Please help - I'm knackered!!

[newmum7369]

DS1 is 13 weeks old and from day 1 has been a great sleeper. Went down at about 9:30pm, woke around 3am for a feed, back to bed and then awake again at 6:30am. At around 2 months he dropped the night feed and was waking at around 5:30am, which then became his first feed of the day. I managed to stretch this out until 7am. All great.

For about the last 2 weeks he has been very disturbed throughout the night. He makes crying noises (but not full on crying) every 1-2 hours. I put his dummy in, put Ewan the sheep on and he resettles, but he'll be awake again in an hour or so, sometimes even only 2o minutes later! That goes on throughout the night, so I never get more than 2 hours at a time.

He's primarily formula fed with as much expressed breast milk as I can managed throughout the day. Always formula before bed and we make sure he has something before he goes down.

I wondered whether it's the 4 month sleep regression come early? Anyone got any ideas?!?!

[RoryItsSnowing]

My little one was the same a few weeks ago (now 16 weeks)- constant waking crying every hour. Somehow he just got through it and is more ir less back to normal, maybe just one cry at 5am and that's it. Hope you're soon out the other side

[crazycatlady5]

Look up the 4 month sleep regression it’s by far the most posted about thing on here! X

[knaffedoff]

Sorry but I don't think it's normal for a 13 week old to be sleeping through from 9-30on until 7am, that's not to say none will. However, your child appears to be waking and you are responding with shushing and a dummy. I would be offering milk instead !

[crazycatlady5]

I would be offering milk instead absolutely

[donkey86]

knaffed - just because the average baby doesn't sleep that long, it doesn't mean it's not normal or that something's wrong. My four week old went to sleep at 9 last night, woke for a feed at 2.30, and another at 6.30, so pretty similar to the pattern the op describes.

OP, maybe you do need to reinstate one of the feeds, but I wouldn't start offering milk all the time if he's managed fine before.

[donkey86]

Oh, maybe I misread - I thought he'd dropped the 5.30 but was still feeding at 3. If he's going straight from 9pm to 7am that does sound quite unusual.

[newmum7369]

Ah right ok, so maybe I should offer a feed when he first stirs in the night and see if that helps him.

Just to clarify, yes he dropped the night feed altogether so went through from 9:30 to 5:3am, then settled again until 7am. Sorry I didn't make that clear. He dropped the feed himself, plenty of wet/dirty nappies and gaining weight well, so I wasn't worried but maybe I should have been. This is my first baby and I thought I was doing well by getting a decent night's sleep! I should have known it was too good to be true!

[newmum7369]

Oh and thank you for all your speedy replies! Quite happy to reinstate the night feed, I just guessed that as he'd dropped it himself he didn't need it, as he's not desperate to be fed when he first wakes up either. Will give it a go tonight

[crazycatlady5]

Don’t worry OP! We’re all learning as we go. The truth is in the first year sleep goes up and down, it doesn’t just improve. 4 months and 8-10 months are particularly rough, and 6 months there is a growth spurt etc. The need for night feeds increases during all these times. Are you Bf or bottle feeding? If the latter perhaps one bottle will suffice.

[lornathewizzard]

OP I don’t think you were wrong not to be worried about sleeping right through, but I wouldn’t be surprised if DC goes back to needing night feed again. Everything can change so much when they’re tiny.
My DD went through a period of sleeping all night for a few weeks, probably around that age, but then went back to it and didn’t give up the night feed til about 9mo.
They’re all different

[ThisBabyIsAnOctopus]

Agree to give milk when he’s waking during the night.
Ps my 13week old is also a great sleeper- can go from 10-6 (and is ebf) - she’s a miracle baby! My first child (also bf) was completely different and fed every 1.5h for a year! I didn’t think babies who slept existed til I had this one. Agree it’s unusual but there’s no ‘standard’ for babies - completely normal to be up every 1.5h and completely normal to sleep through the night! Enjoy your sleep!

[newmum7369]

Thanks @crazycatlady5 it's all a bit trial and error isn't it!

[newmum7369]

Thanks all, I do feel bad thinking he was probably hungry and all I did was give him his dummy, but we'll try a different tactic tonight. He will think his Christmas's will have all come at once!

[FATEdestiny]

It's a good idea to always try the dummy first at every wake up. It gets baby used to the idea of settling without a feed from early on.

I have a 5 minutes / 45 minutes rule. As soon as baby wakes I would always give 5 minutes over to resettling with dummy. If not resettles within 5 mins, feed. If baby does settle within that 5 mins with the dummy (as is often the case) but then wakes again within 45 minutes, I wouldn't bother with the dummy at second wake znd would go straight to a feed.

[user1493413286]

It’s so difficult to know what to do for the best especially in the fog of lack of sleep. I tend to offer a feed then if DD wakes up again in the next 2 hours I know that she’s not hungry and can do other things.
Some babies go through a growth spurt at 12-14 weeks so it might be that and he could then drop the fees again once it’s finished

[newmum7369]

@FATEdestiny I quite like that idea, I'll try that tonight. He can go anywhere from 20 minutes to a couple of hours in between so that might help me decipher whether he is just unsettled or whether he actually wants something.

@user1493413286 it could definitely be a growth spurt, he's a big baby and is easily clearing 7oz bottles of formula now which I'm told is a lot for a 13 week old! I'm not sure why it hadn't occurred to me that he might be hungry, I guess because he's not ravenous in the mornings I presumed he was just fussing. It seems obvious now, I'll blame the sleepy fog!

[BerryBee]

Mine started the 4 month regression at about 15 weeks. I bf her if it had been more than 3 hrs since her last feed and otherwise tried other ways to resettle (shushing and rocking) first. It didn't last too long. After that she went back to feeding a couple of times a night till she self night weaned at about 6 months. Had a great few months..,until the 8,9,10 month stage where we are now!!

[knaffedoff]

How was your night Newmum?

[newmum7369]

Hi!

He didn't want to go down last night (unusual), got him settled at about 10:30 and he slept through until 3:30, so that was good. I fed him and he went down again at 4:30. After that he was just waking constantly, eventually I popped him in our bed and he settled for a bit longer. I hoped the night feed might solve it but I think maybe he's experiencing the regression early, unless maybe it's going to take a few nights of being fed at night to make him realise that he can settle again.

[lornathewizzard]

Sorry to hear not a great night, try the bottle for a few nights for sure. Things change so much. I had to give 15mo a bottle last night to settle him back down and he’s not had an overnight bottle for a few months

[newmum7369]

Right so we're not getting anywhere with the night feed!

DS has been up at least every hour if not more often. I've offered him milk at each waking. He's took 3oz before we put him down and he had a further 4oz after the second waking but now he's refusing. He will settle with dummy and white noise for half an hour to an hour m and then be awake again.

Im wondering whether it would help to try and feed him more often during the day. At the moment I feed on demand until he's full so there isn't a great deal of structure. Would I perhaps be better off offering him milk say every 2 hours and seeing how much he will take?

Or maybe I just have to ride it out? If so I might need to start co-sleeping as I've hardly slept a wink. It's my birthday today and I think I might let DH and DS go out for the lunch we were planning so I can stay home on my on and nap!

[newmum7369]

Sorry for the typos!

[crazycatlady5]

Definitely carry on as you are and ride it it. It’s a rough time for sure! But wing last too long x

[FATEdestiny]

Im wondering whether it would help to try and feed him more often during the day.

Definitely a good idea if you are formula feeding.

My 91st centile baby would have a full feed every 2h, sometimes every 90 minutes through the day at this age. You still on-demand feed, just set a "no longer than..." time. So offer a feed every 2h unless baby seems to be hungry before hand, in which case offer sooner.

[newmum7369]

A much better night last night 😊.

Put him down around 8, he woke at 12 and 3 for approx. 3oz feeds, then again at 6 for a 6 oz feed. Now he's gone down again.

@FATEdestiny can I just ask you a couple of questions please? When you say your baby had a full feed, do you just mean that you fed until full or as per the guidelines on the formula tub? If your baby was sleeping once the 2 hour limit was up would you wake for a feed or leave to sleep?

Thanks everyone for all your really helpful responses.