21 month old, cold turkey from bottles during night, horrendous, please help!

[Hidingalion]

DS has woken once a night for a bottle of milk for about a year. Aside from that, he goes down fine, and sleeps til 7 in his own cot/room.

However...Sleep started getting really messed up in the last few months following a cold or two and we've sadly found ourselves this Xmas at the stage where he has been waking every hour and needing me/bottles to resettle. He's not been a happy bunny and I am exhausted.

I am sure the bottles are now waking him, and not doing him any favours, so we are on night 3 of controlled crying/in and out comforting - but no milk.

Each night he has worken at about 11ish and not gone to sleep until 3.

He's screaming for about 3 mins then quiet for 5 mins then screaming again.

Awful heartwrenching cries of mummy mummy.

It's hard to know whether to leave him.for longer gaps or go in more or just bloody stay with him as my heart is crying out to do. I don't want to make it worse for him though, or prolong the process by going in and confusing him. I do believe he can learn to sleep without milk and on his own in his cot.

Argh. Fucking sleep training. I think it's ok for him... but maybe it is flooding his poor little brain with cortisol. I just hate this doubt that maybe it is a cruel awful thing to
do.

[FireCracker2]

It is heartbreaking- I really feel for you. I would increase the intervals of time before you go in, or just call out.'mummy's here.Sleeptime darling'
A good night's sleep is such a wonderful health giving thing for all the family including your DS, I think the end justifies the means.

[FireCracker2]

Just a thought.With the cold weather and us being at home more because of xmas, the heating has been on all through the day everyday and the air in the house has become very dry.I have been waking up at night incredibly dry in my mouth and throat and needing a drink

[Hidingalion]

The interval thing is hard as he is quiet for ages (e.g. 5 mins) then kicks off very screamily for about 5 mins then stops again.So there isn't an 'interval' as such - I would leave him all night if I waited for a solid 15m crying. But he is panicky and upset. DD was really different I am out of my depth!

[Hidingalion]

Yes! I agree,he is really thirsty! Esp as he usually had a load of milk in the night. But he is so aggrieved about the milk he won't take any water!

[MyKingdomForBrie]

Go in whenever he screams, comfort then leave. Offer water.

I could never leave to scream.

[Hidingalion]

yes that's what I've been doing. But it may, I think, be prolonging it so that the total screaming is greater.

[LML83]

when my ds stopped his bottle my dh settled him at night, he wasn't used to seeing dh and night and didn't have the same association of bottle so he was comforted by dh saying noght night, fixing covers and giving dummy. If I went in he screamed and stood up shouting bottle.

Was a tough couple of nights for dh but worth it (and I did most of the night time duties until then so dh did not complain)

You sound like a caring attentive mum you will be doing the right thing, it's just hard.

[converseandjeans]

I think I would go back to offering milk. If he only used to wake up once then go back to sleep? Not sure I could do the controlled crying like that. Good luck.

[MyKingdomForBrie]

What LML said is true for us too - if I go in she has to have milk but if he goes in just blankets and dummy is fine.

Dd normally only asks for milk once in the night if that now but went through phases of needing milk every couple of hours, I am bf so was killing me, it just faded out after a few weeks though.

[Hidingalion]

Thank you - good to hear you had a fadeout. The trouble with us is he's just getting less and less settled. I was seeing it as temporary but it's basically been about 3-4 months since the happy days of one.wakeup & back to sleep.

[Hidingalion]

Over last few nights it has got worse. Even if I'm with him all the time he cries for hours. Last night he cried 11-4. I don't think it's working. But he doesn't need milk in the night does he???! I don't know what to do - if I go back to milk it will negate all his crying and work this far. 😢

How long should I do it??

[BlackRibboner]

Hidingalion, how are you getting on?

We've just started week 3 of controlled crying (with 5 then 10 then 15 etc minute intervals) and after the first 3/4 nights it was like a dream - my 21 month old went through every night. But suddenly the last few nights he's regressed massively and sleep is even worse than it was before. I am so knackered and completely unsure we're doing the right thing - where did you get to with it?