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Feeling down

(16 Posts)
Chosenbyyou Tue 07-Nov-17 16:22:09

Hi,

Just went to a baby group to get out the house! Spoke to four other mums who all said at various points that their babies sleep through - one since 5 weeks! I wasn't trying to talk about sleep - I was talking about food!

It's just got me down - mine hasn't slept through the night yet and is just seven months old. Ironically he self settles and has a dummy. He is up three times for dummy replacement and once for food and tries to get up at 4.30 am where I try to get him back to sleep - takes 1hr 15 mins almost exactly!

My last slept through at 14 months.

I'm just feeling down as I seem to spend all my time trying to get babies to sleep/nap. I don't enjoy the 0-1 age and I'm sure it's cuz of sleep. I feel like I'm failing and I'm trying like mad!

Sorry for moaning sad xx

Battleax Tue 07-Nov-17 16:24:07

None of mine have been easy sleepers either.

TBH, I think it's the baby-braggers that are bad for your health wink

(Of all the things to be smug about!)

Chosenbyyou Tue 07-Nov-17 16:31:10

Thanks battle! smile

I need to get over it but it just got me thinking that if mine had slept through at 5 weeks (!!) I would probably really be enjoying my maternity leave!

X

chloechloe Tue 07-Nov-17 21:31:53

Moan away, sounds like you have the normal baby! My 10mo slept through on the night she was born, then never again! Until recently she was waking up 8 times a fecking night until I went cold turkey on night feeds.

I take the view that all children will challenge their parents in different ways. Maybe those that sleep through will turn into tantrumming toddlers!

Phoenix76 Tue 07-Nov-17 22:24:35

I remember feeling smug when dd1 was sleeping through at 6 months (that was considered great in my circle, although I kept getting up to check she was still breathing - I know, I know!). Dd2 however wiped the smugness off and has enjoyed night time "activities " for some time. She is now 19 months and although she no longer requires a feed she does require "re-settlement"!. The good news is it's getting better and my body now accepts it's fate and I don't look so much like an extra in a zombie movie. Hang in there, it will pass!

crazycatlady5 Wed 08-Nov-17 08:13:35

I know many many more parents who’s babies aren’t sleeping through until well over a year old than people with babies that do. It’s really hard but you’re not doing anything wrong flowers

drinkyourmilk Wed 08-Nov-17 09:30:50

My 7 month old doesn't sleep through either. Never gone longer than 5 hours. Usually it's 2. Apparently all the nct babies sleep through. Meh. We now co-sleep and I love my baby snuggles.

mmmammma Wed 08-Nov-17 10:02:21

I feel you OP, my nearly 10mo has never slept through and most nights is up every 2h if not more... @chloechloe interested in going cold turkey with night feeds too, was it rough? I really don't think I have it in me to gradually decrease...

chloechloe Wed 08-Nov-17 12:34:31

Hi there mmmammma. It really wasn't as bad as I was expecting. The first two nights were difficult but not hellish. She cried for about 10 min for the first wakeups but I cuddled her back to sleep. She was then awake for over an hour at around 3am (when she's usually quite unsettled anyway) but it was more a case of her just not being able to fall back to sleep. She was quite happy to drink water after realising she wouldn't be getting any milk.

From the 3rd night she slept 4 hours at once, going up to 5 then 6.5 hours on one night! So the change was really immediate. For most wakeups she now just has a little water and a cuddle then goes back to sleep. She's also sleeping longer in the mornings. Previously with all the night feeds she was filling her nappy at 5am meaning I had to get up with her, whereas now the fact that her digestion has a break means she sleeps better and longer.

We're now 10 nights in and we've made huge progress already, with her spending the night in the cot and her doing long chunks of sleep. Last night she was awake every 1.5 hours again but I think she's teething, so I'm hoping we'll be back on track soon.

I was also considering doing a slower more gentle version of reducing feeds, but I'm
not sure that's of benefit to anyone. It's not clear to a baby why they get fed at some wakeups and not others. Consistency is important - night time is for sleeping and there's no milk!

I think mg little girl has now decided there's not much point waking up if she's not going to be fed. Also previously I ended up co-sleeping from around 11 pm as I didn't want her waking our toddler. However having a boob next to her face all night was probably encouraging her to keep waking up!

I hope that helps and I hope you find a way forward that works for you!

Sorry for sidetracking this thread!

Chosenbyyou Wed 08-Nov-17 21:07:37

Thank you for Your kind responses smile

Don't worry about hijacking - it's great to hear what is helping people.

I getting ready for another night of fun tonight lol xx

FortheloveofJames Thu 09-Nov-17 10:02:08

Im in the same boat, literally every other baby I come across is sleeping through the night, including one of my best friends baby who has slept 10-12 hours since 3 WEEKS OLD. I know it’s childish but I get green with jealously to the point I don’t want to go to groups. I knew I’d be tired with a baby but I never imagined sleep deprivation would be this awful. It’s not unusual for DS to be up 6 times or more on a really bad night. It’s devastating going to bed knowing you won’t be getting the rest you crave. My DS is exclusively BF but refuses to even take my milk from a bottle meaning I never get a break from him. In the beginning I loved feeding him but if I’m being honest I regret the decision slightly because he’s been such a terrible sleeper I know being able to share the night feeds would make my situation better without a doubt.

All I can say is hang in there you’re not alone and the people that brag are the worst type of people in my opinion- it’s not something i tired mum needs to hear. I’ve said to everyone not to ask me about DS sleep and I make it clear I don’t want to talk about it.

On the flip side, everyone has assured me that he will improve and in most cases babies that were not good sleepers have gone on to be great sleepers as toddlers and beyond.

Sending happy thoughts flowers

MrsBriteSide Thu 09-Nov-17 11:17:01

I could've written this post two weeks ago after baby group where everyone looked at me with a mix of sympathy and horror after I said my 6 month old doesn't sleep through and is often awake in the hour of 5am. I felt so upset and like I am somehow doing something wrong (which is silly because DD goes to sleep at night in her cot from being put down awake!).

Fast forward two weeks and for the first time she slept from 6.30pm to 5am two nights in a row! She's not since repeated that but is now regularly waking only once from a 6.30pm bedtime and is going back down until 6.30/7am.

So it can suddenly improve! People just have different ways of doing things and babies are all different. I have to keep reminding myself of that or I start to feel down as well. flowers

Chosenbyyou Thu 09-Nov-17 21:11:21

Forthe love of - thank you! I am similar - have very bad nights and then some not so bad but I feel very drained after 7 months with probably many more to come lol!

Mrsbrite - you give me hope, I would love a night of sleeping through, that would give me a little bit of hope! I'm not sure what I can do as he self settles, even after his night feed and he has a dummy. I could poss try to night wean as above poster has done but seven months might be a bit young? Gotta keep going thou and one day he will sleep!

Thanks for your support xx

LalaLeona Thu 09-Nov-17 21:23:08

Your baby is the normal one their's are unusual! So many women seem to see motherhood as a competition and I'm sure they are exaggerating how well their babies sleep. Of course some are great sleepers by this age but I reckon it's about 50/50. It sounds like you're doing a great job and it will get easier promise!

Changerofname987654321 Thu 09-Nov-17 21:28:33

Sounds like your little one sleeps like a baby.

The best thing with sleep is to just accept that it is a phase and your baby will sleep through when they are ready.

LazyDaisy6 Thu 09-Nov-17 21:38:28

What gets me is when I goto a group and someone is complaining about their baby waking once during the night... "He must be going through the 4 month sleep regression because he woke up for a feed at 3am last night" ... NO that's just because he's a baby and probably hungry!! Oh AND your '4 month sleep regression' is far better than my 'NORMAL'!!!
I think lots of people have very unrealistic expectations of babies! grin

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