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Please help desperate for sleep after 5 months

(16 Posts)
Needsleep123 Mon 30-Oct-17 04:01:14

I have a 5 and a half month old. The longest he had ever slept at night was 2 hrs around 2/3 months old. He is now waking every 40-90 min every night. I co sleep and bf but i have a bad back and co sleeing aggrevates it so try to transfer him to the next to me then he just wakes up after a very short time. Tried a bedtime routine but it didn't work so have been doing wash/change clothes etc at 645 put into sleeping bag then feed in front of tv in dark room on and off until he sleeps then i go to bed too normally around 8. I do this as it's my only evening. I have a 3yr old so get no daytime rest. I try expressing so hubby can do a feed but it doesn't buy me much time maybee 2 hrs but i struggle to get to sleep sometimes so it can be wasted. Exptessing is also difficult and sometimes i dint get enough time.
I can't go on like this. I've bought formula but haven't given it yet not sure if it will make a difference and don't want to ruin my ability to bf. Tonight we put him in a cot away from us in case we are disturbing him but he still is waking all the time. I got so desperate i tried cio but he got so distressed even tho we went back in every 5 min that i gave up after 1hr 20. H e screamed so much i feel so guilty.
Im starting to feel so ill from lack of sleep. I also feel like our bond is being affected by it as it's so emotionally draining.
Please help any ideas/experiences.

crazycatlady5 Mon 30-Oct-17 07:00:08

Bless you, I’m so sorry it’s so hard. I have a frequent waker but I must say 5 months for me was ROUGH. I assume he doesn’t have a dummy? It may be too late but you could try? Mine won’t take one.

No other advice but solidarity flowers

thegirlupnorth Mon 30-Oct-17 07:03:20

I would try a bottle of formula and also look at solids, he's either hungry or feeding for comfort. If it's comfort perhaps as other poster says a dummy might help, if he's hungry a formula bottle may help. I'd gradually stop co sleeping too, you need to be fit and well first and foremost. Good luck.

LapinR0se Mon 30-Oct-17 07:12:01

Are you feeding him til he’s asleep then transferring him to his cot?

43percentburnt Mon 30-Oct-17 07:22:56

Can you lay on your side to feed him? Maybe use a support pillow tucked up behind you? With DS he would latch on whilst I slept.

crazycatlady5 Mon 30-Oct-17 07:25:34

@43percentburnt yep this is what I did, made a huge difference

chloechloe Mon 30-Oct-17 08:20:23

It's exhausting isn't it. I have 2 under 2.5 and the 10mo was awake 8-10 times a night too, but has recently improved.

I get the impression that you're feeding to sleep? If so, I think that's the first thing you need to work on, so the baby is going to sleep without a boob. Otherwise she'll be looking for it every time she rouses at the end of a sleep cycle.

MrsBriteSide Mon 30-Oct-17 08:30:38

A dummy was a game changer for me as my DD was using my boob for comfort. Might be a bit late to introduce at this age though. I'm not sure...

I gave DD formula one night at about four months and it didn't make her sleep any longer at all.

Can someone mind your 3 year old and baby while you have a daytime nap? Just 30 mins to an hour would give you a new lease of life I'm sure. You need to catch up on sleep somehow.

FATEdestiny Mon 30-Oct-17 09:51:14

I co sleep and bf but i have a bad back and co sleeing aggrevates it so try to transfer him to the next to me then he just wakes up after a very short time

If you want baby sleeping in the cot, he needs to go from awake to asleep in the cot.

If you want to feed to sleep while cosleeping, baby would sleep better if he stayed there all night.

Needsleep123 Mon 30-Oct-17 13:50:05

Thanks for the replies. I do feed to sleep. I have tried putting him down when still slightly awake and he just searches for the boob and completely wakes up. He is very highly strung and will scream until fed despite patting shushing etc.i think im going to try formula tonightand i let him have some food today. I think in going to go back to cosleeping with a pillow wedged for me as I'm just to excausted to try to get him to settle by himself as at least with the cosleeping i could get some sleep even if it's broken. Last night was just horrific for both of us.

JustPutSomeGlitterOnIt Mon 30-Oct-17 14:15:40

I'd do formula or baby rice before bed, and/or dummy.

Cawanaka Mon 30-Oct-17 14:29:12

I feel for you so much. I had this with my first. I was driven totally insane, hearing voices and hallucinating etc. Just awful poor you.

Can you tell us a bit about his daytime sleep? And what was it like with your 3yo and how does he/she sleep now? Are you not getting nursery hours?

The thing that jumped out to me I'm afraid is you saying 'otherwise I don't get an evening'. You need to let go of the idea of having an evening. Awful as it is you won't crack this unless you go through a bit of pain.

Needsleep123 Mon 30-Oct-17 15:16:15

By an evening i mean watch one programme on tv whilst feeding him. Im normally in bed by 8. It's not really an evening but that's what i call it. Maybe i need to stop doing that but sometimes it's the only nice thing I've done all day.....im thinking maybe the bed time routine isn't really good enough as it is literally change him wash and put in sleeping bag.
He normally had one big nap around midday of between 1-2 hrs in his buggy or car seat if we have been out. Then shorter naps maybe 2 to 3 of between 5 min to 30 min. He will go off on the buggy or car without feeding but never at home. I tried today to get him to nap without feeding but he got very distressed and just wouldn't go off. I put him down sleepy but bit asleep from a feed and he just wake himself up from crying. Eventually after going the whole morning without a nap i fed him and he went to sleep.
I knew its a sleep association but i can't seem to get him to sleep any other way unless he just gets himself into such a state he passes out from excaustion but that's not an option.
My 3 yr old does preschool in the mornings and a full day on wed.

EightyNine Mon 30-Oct-17 19:05:09

I feel for you, my DS1 was similar to this. You will get through it and you will cope.

Definitely helped my DS1 when I was able to fill him with baby porridge and banana before bed. Don't be tempted to do too much too soon though, especially near bedtime as it could lead to an even more disturbed night!

Really hope it works out for you soon.

KatnissK Mon 30-Oct-17 19:23:52

Have you tried white noise? I play it on spotify or YouTube - there are loads of different sounds to try. The one that works best for my 4.5 mo is the static sound. I tend to start playing it during the bedtime feed. It needs to be quite loud to be effective I've found. I then leave it on all night next to the moses basket. It has really helped us - my lb was waking every 1-2 hours and he will now go 3-4. Good luck!

MrsBriteSide Mon 30-Oct-17 20:36:39

I second the white noise suggestion. It helps my DD go to sleep and I play it for all naps (at home) so she associates the sound with sleep. She doesn't need it to keep going to stay asleep but I'm sure if your baby likes it you could try keeping it playing all night to see if it helps him to stay asleep a bit longer. It's good at blocking out noises which can disturb them.

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