back to sleep ASAP, but much easier at 16 weeks than when feeding to sleep is more established.
I also wish I had persevered with getting him to take a dummy. But both of these things are very much personal preference, not for everyone.

Jellybabie3 Thu 01-Feb-18 09:23:30

Ok thanks. I guess i just needed to hear that i don't NEED to do something. I was hoping to sleep train when he goes into his room in 8 weeks 😥

Jellybabie3 Thu 01-Feb-18 09:23:51

Its so bleeding tricky!!

usernameunavailable Thu 01-Feb-18 09:31:09

My DD is 4 months in a few days. The past week or 2 she has been up 5/6 times! All for a feed, if I just give her the dummy she will take it but then scream again 15/30 mins later as she wants feeding. She used to go to bed at 8pm, wake between 1/2 for first bottle then 4/5 for second. Then she would wake up about 7/8 for the day. Now she goes to bed between 7/8 she seems more tired on a evening now. She been waking up anywhere between 10pm/12am then will wake again numerous times until 7/8 the next morning. Do you think she's in regression? Can I do anything about it? So tired sad

Jellybabie3 Thu 01-Feb-18 11:08:36

@usernameunavailable not sure. Sounds like a growth spurt. I've been riding it out for 5 weeks. According to wonder weeks he should calm down in 5 days hmm i doubt it to be honest.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore Thu 01-Feb-18 11:54:22

We didn't do anything... it improved VERY slowly and he was sleeping through the night by, ahem, 15 months. But we genuinely didn't do anything that the books tell you to do...

Jellybabie3 Thu 01-Feb-18 12:27:52

@LorelaiVictoriaGilmore were you bfeeding? So no pull off methods??

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore Thu 01-Feb-18 15:18:00

Yep. Breastfed to two years. You've jogged my memory... I made a PATHETIC attempt at pull off methods - maybe tried it for a week or so - but no signs of success.

Jellybabie3 Thu 01-Feb-18 16:06:12

Huh ok. I guess i just power through then 😕

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore Thu 01-Feb-18 16:10:30

Well, I powered through (sort of) because I was too tired to properly try any solutions and I didn't have the support I would really have needed either. And even though I did everything wrong, ds still started to go through the night eventually. I'm not necessarily recommending my approach!! smile

Jellybabie3 Thu 01-Feb-18 16:18:00

Thats the issue for me too though. I have the best intentions but getting up every hour means i don't have the stamina to keep trying. Ah well, try again tonight!!

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore Thu 01-Feb-18 17:04:41

It's a vicious circle! Good luck for tonight! smile

wapsmahoney Thu 01-Feb-18 18:06:37

I completely feel your pain! My DD is 18 weeks and again since Christmas sleep has been getting worse and worse. She now hardly naps in the day and is constantly wired... it’s breaking my heart!
She is up every 45 mins for 4 hours after bedtime then sleeps till 2ish then we are up every hour ... I think I’m breaking!

Jellybabie3 Thu 01-Feb-18 19:43:59

@wapsmahoney its horrid isnt it. Wierd because none of my nct friends have experienced it and there are 8 of us!!

Lemondrop99 Thu 01-Feb-18 22:35:55

Jelly, my DS started catnapping at 8 weeks old. It was hellish for 7-8 weeks, but the he randomly seems to have cracked it. I'm 99% nothing I did made an difference and he just grew out of it by himself.

Only things which might have had some effect was leaving him in his cot long enough to see if he would resettle instead of rushing in after 5 mins (obviously not leaving him crying), and also ditching the dummy as he was waking for it.

Deep breathe. This too shall pass

biscuitmillionaire Thu 01-Feb-18 22:45:22

Waking every 45 minutes is classic human sleep cycle for babies. Read the Baby Whisperer! You don't have to just put up with it. You can gently start to teach him to resettle himself without intervention from you. Look up the pick-up put-down technique. You have to apply it consistently, not half-heartedly. It does not involve leaving your baby alone to cry. It worked dramatically well for me.

Jellybabie3 Fri 02-Feb-18 04:51:22

Worst night yet. So conflicted whether to push through or sleep train. He can't self settle at all. But i don't want him in his own room yet. I cant see slerp training working while he is in with us

Jellybabie3 Fri 02-Feb-18 04:59:10

Hes awake now and literally gulping on the boob this time. Poor little mite. Brutal growth spurt

Placebogirl Fri 02-Feb-18 05:00:25

Most experts don't recommend sleep training during the 4 month sleep regression anyway. I just went with it. It's so hard, when they are little and like this (is he your first, or your first non-sleeper?) to see that they will sleep eventually. I promise you, he will sleep eventually. Also, before you try sleep training, it's wise to rule out all medical causes of poor sleep (notably reflux).

Jellybabie3 Fri 02-Feb-18 05:47:21

Ok. I will keep going.

How do you know when its ended? Or just turned into bad habits??

Jellybabie3 Fri 02-Feb-18 05:51:00

Do i keep offering the boob ??

PlanetMJ Fri 02-Feb-18 07:18:53

He is very little for sleep training, and I think he will improve himself given a wee bit more time if you just stay with it but gawd I know that feeling when you just can't take any more!
I agree that the four month regression is probably not a great time to train, especially if you feel so exhausted emotionally and physically.
Could you look at some of the gentler methods perhaps?
Ultimately, you need to do what gets you through, co-sleep etc, anything. I hope it gets better soon. Thinking of you in the wee small hours!

FortheloveofJames Fri 02-Feb-18 08:02:23

He’s far to Little for sleep training. At that age he doesn’t have the capacity to understand it. At that age your not making bad habits as baby sleep changes so much in th first years, it isn’t linear. It does sound like the 4 month regression, which is the absolute pits when your baby doesn’t sleep well anyway.

Honestly, I know it is beyond hard. My DS was exactly the same. To the point I thought it would break me. Would only want the boob to settle when he woke through the night- which could be 8 times on a normal night or more. Sending DP over just resulted in screaming like he was being tortured. I was so low. Low enough that honestly it makes me question whether I would actually BF again for my own mental health as I know being able to have a break would have made it easier.

However (please don’t think I’m bragging about this just wanted to give you hope) I rode it out and honestly things got better. And it was VERY sudden. One night he only woke twice, then the second and third night he did The same. I then decided it was time for his own room as I could handle getting it of bed twice and he only woke once. Now he regularly does 10 hour stretches, then feeds and sleeps till 7/7.30. He’s been slept through about 4 times 🙈. He was just under 6 months when this started. I just wanted to give you hope that things can get better without drastic measures!

It goes without saying you are doing the best job! It won’t be like his forever! Look after yourself flowers

Jellybabie3 Fri 02-Feb-18 08:43:59

Thank you. I think I have to give up sleep training and just concentrate on survival. I am pulling him off the boob before he's fully asleep which is something I guess, but still waiting to transfer him.

I'm getting up now, but hes woken every 45min to 1 hr since 10pm. I dont think I can be expected to do much more than lift him out of his side cot onto the boob and back again. I will try to resist cosleeping but only because I like to stretch out!! I have fallen asleep so many times with him feeding the past 2 weeks though so I do make sure i feed in a safe lying position. I've just done the maths and this is the end of week 6 of this so fingers crossed I get a dramatic turn around soon - and before 6 months confused

All in all I guess you have no choice but to keep going - I am actually proud to still be smiling (he is adorable in the day) as I found the first weeks with him as a newborn very hard.

Thanks for your support smile

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