Sleep apnoea - DP and newborn

[BabyOrSanta]

I don't know if anyone has been through this before but just want some thoughts on this?

DP has sleep apnoea. Has a CPAP machine which really works when he uses it but if he naps or falls asleep without it on, he's still very apnoea-y, holding his breath, really struggling to get air in and thrashing etc.

Obviously the ideal is that he wears it every time he sleeps but it doesn't always happen.

I know that baby sleeping in the same room as mum is best practice, one reason being that the baby can hear you breathe and therefore remembers to breathe etc and I also know that some babies suffer from sleep apnoea.

My question is, if the baby forgets to breathe and DP hasn't got his mask on/he's having a bad mask-on night, will the baby be more affected by his breathing? Especially as DP will probably be tired which will make his breathing worse.

At the moment, we have one room and one bed but am hoping that, in the next 10 weeks, we will have 2 rooms so that I can sleep in with the baby and he can snore and gasp away to his heart's content (I plan on bf and DP will take the baby in the day so that I can sleep and he can do house stuff, I'm no martyr!)

[TerrifyingFeistyCupcake]

I'm not sure I quite understand your question, but I don't think your partner's sleep apnoea will affect your baby in any way. I think you're thinking of the theory that, should the baby experience the rare error in brainstem function that sometimes causes them to stop breathing for no reason, the noise of someone else breathing in the room helps stimulate them to keep breathing too?
Please don't worry. SIDS is rare and as long as your partner IS breathing, that would be fine.

[BabyOrSanta]

Sorry, through all my rambling I guess my question got lost!

That is exactly what I was thinking though! Thank you!
He is breathing (and very loudly...) so I guess that is a good thing!

How common is it that babies do stop breathing? I think I may have been reading the Doom and Gloom Guide to Parenting rather than the Puppies and Rainbows Guide so I may be overthinking this as, looking around, it seems quite common? But, as I said, it could be what I have been reading skewing my view.

Also, is there anything I can do to monitor it (in a Moses basket) except staring at the baby all night?

[TerrifyingFeistyCupcake]

It's rare. If you don't smoke and baby sleeps on back, very rare.

Assuming your baby is healthy, generally follow safe sleep guidelines, including baby having all their sleeps in the same room as an adult, and you should be fine.

[TerrifyingFeistyCupcake]

Don't stay up all night staring at baby!!! It's an understandable temptation for FTMs, but you need all the sleep you can get. Sleep properly in a bed when you have the chance, so you don't do something risky like falling asleep with baby in a chair.

[TerrifyingFeistyCupcake]

PS. Before someone else mentions them, there are monitors that purport to monitor breathing. They tend to give a lot of false alarms and there is no evidence that they prevent SIDS or improve outcomes - and besides, a healthy baby with a mother following basic sleep guidelines simply doesn't need one, because they are in with you anyway. The principal effect of a monitor like that is probably to uselessly increase your own anxiety.

[BabyOrSanta]

When I get it my first kitten, I stayed up most of the night to make sure she was still breathing... although it only happened the one night so I'm hoping, if I do, exhaustion will overcome me and my insanity with baby!

I have seen the sleep pad things but I do think they would make my anxiety much worse and it will also impact my sleep (I'm a person who needs a certain amount of sleep to function pre-baby!).

I think that the impact placed on SIDS doesn't always help although I do plan on following all the guidelines I can.

Thank you so much for your help and support