Dreaded bedtime routine questions about 10mo breastfed baby!

[Itslittlek]

Hey everyone,

I wondered if I could get a general gauge of people's experiences and opinions on this topic that I'm sure everyone has their gripes with.

Our almost 10 month old has some nights where when it's nearing bedtime she gets so scratchy, arms waving, legs kicking and over hyped at the slightest thing. You can't really read her books or anything and just exhibits classic over tired behaviour and incredibly difficult to settle.

Our routine goes....these things happen in the same order at roughly the same time: dinner, bath, quiet play and then bed. Put it this way, it's not rigid in time to the minute but it follows a pattern around her day time sleeping...which is also very hit and miss haha! But I do try get her into the zone of quietness but she requires being fed to sleep.

How many people have tried to instigate a strict routine and not found it to actually never work?

How many people have just seen these problems iron themselves out?

How many attribute this energy to developmental stuff and teething etc (for example she is currently on the cusp of crawling)

Also, I am breastfeeding her a lot as she is really not that fussed about food yet. I am of the opinion that breastfeeding is the most important thing of all currently so I am not looking to night ween her or reduce feeds.

Sometimes nights go kind of smooth but like tonight (which is probably why I thought to come on here to get some advice) it makes me feel like I'm not getting it right somehow.

She is a very happy, confident, smiling and cheery baby!

Any chat/ideas/stories welcome!

Thanks x

[LadyMarmyLard]

My 11month ds goes down sometime between 6 and 7pm (doesn’t always go to sleep straight away but this is bedtime!)

He went through a rough patch a month or two ago but the health visitor said they go through big developmental changes between the 9-13 month age because they are learning to talk/walk/crawl and growing teeth!

I’d say keep doing what you’re doing. It’s good that you’ve got a routine, she’ll settle into it.

[Itslittlek]

Thanks ladymarmylard for your reply. Yes sometimes it does seem like it's being driven from a force within like she just can not switch off coz of the brain activity. But like I say there is only so much you can do. I don't sit her infront of action movies until 9pm and expect her to sleep on her own!

Daytimes I just try to offer her sleep when it seems appropriate, not so scripted to time. But she does resist it a lot and doesn't emotionally derail....she can just go on and on in the day happily!

Best wishes :)

[mrsdane]

My 11 month old DD is similar. I have to feed her to sleep to get her off for the night at the moment, am keen to stop bf and I just don't know how to do it.

The only thing that calms her in the night at the moment is bf. I absolutely agree, its the brain activity that prevents baby from calming and falling asleep.

[Itslittlek]

This is still very much ongoing if anyone has further input? Xx

[koalab]

My DD is breastfed and 11months. Our evening routine after her last nap is play, solid food (sometimes won't eat much), play, bath with Daddy, dressed for bed then feed to sleep. I used to read to her after bath but she is too tired for it these days.
She is generally asleep between 7 and 7.30 but I'm not strict on this. I just watch out for her tired signs. To get to sleep for 7 we would do solids at 5-5.30ish and bath time from 6.15ish.

[koalab]

I should add that the last week or so i have managed to stop feeding to sleep in the day. I'm happy to carry on at bed time for now but sometimes she stops feeding, plays with her blanket a bit while I lie next to her and then falls asleep (this is a fait recent thing).

[teaandbiscuitsforme]

My 10mo does not suit books before bed - he just wants to get straight on with feeding and sleeping. My DD always had a couple of books by this age but they’re all different and if she’s getting hyped up, I’d ditch them and try again in a few months. Same goes for baths, some people find that a bath can make their DC hyper and they’re better in the day.

Our routine is something like this:

• Dinner about 17:30-17:45
• Last play whilst I clean up
• Upstairs by about 18:15. I normally have washing to put away then we brush teeth and into the bath
• DH normally comes home at some point to take over with my toddler (and let me nip to the loo!) and then I take DS into our room (blackout blind up), into sleeping bag and feed to sleep.

I love feeding to sleep because it’s calm, it’s quiet, it’s dark and he’s lying down - perfect conditions for going to sleep!

How many naps is she having now? Because more daytime sleep is still key to prevent overtiredness and difficult bedtimes.

[LazyDaisy6]

We generally follow this routine for our 8mo:
5/5.30pm dinner (puree/picky bits anything I can get down him )
6pm bath

Then in this order:
-nappy and quick massage (currently trying the Lush Sleepy cream It doesn't work! )
-breastfeed (still just in nappy)
-into baby grow and sleeping bag with dummy
-story (the same story EVERY night - its very quick)
-white noise on, lights off
-quick cuddle and down in cot with hand on his chest (mainly to stop him rolling over and rocking on all fours/crawling/pulling himself up)

However i'm quite flexible with it and if he is tired I will:
-start bedtime routine earlier
-skip the bath
-skip the massage (if he starts crying when I'm putting his nappy on after bath we skip it)

It is in NO WAY perfect however a lot better than we used to be. My next move is moving the BF to before bath...

[LazyDaisy6]

Oh and our daytime naps are all over the place - always have been. He's currently at that stage of sometimes having 2 and sometimes 3. I don't let him sleep after 4.30 though and we aim for asleep by 7pm.

[Itslittlek]

Thanks for the replies.

So our evenings are pretty much the same, daytime naps are definitely the weak spot at the moment.

I think in the last week or so I have noticed her slightly just coming off the boob and rolling to the other side to doze off so she seems to of done that on her own which is a bit of natural progression.

Trying to just keep going with the flow as much as possible as that is definitely what I feel is right, most instinctive. And not all days are perfect are they.

Books have actually helped a bit the last couple of days, seem to of gotten her into a calmer mood with eye rubbing afterwards.

It's just keeping the long view in site isn't it that everything changes and slowly goes in the right direction.....gradually! x

[Itslittlek]

Also I meant to add that I don't know if others have this experience, she does seem to give off the cues sometimes and I will try to get her to sleep but she then really doesn't go for the sleep. Then continues for another hour or even 2 very happily. She does seem to have stamina.

It's like sometimes the cues are there but they mean nothing, and I certainly do my best to set the scene for sleep but what can you do if they don't take it! haha

Lots of friends say about their babies being a nightmare if they are overtired, so I count us very lucky that isn't our daily experience. I guess everyone is born somewhere on a scale of being able to settle themselves and as parents you have to just nurture that....whilst keeping your own sanity whilst trying to!

[koalab]

Yes sometimes I pick up in the sleep cues but she won't sleep. I generally blame teething or a developmental leap for it. My DD generally has 2 naps a day now but sometimes one long one suits her better.

[RockinRobinTweets]

At 10 months I think that meal times make a routine happen.

I'd go for 7am wake up and milk
8am breakfast
9am nap
10.30 wake up
1pm lunch
1.30 nap
3pm wake up and milk
5pm dinner
6.30 pjs, milk, teeth then up to bed, book (the same one), cuddle and into bed wide awake.

I'd then settle in the cot. No lights or eye contact, just your presence.

Creating the distance between the milk and the sleeping by doing teeth and a book afterwards are good sleepy signs.

Repeat how you put down for day naps to reflect, in a shorter way, the bedtime routine at night.

[April45]

We're very similar too- DS is nearly 10months, our routine goes:
5.15 tea
Then play
6.15 bath
Downstairs for story and bf
Then dh takes DS upstairs to put to bed.

The end of our routine is new with feeding him downstairs and dh putting him down and it works much better (well apart from when teething!)

The following wake ups in the night we're still working on though as he will scream and scream until fed.

[Itslittlek]

For those of you who don’t feed to sleep, how did you begin that process of weening off that feed? Even if we do the same things at the same time in the evening they still vary a lot, last night was asleep already by this time....tonight, practically doing cartwheels!

[RockinRobinTweets]

I think the trick to not feeding to sleep any more is to make it impossible. Commit to a week of doing the same timings all day.

Feeding downstairs and then moving upstairs for the remainder of the routine creates enough different signs

[Itslittlek]

I’ve always just found it’s the only thing to really calm her enough to go to sleep. I’ve never really questioned it before as it seems the most natural way for her to sleep but as she is getting older it’s made me think. I know it would be incredibly hard to change it currently so I don’t know when the best time to pick is. Friends have all done it when they are older, eating more solids and usually involve Dads and like you say, a week is all it takes.