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Can she have dummy for day naps but not night?!

(17 Posts)
RebeccaNoodles Thu 07-Dec-17 20:04:42

Please help!

My DD who is just 6 months was a keen dummy user which I was v happy with - until she started waking for it at night a LOT. After one night where she woke 20-30 times (no exaggeration) we decided to take it away. She now goes down very easily and sleeps incredibly well at night which is obviously great. That was around 10 days ago.

However, daytime naps have become a nightmare. I was just starting to put her down for naps in the cot but now I have to walk her in the buggy. She can do her morning nap in the cot (around 40 minutes) but that's it. Towards the end of the day we can have 10/15 minutes crying before she manages to drift off which is obviously very upsetting, plus I'm exhausted from walkings miles every day (I haven't adjusted to the new sleeping DD and I keep waking every hour in the night.) I can't tell if the naps are getting better or not, I'm too tired. sad

So my question is: can/should I give it back to her for her daytime naps? Or is that too confusing for her? Would she start to want it at night?! I feel that having made her go without it for 10 days we should stay consistent. But if she could have it in the day but learn not to have it at night that surely could work? Or will she adjust?! Wise mumsnetters have you had this, and what happened?

thanks!

PS there is no need to tell me we could have kept the dummy at night smile .. that's done now, I'm just concerned about the day.

RebeccaNoodles Thu 07-Dec-17 20:11:10

Hm - I should have titled this 'Have you used' not 'can she have'! I 'm not looking for permission, but would love to hear others' experiences!

villainousbroodmare Thu 07-Dec-17 20:19:38

I think that you need the sleep queen Fate Destiny here!
But I reckon you've achieved your objective at night, would be mad to return the dummy by day as of course she will want it at night too.
Unless you were to just bring it back full time as a settling aid and take comfort in the fact that she will shortly be able to scrabble about for it and pop it back in her own mouth? But I don't believe there's a halfway house.
Also would be resisting the 40 min walk approach as it's just exhausting.

Sipperskipper Thu 07-Dec-17 20:54:57

No idea about the day / night issue, but is she waking for her dummy during naps?

We had the same issue waking for the dummy a billion times, and bought a sleepytot to attach dummies too. Within 2 days she could use it to put dummy in herself, and we’ve never looked back!

Hope things sort themselves out soon.

crazycatlady5 Thu 07-Dec-17 23:46:17

A dummy should be used consistently and @FATEdestiny would definitely agree!

RebeccaNoodles Fri 08-Dec-17 08:16:21

Should it? Why? She doesn't get walked in the buggy at night. Or the sling, or white noise - so why would she have a problem having dummy in day but not at night? That's what I'm trying to figure out.

Is she waking for dummy during naps: occasionally sort of? There have been occasions where she wakes early from a nap and I know the dummy would resettle her.

I know all the advice about night use of dummies: sleepy wings, glow in the dark dummies, attaching to a muslin or sleeping bag etc - we're not doing that: the dummy is gone now at night. Over!

I would love to hear from anyone who has successfully used dummy in the day but not at night. Or if you tried it and didn't work.. Or will she settle for naps without dummy eventually and if so how long will it take?!

I realise I'm lucky to have such good night sleeps now, cry me a river but I am really struggling in the day so would appreciate any thoughts from someone who's been there!

crazycatlady5 Fri 08-Dec-17 08:20:56

I’m sure some people have managed to use a dummy in the day only, sorry I can’t be of more help, mine refused all dummies and bottles and swaddles and I could go on

icantdothis2017 Fri 08-Dec-17 08:24:22

Think the reason a dummy should be used consistently is because of sids risk

icantdothis2017 Fri 08-Dec-17 08:25:46

Regular dummy use is the best way to use a dummy. This means offering your baby a dummy each time you put them down for a sleep, day or night. You and your baby will also find it easier to have a regular sleep routine. If the dummy falls out of your baby’s mouth during sleep, there is no need to put it back in

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/dummies-and-sids/

icantdothis2017 Fri 08-Dec-17 08:27:38

Fwiw
My daughter never ever got the hang of naps even with a dummy .
At 6 months she was taking a
9-9:30 nap and a 1-1:30 nap and at 22 months she hasn't napped for a few months now .
She never did the proper naps .
It was rare we got a nap longer than 45 minutes

RebeccaNoodles Fri 08-Dec-17 08:34:12

Thanks everyone - I do appreciate all the thoughts, forgive me if I sound a tad apocalyptic! SIDS risk seems less relevant now that DD is over 6 months - she's still beside us at night and she's supervised for all naps - but good to know the official advice I guess

Ican't, sorry to hear about your short naps - and I thought I was doing badly with 4 x40 minute naps! And catlady, sorry your DD refused dummy as they are so useful ... I worked so hard to get my baby to take one and now we're in a tricky transition period I suppose.
No doubt it will all settle down soon ...

lorisparkle Fri 08-Dec-17 08:34:39

The main reason we never used a dummy was because of the sids risk through intermittent use. Have you considered sone gentle sleep training for naps? I used to lie with ds1 and then gradually moved further away. It took a while but he was having two good naps and sleeping through by the end of the training.

user1488794856 Fri 08-Dec-17 08:37:41

We had the same experience as you at around the same age, very willing to give it up for nighttime, bit not so much for daytime. We there for let her continue to use it for her naps and it didn't seem to cause any confusion. The drive to sleep is much stronger at night than it is during the day which is why extra assistance is needed.
Interestingly, around a month or so later DD developed a blocked nose so couldn't use her dummy during the day, and after that she stopped using it altogether.

RebeccaNoodles Fri 08-Dec-17 08:47:15

Hi user, wow, that is very very useful to know. Your baby definitely didn't start having problems settling at night? DD is now sleeping 7pm-6am (I know! Lucky!), and I obviously don't want to mess with that ...

Lori, yes, we did gentle sleep training and it worked like a dream - that was part of the reason we stopped the dummy at night! It's just daytime naps that are harder now ...

RebeccaNoodles Fri 08-Dec-17 08:50:28

Also, user - did you have a gap where you took it away completely and then gave it back for daytime? Or did she always have it in the day? I feel like DD will be upset with us in retrospect that we made her do without it for 10 days ... though I know she doesn't quite have that kind of memory ... Thanks!

user1488794856 Fri 08-Dec-17 09:14:05

Yes, we persevered for a few days with no dummy for naps, but the result was a very distressed baby, and a stressed mum. Her naps were also shorter because she just wasn't as settled. She was much happier when we gave it back and it didn't affect her night sleep at all. Like you, we stopped giving it to her at night as she was waking for it too often, and removing at night had her sleeping soooo much better.
My advice would be to follow her lead, she's let you know that at nighttime she can go without, but at daytime she needs it....in time she may drop it in the daytime also like mine did, or she might continue to need it in the day for much longer, but whilst you are both happy with the arrangement and it's working for you then I would stick with it.

FATEdestiny Fri 08-Dec-17 20:17:16

I think that you need the sleep queen Fate Destiny here!

Heehee. I've only just seen it.

RebeccaNoodles - I wouldn't automatically give it back at night (you're past the age for the SIDS/dummy link), bug I would be prepared to if needed.

I would suggest you establish a ladder of comforting given. Use that ladder with complete consistency- all daytime naps, bedtime and any night wake. Always the same.

If you don't need a dummy at bedtime, whatever you go here is the first rung on the ladder. Always (every sleep) do this first. If baby doesnt settle easily at bedtime (without dummy), have an extra thing you do for comfort. If that continues to not help, I'd then give dummy. Regardless of day of night- it us used for that level in the comforting ladder

An example would be (and there are thousands of different ways):

- kiss, into bed, stand/lie by cot and wait for baby to go to sleep.
- If that doesn't work, hand on chest to settle any upset
- If that doesn't work, patting hand you settle
- If that doesn't work, patting hand and my face close your baby's face and some shushing
- If that doesn't work, patting, shushing and give dummy.
- If that doesn't work, patting, shushing, tap on outside of dummy
... and so on.

But what is important is to use this ladder with complete consistency. If baby goes to sleep before a dummy used needed (day, night, whenever) then great. If baby us upset and needs extra comfort, then make the dummy part of your escalating comfort given always, every time.

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