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From cosleeping to cot

(12 Posts)
TwinkleStars15 Mon 06-Nov-17 10:00:38

Has anyone got any tips on how I can move away from cosleeping with a ebf baby? She’s 4.5 months and we’ve co slept since birth but she always goes down in her side cot initially, she used to do a good few hours in there but now she only does around 1 and wakes up and ends up in our bed. I love co sleeping but I’m not getting any sleep! She wakes every 2 hours for comfort but isn’t really hungry - do you think it’s because she can smell my milk so close to her? Also, we have a memory foam mattress and I’m worried it’s not good for her back? We’ve moved her big girl cot next to the bed as it has a much thicker mattress than her co sleeper and thought it would represent our bed a bit better. The other night she just wouldn’t settle in her cot initially so I put her down in our bed to get ready to feed her and she fell asleep instantly!

Do I just keep putting her back in her cot after every wake (where she has to feed to get back to sleep, even if it’s just a comfort feed).

Any idea how many nights/weeks it will take?

FATEdestiny Mon 06-Nov-17 11:12:32

You could take the side off your cot and make it a sidecar to your bed, to help her get used to it.

As for wanting co.fort through the night, yes she will need tgat got a long time to come. Could you introduce a way she can get comfort I depwndantly of you. The dummy is absolutely brilliant for this.

HopeAndJoy16 Mon 06-Nov-17 11:27:40

I spent a few nights just rigidly feeding to sleep then putting in the co sleeper, even if she woke straight away. You're not meant to but I rolled a towel into a u shape under the sheet as a makeshift nest so she felt more secure.
I also moved the co sleeper to the foot of the bed. This was after a stay at my PIL's where she was doing 5 hour stretches in a travel cot! She'd never gone longer than 2 in her bloody co sleeper! She's now in a cot at the foot of the bed, again I made a nest and spent a few nights being strict about putting her down in the cot. Not so strict now a few weeks down the line now I know she can do 3 hour stretches in there, sometimes for my sanity I bring her in to bed with us.
Good luck!

TwinkleStars15 Mon 06-Nov-17 15:31:59

fate she was in a cosleeper which was only 3 sides but this made no difference. The cot she’s now in has the side dropped down but I’m hoping the thicker mattress will help her feel more like she does in our bed. I’m more than happy to give her comfort during the night, she’s my little girl! But it would be great if she went back in her cot after her comfort feed and cuddle, rather than spending the whole night in with us. I’m also hoping it will help her sleep longer as I’m sure she can smell my milk laying right next to me.... I’m not keen on dummies to be honest, do you think a blanket/confort toy would work instead?

hope do you mean that you fed to sleep and then put her down, if she woke you’d put her straight back on the boob and repeat until she slept? We don’t have the room for her cot to be at the foot of the bed unfortunately.

Should I feed her and keep putting her back until she gets used to it?
Should I also put her down in it for daytime naps or does this not matter? At the moment she naps on me or in her car seat if we’ve been out.

crazycatlady5 Mon 06-Nov-17 16:29:25

sure she can smell my milk laying right next to me I don’t reslly believe in this tbh. I have a frequent walker and from about 5-7 months I kept getting up to put her back in her cot and she woke the same amount as when she was next to me in bed. We’ve moved house now so I’ve sidecarred the cot with one side off and it’s much better. She is now 9 months and chooses to scoot over when she’s finished feeding so I get the space in the bed and don’t have to keep getting up.

crazycatlady5 Mon 06-Nov-17 16:29:57

Frequent waker *

TwinkleStars15 Mon 06-Nov-17 16:30:54

Just need it her down for a nap next to me in bed, fed her to sleep but she woke after a couple of minutes and cried. I stroked her tummy and stayed with her and after 6 minutes she fell asleep. I had some white noise playing on my phone. Feels like an bloody achievement grin Baby steps.....

HopeAndJoy16 Mon 06-Nov-17 16:54:20

Yep I feed to sleep after every waking at night as it's the only thing that works atm. My next step is to get her to be happy with s cuddle/dummy if she's recently had a feed. I don't do daytime naps upstairs yet as she only sleeps for 30-40 mins at a time so might as well be downstairs so I can get something done!

And that sounds like progress today!

FATEdestiny Tue 07-Nov-17 16:20:55

do you think a blanket/confort toy would work instead?

At 4.5 months, no. As well as being a SIDS risk, baby wont have anywhere near the manual dexterity until the fine motor skills develop. You are looking for things like the pincer grip, passing objects from one hand to another, turning things over and around. These tend to develop around 9 montgs and are establ8ahed by around 12 months.

So until about the 1st birthday, comforters are just decoration. By all means introduce one so baby is used to it, but the comforting element is a long way off.

I’m not keen on dummies to be honest

It's not about you anymore though is it?

Dummies are tge only way youll get baby sleeping independantly without any crying. So either accept baby will cry to some degree, or follow more attachment parenting methods like feeding to sleep and cosleeping.

Dummies aee AMAZING.

The simplest no crying sleep solution. More fool you if you miss the opportunity to introduce such a simple way to comfort baby independantly. G

Joinourclub Tue 07-Nov-17 17:12:42

My dd has a dummy. Sadly she still does not sleep independently.

FATEdestiny Tue 07-Nov-17 17:27:59

Dummies are not a magic wand Joinourclub, but they are a frigging awesome to comfort off the breast without crying.

pipnchops Tue 07-Nov-17 19:39:17

DD was about 9 months when I decided I couldn't go on with co sleeping. My first step was to stop feeding her lying down, I would sit up and feed her and when she fell asleep I would put her in the cot next to our bed with the side down. And I just kept persevering with this every time she woke, although sometimes I was just too tired and would lie down to feed her and we'd end up co sleeping. It was very tiring and a long process over three months to get where we are now, she sleeps in her cot and even self settles without the boob. It's been a very gradual process though. Good luck.

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