This weekend...we sleep train. Please impart you’re wisdom!!(9 Posts)
We’ve had it in the diary for a month and finally the time has come...this weekend we sleep train.
It’s never something I intended ir wanted to do but our little boy is now 11 months old and can only nap on me in the daytime and fall asleep on me at night and still wakes 2-3 times a night.
Enough is enough. He can’t start nursery this way and it’s not good for him or me. He needs to learn to fall asleep independantly.
We haven’t attempted any form of sleep training before. He’s had a few medical issues so we have been doing very much attachment parenting and anything to keep him happy.
I guess I’m looking for some tips, stories and reassurance!! I only want to do it once (even if it’s traumatic, long and stressful) so want to get it right. Please tell me your stories! I’m thinking of making a little diary and posting it on the sleep thread to keep us motivated?
We are using the methods described in the ‘what worked for us’ mumsnet thread - google it.
Anyway...please tell me what you’ve all tried any what does/doesn’t work!
Good luck! My DD went from waking between 10-15 times a night, to sleeping through, in two days. It was life changing. Anyone who tells you sleep training is bad for your DC underestimates how bad having a mother at actual breaking point is
We actually spent £££ on an appointment with a sleep trainer and follow up phone support, but I don't think she told us anything we couldn't have got from other sources. The one benefit I think was having one system, and absolutely sticking to it. So, if you've picked up tips off a thread that's fine, but make sure you and DP both are totally clear on what you are doing with each wake up. Be totally totally consistent.
The first night can be really hard. You might possibly cry. Keep your eyes on the prize, and the long term benefits of better sleep for everyone.
You might find you get them sleeping through, but it slips into early waking instead. Decide what time you are prepared to get up, and be consistent about that too. I wasn't, and had years of early rising issues which we are only really dealing with now DD is at school.
Don't discuss it with people who disapprove of sleep training. A small negative comment can make you feel really shit.
I would definitely recommend keeping a diary. I think we still have DDs on Google drive somewhere . It might feel like slow progress, but if you look you can realise how things are improving
Good luck! It was the best thing we ever did for our family. Make sure you stick to your sleep training plan and don’t crumble! Both you and partner need to be on the exact same page. Enjoy the sleep that will be yours very soon!
Most importantly: don't be guilt tripped about it. You know your limits, and your family and it's your decision to make. I did listen up guilt trippers and was tipped into pnd by my sleep deprivation, which I'm pretty sure did actual damage to my children, unlike a couple of nights of crying. I have huge regrets and wish I'd done it sooner.
As for methods, we did controlled crying with intervals of about 5 minutes, which worked over two nights.
Good luck. We start tonight with DS who is just 1. Will be thinking of you!
@schwanengesang good luck for tonight!!! Please let me kno how the 1st night goes!! I’m expecting it to take hours with our little guy
We had DH sleep in DS' room (I've been in there since DS was born. with DH doing a few hours there once every week or two). I'd been planning to do the final feed on the sofa then hand him to DH for cuddles, water, in-cot settling.
He fell asleep on the boob to start with as the tradesman we'd been waiting for all day finally arrived with no notice at 7pm and DH had to help him. Woke at 8, totally lost it when realised he was with Dad & not Mum, 35 mins screaming, choking, flailing. But then slept til 10.30, cried 15 mins, slept til 12.30, cried 20 mins, slept til 2 cried a bit, woke up about every 30 mins thereafter until I went in at 4.30 to feed him and let DH get some rest (I couldn't sleep, hand expressing wasn't working, and I had forgotten to get the pump out of DS' room). Happy little DS had a big big feed and then slept on the bed next to me for 2 hours without moving, other than to smile and chat in his sleep. Then woke up and was very happy
So all in all he got WAY more sleep than he usually does, even if there was also a lot more crying.
He's now asleep on the boob (9am), but hasn';t looked tired this morning as he often does.
We did /are doing a sort of sleep training. I would say stick with it even in the dark hours of 3am when you know a feed will help!
Get dh on board to swap over.
Dont have too much planned for tomorrow
We made sure that ds didn't feed to sleep so purposely put him down awake and then patted /sushed /gradually retreated. I personally couldn't do the controlled crying although it takes longer. Someone explained it to me that when they fall asleep on you and you then put them in a cot it's like you falling asleep in bed and waking up in the garden. You wouldn't just go back to sleep.
That helped me and hope it does yiu
We did timed interval/return and check/Ferber - it sank in within a few days and DS has been a great sleeper ever since. But remember if it doesn't work it might just be bad timing and worth trying again after a break!
What helped for us was setting up a little 'nest' on the landing so whoever was on duty could sit comfortably, see a clock easily, read/listen to a podcast with headphones, grab a drink easily. And we took clear turns as well so whoever wasn't 'on duty' could stick some headphones on or shut the sitting room door and watch TV or nap on the sofa. Oh, and the deal was whoever was upstairs had their phone with them on silent, whoever was downstairs had theirs on ring, and was ready to make tea or provide biscuits as requested
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