I just don't know where to go from here

[Redhead79]

First of all this is dc2 so I am under no illusions that sleep is easy, we had our challenges with sleep first time round but nothing compared to this.

Dc2 is now 5 months and every night it takes over an hour to settle. Every wake up in the night is much the same. He will fall asleep feeding then the moment he's moved the screeming starts. We've tried hard to disassociate feeding and sleeping but dummy/white noise/ shhh-pat/rocking singing and multiple combinations of the above have not helped.
For a long time he would only sleep on me and, being so shattered I have fallen asleep while he's been feeding on multiple occasions (I did get one blissful week when I was putting him on his tummy, but then had a freak out about sids so stopped).
I have been making a concerted effort to stay awake for the last few weeks and on the whole this has stopped but he's waking 4-5 times in the night and as it's taking so long to settle him the lack of sleep is now staring to take its toll and I don't know if I can manage it much more.

He's properly crying/screaming not just grizzling and I'm finding it so distressing that I dread the evenings. DH is ready to try cc but I just can't face it, surly there must be another option?

[FATEdestiny]

We've tried hard to disassociate feeding and sleeping but dummy/white noise/ shhh-pat/rocking singing and multiple combinations of the above have not helped.

In what way haven't they helped?

Thus is the key. If you're feeding to sleep you will need to cosleep. If you want baby sleeping in a cot, baby needs you go to sleep in there.

So, say you feed baby, put in cot with dummy and lots of your close attention bending in your the cot - what happens?

Consistency is key.

And if using a dummy properly (as in only giving it baby when being actively sucked) then there should be no crying. You can't cry and suck at the same time, it's physically impossible. That's the whole point of a dummy - no crying.

[help1978]

Could he have colic if in as much distress and benefits from sleeping on tummy? X

[Redhead79]

Help1978 yes, reflux is an issue. His symptoms have been worse recently and (with the Drs consent) we have upped the dose of radatainie, though I think it may still need increasing as he's still symptomatic. The last 2 nights I have put him on his stomach and he's settled much better.

FATEdestiny I don't feed him to sleep at all in the day. He will nap quite happily (most of the time) in his pram/bouncer or crib. Sometimes I have to use a dummy or rock him sometimes he just goes of by himself.
The problem at night is when I put him to bed or he wakes I feed him, he falls asleep and wakes when I transfer him back to his crib. He is generally so inconsolable I end up feeding him again and the whole process starts again (almost 3 hours last night).
Shhh pat was similar....would only work if he was being held and no matter how long we carried on after he fell asleep (or even before he was fully asleep) once he got put back in his crib he would wake, cry and the whole process starts again.

Nothing I try to do to settle him in his crib seams to work - even me being half in it! Sometimes he will take the dummy other times he will just spit it out and get distressed when I try and replace it or just keep moving his head from side to side.

I know a lot of the problem is my fault for letting him sleep on me but i got to the point where I was desperate for sleep, also he was prem so the newborn phase has lasted longer and for a long time the reflux wasn't being managed. I want him in his own bed, so I guess I need to find a way to get him to settle there.
Sorry for all the rambling!