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10 week old won’t sleep anywhere but my arms help!!

(105 Posts)
YorkshireMam96 Sat 13-Jan-18 09:23:15

DS is 10 weeks old and since birth wouldn’t sleep anywhere but in someone’s arms. I was able to lie down and rest (not sleep) with him on my chest or next to me in my arms. As the weeks have progressed, now he will only sleep if I’m sat up holding him in my arms. We’ve had to resort to co-sleeping as he will not touch his cot but he won’t even let me lay him down in the bed with me!! Hellllpppp!!! I’m going insane

LipstickHandbagCoffee Sat 13-Jan-18 11:41:47

Congratulations on new wee baby
You need to gently break the sleeping in your arms habit.
Incrementally increase time you lay baby in its cot, put an interesting musical mobile on
Of course at first it’ll be disliked but build up the tolerance and baby will adapt
Your baby will be safe and will adjust to the change but you’ll need to grimace through it

OoohSmooch Sat 13-Jan-18 12:08:37

Try a Ewan the Sheep as it mimics womb and heartbeat sounds in the crib. Also as the above poster said its just a case of keep trying and sort of going cold turkey, he will get there but you have to not give in as much (it's hard I know!). Our baby slept better in the Moses basket (we put this inside the crib!) as she was more secure. She was similar with the sleeping better in my arms at first too! With babies the more practice at doing something the more they get used to it. Your baby is used to sleeping close to you/in your arms so that's what he knows.

YorkshireMam96 Sat 13-Jan-18 12:26:18

Thank you for your replies! We have a Ewan and a sleepyhead. We’ve tried him in a Moses basket with no luck. As soon as I put him down it leads to screaming and choking straight away. If I do manage to get him to sleep he wakes up an hour later

LipstickHandbagCoffee Sat 13-Jan-18 12:29:11

Ok so initially start with short times building up incrementally
Make Moses basket fun, put him in it, sit adjacent talk,sing, baby massage
Activity that’s pleasurable and he associate Moses basket as safe
And undoubtedly there will be tears, you’ll need to grimace through that

YorkshireMam96 Sat 13-Jan-18 13:30:17

I’ll try that. Thank you. I just really struggle listening to him cry. There’s only me and him in the house so when I’ve tried putting him in his cot at night time I’ve eventually given up due to sheer exhaustion

SophieGiroux Sat 13-Jan-18 14:56:41

I'm in exactly the same boat except I can lie down at night so at least I do get some sleep then! Every time she wakes she wants a boob though which can sometimes be hourly!
Tried pick up put down method but she just got more and more hysterical. Gave up after 45 min as I was crying and too! I've read so much about cortisol, crying and how it's bad for their brain development too that any crying puts me off!

YorkshireMam96 Sat 13-Jan-18 16:04:27

If he slept any better in bed with me then I would be okay but the only good thing about co-sleeping is that I don’t have to stand up to get him but I do have to sit up all night so it’s not much better

LipstickHandbagCoffee Sat 13-Jan-18 17:06:40

Look the cortisol is a red herring you have a well loved, nourished baby in a safe home
You love and respond to your baby & needs are met. It isn’t a stressful home
Being are too fearful to initiate any changes in case baby cries well that’s daft
You need some time for yourself and a change in sleep routine
Babies cry.some lots
The cortisol arousal and damage is more if needs remains unmet long term this isn’t the case for you

Baby need to fit in around you too and that’ll involve some tears

idontknowhowtofeelaboutthis Sat 13-Jan-18 19:33:09

We coslept with DD from near enough newborn.. purely because I would fall asleep breastfeeding. I'm a very light sleeper and was very aware of her in my arms.

I'm definitely aware of her now, at 4 1/2 when she sneaks back into our bed every single night and I'm 7 months pregnant. I sleep facing out and she's in the middle so just cuddles up to my back, so for now it's okay.

But! I would 100% recommend a baby carrier or wrap. I know a lot of people who have used stretchy carriers. I never did, as I learnt to wrap when DD was 9 weeks old.

It's a god send! Already got a wrap for this baby (a Harry Potter one off Marsupial Mamas!). A few brands are Lenny Lamb, Connecta, Oscha, Firespiral, Kokadi.
There are woven wraps, stretchy wraps, Mei tai, buckles, ring slings and hop tye!
It's worth looking at. Also a Facebook group called "Slings and Things fsot" where you can buy them second hand.

LipstickHandbagCoffee Sat 13-Jan-18 19:49:22

Slings are fine,but don’t get end up with a baby Velcroed to you 24-7 via a sling
This may be mn heresy but as an adult,an individual you need some time for yourself
Tine to go out,Time to shower, eat,look on iPad without baby attached
You’re not compelled to have baby Velcroed to you 24-7. It’s ok to use prom/cot/Moses basket for baby sleeping in

YorkshireMam96 Sat 13-Jan-18 19:50:45

I have a wrap. He won’t go in it. He just cries until I take him out. I’m at my mums wits end. Nothing I do seems to work

YorkshireMam96 Sat 13-Jan-18 19:54:05

He will only go in the pram if it’s the car seat/travel system and he cries if it’s stationery. He won’t go in a Moses basket at all or a cot. We’ve tried a sleepyhead and swaddling and white noise but nothing improves his sleeping

LipstickHandbagCoffee Sat 13-Jan-18 19:55:10

What would you like to do?what do you want to change?
It’s hard having a new wee baby,it can feel overwhelming.scary,new and exhausting

LipstickHandbagCoffee Sat 13-Jan-18 19:58:31

How about for next 2 week initiate some changes,try get him used to cot
If you’re not happy with the current routine you to need to change it

AMagdalena Sat 13-Jan-18 20:14:15

Your baby is still tiny. He may well grow out of it very soon, but every baby is different.
My baby also hated the pram, but got used to it. She still wants me to hold her for naps at 5 months, but the time spent in my arms has reduced; she will happily play by herself for a bit, watch me do housework from her bouncy chair (it was a godsend).

God knows I have tried to put her down for naps; I still do, but clearly she needs me to be close which is perfectly natural.
Is there a DH or DP around? Take turns with him so you can have a nice soak or relax.
Persevere with the cot/Moses basket. The baby will accept it more with time, but don't worry if it doesn't work. The baby needs you more than anything and remember- it's just a phase!

Crumbs1 Sat 13-Jan-18 20:15:54

He will but you choose to hold him all the time. He’s too young for sleep training properly but no harm in letting him at least try to settle himself.

YorkshireMam96 Sat 13-Jan-18 20:44:10

His father is around but we aren’t together. Crumbs1, honestly do you think I like not having any sleep or having to sit up all day every day so he can sleep? The only alternative is listening to him screaming

LipstickHandbagCoffee Sat 13-Jan-18 20:49:06

That’s not your only choice, you can initiate a change,and yes baby will cry.lots
But you need some time for yourself too,some down time without baby
Introduce a new routine & stick to it,grimace through the baby crying

purpleviolet1 Sat 13-Jan-18 20:51:57

http://www.thesleeplady.co.uk/silent-reflux-tips/

Could it be reflux? Read the list of symptoms on the above link. It's most commonly diagnosed around 7-8 weeks

LipstickHandbagCoffee Sat 13-Jan-18 20:53:30

Ask your HV for any tips, or helpful websites etc. And good luck

TittyGolightly Sat 13-Jan-18 20:55:32

Google the 4th trimester. It will probably explain a lot.

AndTheyLivedHappilyEverAfter Sat 13-Jan-18 21:04:33

Could he have reflux or colic, if it's when he's down flat? Maybe try raising the Moses basket to see if that helps. Is he happy and settled when he's awake?

YorkshireMam96 Sat 13-Jan-18 21:51:41

LipstickHandbagCoffee my HV is rubbish she I’ve asked her and she just said to wait and he’ll get better. I think he may have reflux but ive tried everything including elevating his crib and trying him
In a Moses basket and he won’t have it

Oly5 Sat 13-Jan-18 21:58:38

Lipstick, I don’t agree with a single word you’ve said. Cortisol and leaving them to cry does cause damage.
Op, there is nothing wrong with your baby napping in your arms all day or in a car seat. It’s normal at this age that they don’t nap in a cot (I’ve got three kids and my 10 week old currently only does those things too).
At night, can you warm up part of your bed with a hot water bottle and slowly transfer baby from your arms to the bed? Read up on safe cosleeping and try that.
My baby starts off in the crib but then ends up in with me (DH goes to another room to ensure he doesn’t roll on baby).
Honestly this will pass. You don’t need to teach your baby any lessons right now. They just want to be close to you.

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