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Won't nap unless held

(34 Posts)
AMagdalena Thu 19-Oct-17 14:41:01

My DD is 12 weeks on Sunday.
She has only napped when held ever since birth. She's not a great sleeper in general, to be honest, but is capable of doing a 5-6 hr stretch in her cot.
When I try and trasnfer her into the pram, she immediately wakes. This is an improvment, though as she used to instantly scream blue murder at every attempt of doing so. She will now happily lay awake in the pram for a while.

She's EBF and I feed to sleep pretty much all the time, but she has fallen asleep with a dummy when rocked a few times.
I have try to lay her down awake/drowsy. She screams within 10s (she doesn't just fuss, she actually screams with face red etc.) and she's too young for any sort of CC etc.

Her naps very rarely last longer than 45mins, too. I try and send her to sleep before signs of tiredness appear.

Is there any hope for us to make her naps last longer and perhaps not on me all the time? I don't mind as such, but if she's only managing 45mins, then it's not really helping that much.

HipToBeSquare Thu 19-Oct-17 14:43:42

dd2 napped in her rocking (vibrating chair) until she was 4 or 5 months old, basically until I'd got her into a regularly napping time.

Best money I spent on that chair!

AMagdalena Thu 19-Oct-17 14:46:02

Is it onw of those that rock on their own?
We have rocking/vibrating chair and I have tried to rock her to sleep, but DD thinks it's hillarious!

crazycatlady5 Thu 19-Oct-17 14:47:52

Mine was like this for about the first 4 months - I now lie with her for naps and usually sneak away when she’s asleep (she’s 9 months) x

AMagdalena Thu 19-Oct-17 14:50:35

crazycatlady so there is hope for me! Do you feed to sleep? This is something that worries me slightly for the future when I go back to work.

littledinaco Thu 19-Oct-17 14:51:15

A lot of them will only nap being held at this age. They do grow out of it and will let you put them down as they get older or rock to sleep in the pram.

Some people persevere with getting them to fall asleep without being held (rock in bouncy chair/pram, get them falling asleep in cot). I just let mine sleep on me while they needed to (did use a sling sometimes if needed to get things done). As mine got older, I still fed to sleep but then they would let me put them down. If I didn't have to do anything though, I would keep them on me and enjoy the rest/cuddles!

Lots of short naps is normal. Also 5-6 hour stretch in cot is quite good too smile

HipToBeSquare Thu 19-Oct-17 14:53:22

yes that's the one AM, sorry it's not working for you. It was a life-saver for me as it meant I could nap when she was.

crazycatlady5 Thu 19-Oct-17 14:56:13

I do feed to sleep. When she’s a year old I’ll be going back to work and I’ll work around that then. I think there are far too many books and things out there to worry us about bad habits smile it’s a super quick way of getting mine to sleep also!

littledinaco Thu 19-Oct-17 15:02:56

Don't worry about feeding to sleep. Whoever looks after her will manage getting her to sleep when you go back to work. Just do what works best for now, don't worry about what might work best in the future.
You won't teach her 'bad habits' or 'make a rod for your own back' or anything like that!

hiimmumma Thu 19-Oct-17 15:06:10

Mine did this until 7months.
All I can say is that I really enjoyed it. Get a flask or tea ready, go to the loo, get a box set on the go and enjoy the snuggles.

Now mine naps in the cot I don't have an excuse to get out of the housework!

hiimmumma Thu 19-Oct-17 15:06:57

Also he still feeds to sleep and I transfer into the cot after the feed. He is 13months!

AMagdalena Thu 19-Oct-17 15:21:11

I really don't mind the naps (I have a 'nursing statiom' set up, so I have everything I need) or the feeding to sleep for now, so I suppose I will go with the flow.
I have noticed DD gets overtired when we go out for a longer while, though. She won't sleep much in the pram; she's a busy baby and wants to take everything in!
The only thing that worries me is going back to work as my working hours wouldn't work round the baby's routine, necessarily.
We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, I suppose ;)

Thank you for the reassuring comments.

amelie427 Thu 19-Oct-17 16:13:43

My boy was exactly like this. Now at 6 months, a nap on me is a rare treat for me. Now he struggles to get comfy in my arms and I have to put him down. I really miss the cuddles!

RandomMess Thu 19-Oct-17 16:20:08

Stop feeding her to sleep, I did PUPU at this age but that did mean picking up as soon as unhappiness started, not letting screaming happen!

perfectpanda Thu 19-Oct-17 16:38:44

I do a bit of both. Have shushed and patted for some naps in cot and sometimes he feefs to sleep and sleeps on me. I'm very glad to have the option and with all my 3 dc I have persevered to get them napping in cot. But unless you use dummy they usually cry at first but I just lie next to them to comfort. All 3 have got the hang of it, the girls quicker than the boy! Also, if you can settle them with patting, I manage to extend some naps by patting back to sleep.

mrsfee Thu 19-Oct-17 16:48:33

My 16mo is still breastfed to sleep at night and for some naps. Otherwise he's rocked either in arms or rocking chair. He will be shushed in his cot but usually after he's fallen asleep with a full tummy and stirred when put down, if that makes sense. I figure I've got this far so may as well wait until he can understand more.

He's at nursery one full and one half day, usually three sleeps, and his dad has him on a Sunday while I work.

Lozmatoz Thu 19-Oct-17 17:09:43

Get her to a baby osteopath, they work wonders!

teaandbiscuitsforme Thu 19-Oct-17 21:16:58

How old will she be when you go back to work? Will she be going to a nursery? If so, I really wouldn’t worry because they’re normally miracle workers who very quickly figure out what the child needs in order to get to sleep. Definitely cross this bridge a later stage and enjoy the feeding and napping stage that you’re in now.

Frazzled2207 Fri 20-Oct-17 14:33:40

Mine were like this. Attached to me for months! Yes it does eventually get better. Keep trying to put her down in the cot-
As she gets older she will (need to) sleep more deeply and she’ll get the hang of it. 45m is very common-we managed to extend it by waking baby up just before the 45m and rocking in arms a bit before putting back down for another 45! After a bit of that he regularly napped for 1.5hours +.

Nuggysmummy Fri 20-Oct-17 15:37:52

I had the same issue with naps, dd would only nap if being held and would not sleep in cot or Moses basket. I was worried until I took her into work and one of my colleagues told me her daughter never sleeps on her anymore and she missed it. I just embraced it, after that she started falling asleep on her play gym and then when I knew her cues started putting her in her cot and from about 5 months she has been napping three times a day in her cot and I am missing her going to sleep on me! She never does it anymore, so hold on in there it does pass

bluebellsparklypants Fri 20-Oct-17 16:28:26

It was the same for us, they will get better over time with napping by themselves. They just need the reassurance of you being there to start with it's all they have ever known it will be a gradual thing then your miss it!

Rkep Fri 20-Oct-17 18:00:17

May sound excessive but if you warm the cot up with a water bottle then the transfer will be seamless - the only thing that worked for our two.

UpYaKilt Fri 20-Oct-17 21:30:13

Feeling your pain, we had this. It did improve eventually, only to be replaced with the next sleep issue....
To take your mind off things, this made me giggle today :-) : www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/self-soothing-is-bollocks-says-baby-20171015137482

crazycatlady5 Fri 20-Oct-17 22:50:42

Omg @UpYaKilt that is brilliant grin

ImADingleDangleScarecrow Fri 20-Oct-17 22:53:43

My DD was like this until about 8 months old. Then suddenly she’d obly fall asleep if she was left to her own devises to toss and turn around the cot. She’s 15 months now and can’t bear being held to fall asleep! She will grow out of it most likely. I think it’s pretty standard at that age OP.

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