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DD only sleeps in my arms

(12 Posts)
Kat05112017 Mon 04-Dec-17 18:47:43

My dd is 4 weeks old (already!!) but will only sleep in my arms or on my chest! Everytime she sleeps I try to put her down she cries! I think she may have colic as seems to be unsettled and crying in the evenings (she's fed and has a clean bottom!) anyone else have the same issue? Any advice? I've tried putting something that smells of me in the cot and tried standing next to the cot but no such luck! And spent £40 on a cot mobile but nothing seems to help! Hate falling asleep with her in my arms (I'm propped up both side so she can't fall) sad

FATEdestiny Mon 04-Dec-17 19:30:52

It's very dangerous to fall asleep with her in your arms. Her sleeping next you you (safely) on a bed would be safer than in your arms.

The tools if getting baby to tolerate being put didn't are:

- swaddle (tight around shoulders)
- dummy
- slow, calm movements

After a feed lie baby in yge centre of a long, thin price if material (cut up an old sheet, for example. About 1.5m by 50cm). One side of pulled tightly over one arm/shoulder, under baby's bottom/back and up the other side. Repeat other side.

Lift baby onto your shoulder and rub/pat until you get at least 1 burp.

With baby swaddled and on your shoulder, bend at the waist over cot. Keep baby in position, not moving away from your torso, until you are hoovering horizontally over the cot mattress, holding baby against you.

Lower baby last few cm onto the mattress. DO NOT MOVE. Stay with your whole body a few cm away from baby, as you were when first puttinh baby down and put dummy in baby's mouth for comfort sucking. Keep your face close your baby's so he can hear and feel your breath.

Put your hand on baby's chest and slowly, very gradually lean away. Your hand stays to provide the reassuring touch. Tap the outside of the dummy to encourage comfort sucking.

After a few minutes baby may well stop sucking and relax the muscles of the mouth. As dummy goes limp in the jaw, gently remove dummy, slowly remove your hand and sneek away ninja style.

NC1990 Tue 05-Dec-17 12:03:28

No advice but my baby is exactly the same, she is nearly 4 weeks old and just will not go down to sleep on her back. She tends to be sick everytime I put her down no matter how long it's been since a feed and how much she's been burped. HV wasn't very helpful and just said she might be a bit colicky.

Tried all the above and makes no difference, she will never go down day or night. Don't know what to do but I'm at the end of my rope right now and physically and mentally exhausted 😞😢

Scorpiolady123 Tue 05-Dec-17 12:07:23

My baby was like this. He could always wriggle out of my swaddles no matter what. I highly recommend the grosnug at your baby's age!

Kleokat Tue 05-Dec-17 12:09:21

My baby was like this and still is to a certain extent during the day at 5 month old. She will not nap unless being held. It's very restricting.

KatnissK Tue 05-Dec-17 12:09:48

My 5 month old was like this. Honestly, I battled to settle him for weeks and weeks. Finally I caved and started co-sleeping - it was the best thing I ever did! I would just make it safe and co-sleep. Even if your sleep is disturbed, at least you are getting some! We are also co-sleeping through the 4 month sleep regression.

MissBax Tue 05-Dec-17 12:13:42

DD was the same - I (safely) coslept till she was around 8 weeks. Every few nights I would try her in her snuzpod and if she fussed would happily Co sleep. One night I tried and she just settled in the crib and I was all "oh okay" and that was that.
Don't stress about needing to hit timescales etc. If DC is happy and you are with cosleeping then go for it.

Scorpiolady123 Tue 05-Dec-17 12:14:24

NC1990

My baby wouldn't sleep at all in the day but I realised I probably wasn't trying hard enough. He would shriek as well. Google to 5 s's. I found this useful. I dedicated a good week of making my baby nap. It was tough going but I'd note the time on waking and make sure he was swaddle, dummy in, being rocked/swung (he won't go to sleep without this) and persevered . Also used the grosnug when he was younger. I've just stopped using a swaddleme (he's 5 months next week) and he now sleeps in a grobag for naps. His sleeping needs have changed so I've had to adjust things as he's gotten older. He's not a great sleeper now. Some just aren't and needs lots of help but it now works for us! I used to cry regularly trying to get him to sleep!

BartlebyTheScrivener Tue 05-Dec-17 12:14:29

Look up la leche league's 'sleep safe 7'. It sounds as though you are co sleeping already and you need to make it as safe as possible. I slept with my second baby on my chest for a few weeks and then beside me, it wasn't what I initially wanted to do but it was necessary. She would occasionally sleep in her cot in her sleepyhead. My first would sleep swaddled but I didn't swaddle second time round as my I feel it affected his feeding (sleeping too deeply for too long too early) and he moved so little o feel it contributed to him getting a flat head . It is absolutely normal for baby mammals to want to sleep next to or on mummy but it isn't without risks and it's best to plan to do it as safely as you can.

ChilliMum Tue 05-Dec-17 12:34:45

You need to research safe co-sleeping. What you are doing is extremely dangerous.

My dd was exactly the same and the solution that worked for me was co-sleeping. I was extremely lucky to belong to a breast feeding group that was run by a midwife who was happy to advise re co-sleeping. It changed our lives!

My dd is now a stroppy pre teen and I would give anything to go back and enjoy those sleepy cuddles now! I know it's probably not helpful but it does pass and far too soon.

NC1990 Tue 05-Dec-17 17:07:22

@Scorpiolady123 you're right I think I need to persevere more, funnily enough was just looking at swaddle bags as DD always manages to escape from her cellular blanket and flails her arms about when I put her in a Grobag. Hopefully it will click one day soon (before we then have the 4-month sleep regression, then teething etc. 🙈).

I wish DD would safely co-sleep but she hates being on her back so that doesn't really help us, even with me cuddling into her she won't go to sleep unless on her front on my chest 😩

Scorpiolady123 Tue 05-Dec-17 20:51:50

Good luck! It can be tough going but worth it. My baby only sleeps 30-40mins at a time but has regular naps because of this. It used to drive me bonkers that he wouldn't nap longer but I now accept that and am just happy he gets some sleep. It can feel like you spend your days fighting to get them down for a nap- all day. But worth it in the end.

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