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How did you teach your baby to self sooth?

(11 Posts)
ginfizzliz Tue 14-Nov-17 22:11:48

My baby is two months old and the health visitor said that by three months it's a good idea to put her down to sleep drowsy but awake so that she learns to self soothe and will sleep better. She currently wakes after 1-2 hours sleep throughout the night so I am very up for an improvement in that regard!

I'm really interested to hear other people's experiences of how/when they've gone about this so please share your words of wisdom!

BeanSprout79 Tue 14-Nov-17 22:26:48

Saving my place as also have a 2 month old and it would be very useful to know.

furryelephant Tue 14-Nov-17 22:29:15

We’re nearly at a year here and still can’t! I’m sure someone will come along and explain, but frequent waking is so normal when they’re small and need lots of milk smile

FATEdestiny Tue 14-Nov-17 22:32:20

If you use a dumny it's all very easy.

You just get baby comfort sucking on the dummy, put down whilst sucking. Stick around so baby can see you and feel you (hand on chest for example) and can reinsert dummy as needed. Then just wait there until baby is asleep.

Important distinction between independant settling (going to sleep on own, not with parent) and self settling (having the ability to settle without comfort and security, like an adult. This is shown as being from "school age", so around 3-5 years old).

Independant settling can be done from birth but will need parental help until fine motor skills develop to do the comforting themself.

Dionysus78 Tue 14-Nov-17 22:35:31

Some babies never will. My daughter wouldn't sleep off the breast until she was 2. Some need cuddles, some need songs, but you can never really alter what they need to get them to sleep.

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery Tue 14-Nov-17 22:40:58

I didn't. I fed her to sleep every night until she was a year old, when she decided she didn't want to breastfeed any more. We did a bit of shh-patting for a week of so after that. She's been a brilliant sleeper since she was about 3 months old. It's totally down to luck.

Herculesupatree Tue 14-Nov-17 23:01:36

From 2 months old I fed DS to sleep/sleepy but then tried to wake him up slightly when putting him in the cot. He kinda opened his eyes then closed them again, which I think meant he knew where he was. If he didn't wake up one time I didn't worry just tried again at the next nap. By 4 months this had progressed to putting him in his cot wide awake (but showing signs of tiredness!) and he would go to sleep by himself.

If he cried on my leaving the room I used shush-patting technique from the baby whisperer book. He didn't cry often but I would never leave him if he did.

No idea if it will work with any other babies but he is the best sleeper now. And he did not regress at 4 months when most babies do.

crazycatlady5 Tue 14-Nov-17 23:34:10

Self soothing is a developmental ability babies learn on their own, and not at three months old. There are things to HELP sooth a baby, self soothing at 3 months is nonsense.

crazycatlady5 Tue 14-Nov-17 23:35:56

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/sarahockwell-smith.com/2014/06/30/self-settling-what-really-happens-when-you-teach-a-baby-to-self-soothe-to-sleep/amp/

ginfizzliz Wed 15-Nov-17 17:08:12

Thanks for the replies!

I do wonder if a lot of it is down to luck, it's true!

I certainly don't want to push my daughter to do something outside of her developmental abilities, and I wouldn't let her cry, but I want her to sleep well as I think that will make her (and, I confess, me!) happier. I'm very happy cuddling her to sleep but I feel so guilty when I put her down knowing that it must be a shock for her to wake up no longer in my arms. I would much rather she settled in bed and was happy to be there.

I do have a slight obsession with sleep as I was a terrible sleeper as a child and couldn't be left alone until I was almost in my teens. I slept in with my Mum for years and refused to be upstairs on my own so slept on the sofa until my parents went to bed. Even at 37 I hate being in the flat on my own and have to check under the bed and keep the light on if my partner is away 😳

FATEdestiny Wed 15-Nov-17 17:32:44

You could encourage independant sleeping ginfizzliz, as in ways to comfort baby to sleep without baby being in your arms. Baby going to sleep in the place they will stay asleep is a vital and necessary thing. That can be established now, at any time really. It doesn't mean not comforting baby. It means doing the comforting in the place baby will stay asleep.

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