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What am I not getting?!

(5 Posts)
Julia1706 Sat 13-Jan-18 14:53:53

Any advice would be greatly welcome, as I am slowly losing my mind with DS sleep.

I am a single FTM to DS, who is 7 months. He's never been a great sleeper and I think that the longest stretch of sleep I've had at night has been 2 hours. I have got into the habit at night of feeding him back to sleep, but just recently he is waking multiple times, sometimes as frequently as every 30 minutes and it's killing me! I co sleep just to try and optimise my sleep. Recently I've tried patting him back to sleep at night, sometimes it works, although he's still wakes shortly after!

He has recently cut 4 teeth in the space of 4 weeks so I'm pretty confident it's not pain that wakes him. Weaning is going well and he is on 3 meals a day and can independently drink from a sippy cup. DS is also EBF. I don't think it's hunger that wakes him, I don't think he can link sleep cycles and needs me to help him back to sleep.

His daytime sleep is also awful, he will do 30 minute naps only. Just recently he has done the odd longer nap, but there doesn't appear to be any rhyme or reason to this.

I have various methods of getting him to sleep, eg car, pram, bouncy chair, rocking chair and sometimes shush patting in cot. However, which ever I use he still wakes frequently and requires resettling.

He's a happy, alert baby, which is such a saving grace! But I feel that the lack of sleep and frustration means I am not being the best mum I can be to him and it breaks my heart.

I guess I'm looking for any advise, because I feel that I've got this all wrong and I don't know how to make it better!
Has anyone been through this and had a success story?
Would night weaning help (although secretly worried it might make things worse for me!)
Do some baby's just not need that much sleep. I and my family refer to DS as the duracell baby.. he just keeps going!!

Sorry for long post and thanks in advance x

Badeyes77 Sat 13-Jan-18 15:15:03

Hi, this is the first time I've heard someone describe a baby who didn't sleep that matches my own experience. Not getting more than 2 consecutive hours sleep yourself, baby not napping in the day... I could have written this. It was a nightmare, it was hell...sorry that probably isn't making you feel better op..but my god it makes me tear up just thinking about it.

I tried everything I'd read about or been told about with my dd. Granted in my zombified state maybe I didn't do enough but when you're that tired, you just can't function. I found nothing worked with my dd.

One day I just gave up and decided to stop trying and just go with it. I couldn't physically do any more, my body and mind were crumbling. I know that sounds dramatic but I have never ever been so tired.

When I mentally gave up, suddenly it became easier because I didn't have the added the stress of worrying about it if that makes sense. It didn't improve her sleep but it improved my mental state. I coslept and she also ebf. I did give night weaning a go but the breast was the only thing she fell asleep to, she wouldnt take a bottle or dummy. No matter how much milk I sprayed over cuddly toys and blankets and muslins, she didn't accept them as a sleeping aid. I just gave up, let her come on and off the breast as she wanted and didn't let it bother me.

I can't remember what age she stopped napping in the day entirely but it was quite a bit younger than her peers...this made night time improve somewhat but she still wasn't great at night.

Now she's coming up to four, she is usually asleep by 8pm and up at 7am. She often wakes up (and stays awake for about an hour) in the early hours. So really she still gets less than my friends tell me their children get.

Sorry I haven't given any real advice, and I hope you find something that works for you, but if you don't, don't blame yourself. Some children just don't need as much sleep, for whatever reason. And it's bloody hard. flowers

Badeyes77 Sat 13-Jan-18 15:20:41

Oh one bit of practical advice I can offer...

Do you have anyone at all who can come round in the day? A friend or relative? Every so often my mum came over and took dd away, let me relax and try and get some sleep. She didn't have her over night but just getting an hour to myself in the day time every so often, it really helped. Even if I didn't sleep, just a chance to try and relax.

Julia1706 Sat 13-Jan-18 15:47:19

@Badeyes77 , thank you so much for your kind words and moral support. Sorry to hear that you had a very similar experience, although you've made me feel more positive that things will get better!

I think that you are right what you say..about just going with it and doing whatever it takes to survive! It's just so hard though! I'm worrying about going back to work (luckily not till May) but still worried about what I'll do if it doesn't get better! It doesn't help when people tell you advise like ... it will get better when you wean him..when he's more active..when he goes to nursery. This just gives unrealistic expectations only to see them pass and realise,if anything, DS sleep gets shittier as time passes!

I do have a very supportive family and I perhaps needs to utilise what free time I have better, instead of obsessing over what to do to improve DS sleep!

Thanks again, you really have made me feel better!! X

Badeyes77 Sat 13-Jan-18 18:22:57

I'm glad you feel a bit better julia. Definitely make good use of your family. I hope you get more sleep tonight x

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