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Very worried about 9week old lack of sleep.

(19 Posts)
Nainer123 Sun 15-Oct-17 17:41:24

Looking for advice or reassurance. My 9 week old baby wont nap during the day. Some days are better than others but today gor example he's maybe napped an hour all day. I've tried everything. Feeding him to sleep, rocking him, having him on me using a sling, dark room no noise, livingroom with background noise, white noise. Nothing seems to work. He is very tired he cries and runs his eyes. And I try and get him off to sleep he fights it I try for hours it's exhausting. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. He sleeps well during the night (finger crossed this lasts) used to go down between 8.30-9pm now goes down around 7ish I think because he is so tired from not napping. We go through to the room, he gets fed (he's breastfed) falls asleep and Wales maybe 2-3 times per night for feed. Longest stretch is usually around 4 or 5 hours after he falls asleep he wakes to feed then every 2-3 hours after that.

I'm struggling to get him to sleep during the day and I'm really worrying about it as I know he needs naps to help with his development.

Oh and he HATES to be swaddled. He cries and wiggles about tryi g to kick the blanket off. Any suggestions?!

Nainer123 Sun 15-Oct-17 17:42:29

I should also add that of I do manage to get him off to sleep most of the time he ends up waking 5 - 10 mins later

TittyGolightly Sun 15-Oct-17 17:43:59

How are you getting him off to sleep and what happens afterwards?

cestlavielife Sun 15-Oct-17 17:44:59

If he doesn't like being swaddled don't swaddled him !
Some like it so e don't.
He is still little.
4 or 5 hours at night is goid.
Don't fret about his development or force a nap if he doesn't want to.
Look at colic/reflux/pain address those if needs be.

PotteringAlong Sun 15-Oct-17 17:45:00

Does he sleep on you? Eat and sleep at the same time? That counts. Do you mean an hour in total or one session of an hour and lots of catnaps?

What happens in the pram or the car?

PotteringAlong Sun 15-Oct-17 17:45:43

And yes, don't swaddle him if he hates it! Have you tried him in a sleeping bag?

Nainer123 Sun 15-Oct-17 17:46:18

It depends sometimes he sleeps after i feed him and sometimes rocking him while gently shhhing in his ear. On a good day he will sleep for an hour or so on a bad like today is a couple of minutes. He won't sleep unless on me, being cuddled ECT. Then he wakes

PotteringAlong Sun 15-Oct-17 17:48:14

So are you putting him down and that's why he wakes?

PotteringAlong Sun 15-Oct-17 17:49:03

So are you putting him down and that's why he wakes?

Nainer123 Sun 15-Oct-17 17:49:12

I don't swaddled him. Haven't for weeks since realising there was no point he doesn't like it. I mention it as I know it seems to be one of the things people suggest. Bad day like today sleeps for an hour in total. On and off 10 mins here 20 mins there. Good days an hour or so at once.

Nainer123 Sun 15-Oct-17 17:49:50

No I don't try and put him down until he's in a deep sleep. He just wakes.

ElizabethShaw Sun 15-Oct-17 17:54:30

He's probably very overtired which doesn't help. Can you dedicate a few days to nothing but napping? When he wakes in the morning start getting him back to sleep after no more than an hour, spend the day feeding and holding etc. Hopefully once he is more rested he'll be more able to fall and stay asleep.

Nainer123 Sun 15-Oct-17 17:58:29

He's definetly over tired. Our usual morning consists of getting up changing nappy feeding, playing talking ECT the minute he yawns rubs his eyes or shows signs of being tired I try get him off to sleep. It's easier in the mornings to get him off for a nap as the day goes on it gets harder.

PotteringAlong Sun 15-Oct-17 18:43:18

Do you need to put him down? Assuming he's your first baby, if he's asleep on you could you not just hold him whilst he naps?

FATEdestiny Sun 15-Oct-17 19:03:34

I don't swaddled him. Haven't for weeks since realising there was no point he doesn't like it

It would seem nothing is working effectively to get baby to sleep. So I wouldn't discount the swaddle, just like I wouldn't discount the other techniques you have tried. They all need consistency, swaddle and everything else - that means continuing through the crying to get baby sleeping. Or get baby suck8ng instead of crying.

On that note - have you tried a dummy?

A baby not sucking (feeding or dummy) is likely to cry to some degree going to sleep. So if your basis of a method not working is that baby cries and going to sleep is hard work, it or nay just be that your expectations of how baby goes to sleep were out rather than anything not working.

He cries and wiggles about tryi g to kick the blanket off

So I would see this as a very clear sign baby does need a swaddle. Some babies need active help to still and physically calm down. My indication of baby not needing/wanting a swaddle is that baby can easily go to sleep without it so served no purpose. And distress in going to sleep, then womb like conditions (swaddle, dark, white noise, rhythmic swaying) and something to suck (naturally soothing sucking reflex) would be my go-to.

It's easier in the mornings to get him off for a nap as the day goes on it gets harder

That's because he is less over tired in the morning. Babies are usually harder to get to sleep the more over tired they are.

My suggestions would be:

- don't move baby once asleep. So don't put baby down once asleep. Either get baby to go to sleep lying down (dummy useful for this, or cosleep and feed lying down) or let baby sleep in your arms, pushchair, bouncer, wherever going to sleep.

- Dummy. Dummies are the single best tool for no crying sleep.

- limit awake time between naps to about an hour in the daytime.

- Feed, Feed, Feed. Not necessarily feeding to sleep, but lots of big feeds per day to maintain plentiful calories over 24h. You will never get a hungry baby to sleep.

My method would be:
- Feed
- Swaddle (tight around shoulders)
- Wind cuddle on shoulder until at least 1 burp
- Into sidecar cot (normal cot with 1 side removed and wedged up to my bed) and dummy in
- cuddle into the cot, encircling baby. Hand on chest
- tap dummy and keep reinserting to get active sucking (dummy serves no purpose pimply in baby's mouth, sucking is what is soothing)
- wait. Stay right there. Constant focus on dummy. Hand firmly on baby's chest. Wait until deep sleep when mouth goes limp and dummy can be removed.

That's what I'd do any way.

teaandbiscuitsforme Sun 15-Oct-17 21:34:04

I would feed to sleep and don’t move him (either on the sofa with tea, biscuits, water, remotes etc prepared in advance or feed lying down in bed) or feed and put him in the sling or pram.

Like others have said, putting babies down once they’re asleep very rarely works. They need to go to sleep where they’re going to stay asleep. Don’t transfer!

GreyCloudsToday Sun 15-Oct-17 21:39:30

Does he have reflux? Sounds like my cranky, pukey, reflux baby!

EightyNine Mon 16-Oct-17 00:49:57

All looks like good advice above. I just wanted to add that if he still doesn't nap, and you've discounted medical reasons don't worry too much, I'm sure he'll be fine developmentally.
My DS1 was like this, never slept for more than 15 mins or so during the day, no matter what I did, even BF to sleep and stay on me. Nothing. I was exhausted, and made myself feel worse by thinking there was something I was doing wrong.
Mine is now a healthy strong nearly two year old, 80th percentile and already talking in short sentences. If his development suffered from his catnapping it certainly doesn't show. He did eventually learn to nap longer. But it was a long time in coming! I did pick up/put down when he was about six months but before that just went with it. He now naps for 1 1/2 to 2 hours per day no problem. Hope this reassures you, and good luck!

silkpyjamasallday Mon 16-Oct-17 07:32:06

The only thing that worked for us at that stage was having a hot water bottle in the snuzpod while I was feeding then whipping it away just before putting the baby down. It means the cot is warm and the shock of warm snuggly mummy letting go and putting them on a cold mattress is lessened. It didn't always work but it did mean dd would occasionally sleep for a bit longer in the day and night.

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