Baby won't sleep !!

[Rya2710]

Hello:-) I posted this on another group but didn't get a reply. I have a six month old daughter who is an absolute angel during the day but come night time it's a different story. When I first had her the hospital messed up big time so she didn't sleep in a crib because I couldn't stand and lean over a crib to lift her. Unfortunately she's now used to co sleeping. I breastfeed her to sleep and she goes to sleep no problem. But as soon as I try to lay her down she screams and screams. She is also teething and waking up every hour and now waking at 4:30 am and refusing to go back to sleep which is making each day longer and harder. It's really starting to make me feel like a failure because I just can't get her to sleep on her own at all. Even nap times during the day I have to hold her because she'll wake up if I lay her down. My partner does try to help but he works from 7am-10pm every night and by the time he gets a day off (rarely) she's forgotten who he is so won't settle with him. I feel very alone in it all because whilst I'm off work with her I don't talk to or see anyone so don't have anyone to help me get her to sleep. Does anyone please have any tips??? I'm feeling like the biggest failure ever:-(

[Theducksarenotmyfriends]

So she's falling asleep in your arms as you feed her then you try to lay her down and she wakes? Have you tried feeding her lying down and you just rolling away?

Also is the room she's sleeping in completely pitch black? I found that made a big difference when my dd kept waking at 5am.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Does she fall asleep in the pram?

I agree with feeding her lying down and then rolling away once she's fast asleep. That's what I did/do with both of mine. They get better at sleeping on their own as they get older and my 5 year old has slept on his own in his room since he was 2 so it doesn't last forever!

[crazycatlady5]

Feed her lying down and sneak off as PP says, put a video monitor on so you can watch if she rolls. She’s used to cosleeping because it feels normal and wonderful to be near her mama you and the hospital haven’t messed up x

[ElphabaTheGreen]

Nobody ‘messed up’. You have a perfectly normal baby. Some babies are developmentally ready to sleep apart from their mothers from early on, some are not. Yours is one of the ones that is not. So, contrary to the title of your post, your baby does actually sleep fine, just not separately from you. Which, once again, is developmentally normal, and nobody’s fault. Both of mine needed to sleep pinned to me until around 18mo. They are both now completely independent through-the-night sleepers. Just as children walk and talk at different times, so they sleep independently at different times.

Easiest route for you is going to be to co-sleep until she’s ready to sleep apart from you (I would suggest once she’s over 12mo, which seems like an eternity now, but it honestly isn’t). Feed to sleep in situ on the bed next to you, then edge away slightly, then feed to sleep while lying down for night wakings. Anything else is going to result in a shit-ton of screaming that may only result in her becoming clingier. I made the grave error of trying multiple rounds of CC and even CIO with my first - it made him worse, and I’m sure it’s why he’s terrified of the dark now at 5yo. I just let no. 2 co-sleep with me until he was ready for a very gradual withdrawal at around 14mo, and he has always had by far the healthier relationship with sleep of the two.

[Rya2710]

By the hospital messed up I meant with me when I was in labour. They didn't deliver my placenta properly and left it inside me for weeks which caused infection and made me really poorly, because of this I couldn't stand so put her in bed with me, I wasn't blaming the hospital for my baby not sleeping on her own. I've tried feeding laying down and she will unlatch and then sleep I just worry because now she can roll I don't like having her in my bed X

[crazycatlady5]

@Rya2710 do you have a bedguard? I got one for about £30 from Argos. The other side is her cot with the side off so if she was to roll that way she would just roll into the cot. I have a video monitor on when she is on her own and have it right in front of me when I’m in the other room so I can see as soon as she stirs and is possibly about to roll x

[Rya2710]

That's a really good idea I didn't think of a bed guard! I'll have a look for one, thank you xxx

[AssassinatedBeauty]

We do the same as @crazycatlady5.

[crazycatlady5]

Good luck mama x

[Theducksarenotmyfriends]

We had a normal cot with the side down pushed up to the bed (with a bed bridge to plug the gap between our mattress and hers). I half lay on her cot to feed to sleep then rolled away to my bed so she had her own safe space. Plus she got used to sleeping in that cot.

[FATEdestiny]

With a sidecar cot, as described above, you could feasibly feed her to sleep in the cot and sneek away once asleep. That at least gets her used to going to sleep lying on the cot mattress.