Please go easy on me as I already feel awful enough.. so after weeks of LO suddenly waking to comfort feed every hour in the night and refusing to be put down for bed until hours of comfort feeding have exhausted her, my mum finally got her way and pushed me to attempt CIO. My LO is 15 weeks old and although seems very young my mum told me she did it with both me and my brother when we were much younger. I did all the right things, ie fed, changed, winded, comfortable, put down almost asleep... but as soon as she hit the mattress she began wining and then crying and finally after only 5 minutes hysterically screaming and hyperventilating. I couldn’t bare any more than that and much to my mums disapproval I went in and comforted her. It took at least half an hour for her to calm down and her breathing to go back to normal but now every time I put her down asleep she wakes up screaming like she thinks I’m going to do it to her again. I feel so heartbroken as previously I would go to her the second she started whining and now I feel as though she had lost complete trust in me. She has not slept anywhere other than in my arms since the night before last as she will not be put down or she goes into total meltdown. Have I broken my poor child? Or should I have been consistent with CIO as have made it worse since picking her up? I really don’t know what’s right as there’s so many opinions and I feel like a clueless idiot. Just want what’s best for my baby without worrying about scarring her! Please help
I think (in the nicest possible way) she has lost her trust in you. Personal opinions on CIO aside, 15 weeks is FAR too young for ANY sort of sleep training.
TBH I wouldn't listen to your mum. IME leaving babies to CIO is quite a generational thing (especially starting so young) and they think that just because we all turned out alright that it's fine... its not!
It's probably the 4 month sleep regression - yes, it's tough but it passes. DS was feeding 2 hourly at night from 14 weeks - approx 19 weeks and then it passed. It then happened again during his 6 month growth spurt and now again due to the 8 month regression.
Does she have a dummy?
I realise now that she really is too young, I have never regretted anything more I’m just going to let her comfort feed as much as she wants with the mind set that it’s not forever. Think that’s the only way for her to stay happy and me to get through it. She does but she rarely takes it unless very very tired and just spits it out when she’s asleep. Have tried that when she stops feeding and starts just suckling but she gets hysterical and just wants boob.
You just made a mistake, that's all. Babies have terrible memories so she will forget it soon enough as long as she gets lots of reassurance in the meantime.
Have ypu tried the following:
Let her nurse and when she's just sucking rather than feeding and is asleep/pretty much asleep, remove your boob and very, very gently put your finger under her chin to stop her mouth falling open. I'm not talking about holding her mouth shut. If she puts up any resisance, stop. But by lifting her chin up like that it can stop her realising she doesn't have anything in her mouth and stop her from waking up.
It will pass. X
Thanks for the reassurance, I really hope she forgets sooner rather than later Never heard of that but I’m willing to try anything! Thanks for the tip x
Make sure you know the difference between comfort sucking and cluster feeding. Pls don’t worry she will be fine. Having a new baby is hard and we listen to loved ones advice of course! Doing what you did regularly is totally different to doing it once. She’ll be fine x
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