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Advice and Help desperately needed!

(17 Posts)
Tiredmum17 Thu 30-Nov-17 14:53:10

Hi Everyone!
I need some advice regarding sleep with my 11 mo dd.
Up until 6 months she slept perfectly well in her own room and I df before I went to sleep which worked perfectly. Cue 6 months and learning to crawl. She has never been the same. Worse now that she can stand. She sees the cot as a challenge and climbs and bounces every time she is placed there. I am having to settle her on my own bed and then move her when she is drowsy to her cot. She wakes up 3/4 times a night bouncing and again I have to either rock her back to sleep or place her in my bed and again move her.

I need help!!!

I have tried controlled crying but it's just not for me. Any ideas on getting her to settle alone and in her cot?


crazycatlady5 Thu 30-Nov-17 17:31:18

Can you put the cot up against the side of your bed? Or get a floor bed? Some babies (mine included) just hate cots.

Tiredmum17 Thu 30-Nov-17 18:11:14

The cot has been up against my bed for the past 2 months but as soon as she wakes and sees me she gets more excited and bounces and then can't get back asleep. Today I've put her cot back in her own room to see if it helps as I think it may be me disturbing her through the night

FATEdestiny Thu 30-Nov-17 22:11:05

Can she go from standing to lying down without help?

Chaosofcalm Fri 01-Dec-17 14:00:34

At 6 months my DD sleep became nightmare ish. We started to cosleep and she immediately dropped a night feed and then after remaining two feeds would always go straight back to sleep.

Tiredmum17 Sun 03-Dec-17 17:53:07

When we co sleep she can sleep through with no problems but it's not a habit I want to get into. She can get down from standing with ease. She goes asleep and I transfer her to the cot drowsy and she can then sleep for around 4/5 hours but then wakes.

FATEdestiny Mon 04-Dec-17 18:07:39

The problem is her going into the cot asleep or drowsy. At this age she should be going in the cot fully awake and for all of her relaxing to sleep whilst in the cot.

This will begin as a battle of wills. It will involve repeatedly tapping the mattress and telling her to lie down. And going that calmly and patiently a gazillion times.

relaxitllbeok Mon 04-Dec-17 18:19:16

Sympathy! From 13m we had DS sleep in his own room on a futon mattress on the floor. To start with, one of us lay down with him on it till he was at least drowsy; often had to go back in the night and would quite often wake up there but it worked for us (crying methods of sleep training, controlled or CIO, were definitely not for us, and maybe it's coincidence, but we've never had bedtime drama and I credit that - if you buy my theory, then the policy was a timesaver overall regardless of principle). Later, we had the principle that he could look at books or play with certain quiet toys but had to stay on the mattress. Obviously the room has to be child-proofed: we used to leave the door open with a gate in it, which worked with our layout, ymmv.

crazycatlady5 Mon 04-Dec-17 18:25:01

Definitely recommend what relaxitllbeok did - no drama and no crying x

welshweasel Mon 04-Dec-17 18:25:37

We went through this when DS was learning to walk. Made the mistake of getting him out of the cot, trying to co sleep etc. Eventually took FATEs advice!! Essentially once in the cot at bedtime, he stayed there until morning. Initially that meant multiple trips to his room to lie him down, then place a firm hand on his back to stop him getting up again. Once stopped fighting we’d leave again, before he fell asleep. Same for naps. It’s a battle of wills. Took 3 days to sort.

Tiredmum17 Tue 12-Dec-17 13:54:55

Sorry for the delay in replying. FATEdestiny, I know the problem is this and I really wish she could go in her cot awake and relax there but she just climbs or cries and this can last hours. I wish I knew of a way to get her to settle in the cot because at the moment I'm stuck for ideas. I go in and lay her down time and time again but nothing seems to help

crazycatlady5 Tue 12-Dec-17 15:50:40

Mine hates her cot and will scream too, it’s not for all babies. Have you thought about the floor bed idea?

Tiredmum17 Tue 12-Dec-17 17:18:11

I have thought about it but think I will be anxious at the thought of her rolling off. Have you used a floor bed?

TittyGolightly Tue 12-Dec-17 17:19:19

Duck tape?

TittyGolightly Tue 12-Dec-17 17:21:05

My DD did this. It was a compulsion, not naughtiness. A development and not something (IMO) requiring a battle of wills.

I went with it, rode it out and we came out the other side.

Whilst it was happening my dad said he clearly remembered me doing got 30something years before. The solution then was a sleeping bag with ties that you used to hold the child down on the mattress. Yes really.

crazycatlady5 Tue 12-Dec-17 21:08:47

Agree Titty. My 10 mo has just learnt to stand. It’s like her body is constantly wired even when she is tired, she can’t relax. Eventually she does, with a cuddle and a feed smile definitely normal and not naughty or something she is doing wrong!

FATEdestiny Tue 12-Dec-17 22:10:00

She can get down from standing with ease

Then you don't need to lie her down in her cot, she can lie down independently on her own.

How is she generally (away from sleep time) at following your instructions? Can you practice simple instruction-following in your play? Games like Simon Says, mimicking and copying your movements, musical bumps. Even things like put your shoes by the door, put this breaker on the table, take this banana skin to the kitchen...

Once you have mastered basic instruction games (and you may already getting there) then make some of the instructions based around expected behaviour. Climb down off there. Do not stand on the chair, you might fall. Sit down to eat your sandwich, I would like you to sit here to have your drink, sit down please.

Don't do these things for her. It is important to give the instruction and have her follow the instructions where possible.

So once this kind of instruction giving ancient following is embedded in every day life, then apply it to bedtime.

Commit to never lying baby down again. Ever. Be it in the cot or on your bed, put her down standing up, tap the matreess, ask her to lie down. Do that every time.

So in the cot, you forget need to make her lie down, you just keep repeatedly calmly and patiently give her the instruction to lie down, tap the mattress and wait.

If she refuses point blank, then you need to work more with positive praise when instruction following in play. This us just about behaviour expectations.

If she follows the instruction happily, great. That's half the battle. She may well repeatedly get up, sit up, delay tactics and what not. It happens simply because she now physically can get up. So be patient, it's not a big deal. Just repeatedly give the instruction to lie down and tap the mattress. Praise every time she lies down.

Positive praise works you teach children to follow instructions. It's how teachers and nursery nurses wink their magic. Praise when she follows instruction in play. Give instructions regularly and don't do things for her. Then praise and be proud of her. It's great for self-esteem building smile

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