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Dropping second nap??

(5 Posts)
Deduct37 Tue 26-Sep-17 06:59:15

Little boy has just turned 13 months and has never had a reliable routine. Some mornings he's up at 5, others half 6/7. Naps have never been at set times due to not having a reliable nap length, sometimes half an hour, other times 2 hours and very oddly up to 3. I've just kind of gone with the flow because his night sleep is pretty good and I've just kind of panned out first nap based on wake up time.
We seemed to be getting into a bit of a pattern with a long nap in the morning and then a catnap later on in the day (most days!). First nap roughly starting between 8 and 9, second nap anywhere between 1 and 3. Bedtime at 6.
We've always had an early bedtime due to both my kids being early risers whatever time they go to bed, I don't want to change that as I've had overtired issues in the past.
Over the last week he has been refusing this second nap so being awake from 11ish until bedtime. He had got to the point he would only nap in the car for this one, now that's even a struggle and we can drive for an hour or so and still no sleep (even though h can yawn on and off the whole way).
I've tried holding out for the first nap, but this seems to back fire and he only had an hour all day. I've tried making first nap earlier but he just messes in the cot. He has had an awful week of clingyness where I'm struggling to even get myself sorted as he's not very happy at all (not sure if it's the tiredness or he had his injections last week).
So basically I'm not sure what else to try. I've been happy just to plod,on but the constant wingeing from the minute he gets up is unreal so I'm hoping someone has some suggestions please

FATEdestiny Tue 26-Sep-17 07:52:44

It's always earlier naps that remain (and get later) and subsequent naps that drop. So the natural way to go to 1-nap days is to drop second nap.

The way I decide if my child is ready to go to 1-nap days is the ability to stay awake longer in the mornings without any difficulty. If this wasn't possible, i would keep 2-nap days because refusal of a second nap when tired is more likely to do with over-tired rather than under-tired.

It 8s going to be very difficult for you to effect a change in routine given that you have no routine.

I would suggest that you keep but limit the length of the first nap. But without any level of consistancy of nap lengths or times, I can't see how this will make any difference to anything.

Personally, I would create some consistancy. This begins with a set wake up time. Then the knowledge that 234 is a good approximate for awake times between naps. So first nap is 2h after the set wake up time. Your next nap depends on the length of previous naps. But if you limited the first nap to a set wake up time (so that the pm nap is easier) then you also end up with a set afternoon nap time.

With your early morning and early bedtime, i would suggest:

5am wake up time (11h over night sleep is expected so 6pm bed gives a 5am natural wake up time)
2h awake time
7.15-8am nap - limit this nap to 45 minutes, so wake at 8am
3h awake time to include early lunch
11am nap for as long as possible. Resettle to aim for a 2h nap at least
6pm bedtime

These are all movable and slidable timings, it's just to give you an idea. 13 months is early for dropping to 1-nap fully. Around 18 months is average.

Deduct37 Tue 26-Sep-17 19:19:36

He stays awake well in a morning. If he is put down after 2 hours awake time, he just chats and chats and doesn't really go to sleep for ages. There's been days he's happily chatting for an hour which isn't fair on him and we've had to get him up. He does however begin to show grouchiness prior to this and I think he needs a nap, but just won't fall asleep. The grumpiness generally comes after first nap and into the afternoon, but this last week has been particularly bad (either due to injections he had a week ago, or refusing naps which happened around the same time).
When he's been up since 5 there's absolutely no way he will go back to sleep at 7. We seemed to be doing well on 3 hours awake then a decent 1 hour 20-2 hour nap. 3 hours awake then a catnap then 3 hours ish awake time before bed.
So we were roughly trying (only in the last month or so and not everyday)
Wake up whenever but around 5.30-6.30
Nap around 8.30-9.30 for however long he wanted. Seemed to be doing roughly 1 and a half hours - 1 hour 45 before his injections and then things changed
So he would wake (hopefully) around 10/11
Nap anywhere between 1 and 2 (had to be in the car and would only usually nap for 40 minutes, 1 hour max). This gradually started getting later and later and some days wouldn't drop off until 3
Then into cot around 6, asleep around 6.15-6.30 latest.
He seemed to be doing quite well with this and we started seeing less 5 am get ups and more 6-6.30 gets ups.
Then morning nap sometimes wasn't starting until 10ish because he was just chatting in cot etc. Would then fall asleep around 10 fir a couple of hours (if we were lucky) then wouldn't sleep for the rest of the day.
We seem to have had quite a few 1 nap days over the last week and I was wondering if he is beginning to transition. Most of the time he does 11 hours unbroken sleep minimum each night so is getting a good chunk then. He then started swaying towards more like 12 hours at night, sometimes more. So I'm wondering if he prefers night sleep over naps which my older little girl did aswell.
We've had a couple of random days lately due to childcare arrangements so one day was awake for around 4 and a half hours quite happily but then only napped for an hour which then made the rest of the day difficult. Think the nap was around 11-12.
Then today after a 6am wake, only napped for 20 minutes this morning but then only had 35 minutes this afternoon and that was only because I resorted to driving him around at 2pm as he would not sleep in the cot at all! I was told he was very happy all morning with no wingeing, and when I got home from work at dinner time, he was very happy all afternoon.
I feel like I'm struggling to get the balance right at the minute.
Time the first nap well and get a good nap length
Stretch it too far and nap is shorter
Cut the first nap back (which I've had to do on occasions) and either refuse second nap completely or still just have a catnap
Make bedtime later and gets up earlier following day (when we went away for a weekend bedtime was 8 and morning wake up was 4!!! Trying our hardest to convince him to go back to sleep)
Anyway, on the whole I'm generally happy with his sleep, it was just how to deal with the transition if it was happening (as I was at a loss with the constant grumpiness, but touch wood this has calmed down today)

FairyHedgehogg Tue 26-Sep-17 19:40:41

I'm going through something like this too! DD has just turned one, until recently she had two naps fairly reliably at about 9am and 1.30pm. Now the time of the morning nap is anyone's guess and usually ends up happening in the buggy on the way to a baby class. If I'm lucky she might have an afternoon nap as well, but a couple of times last week she napped 9-10am and then refused to nap at all in the afternoon!

Luckily she is a good nighttime sleeper and doesn't go into meltdown when this happens, although I start to...

I don't want to be too keen to drop to one after-lunch nap because she gets really overtired if i try keeping her up til 1230 or so. Also I think they go through a wonder week at this point with a big developmental change, so maybe that's part of it. She's more clingy than usual and you have to stay in the room with her until she's asleep, especially at bedtime (that's what I'm doing right now!)

Linzi14 Fri 29-Sep-17 20:46:44

Same as my daughter (13 months). Over a month and I thought the afternoon nap had disappeared and id given it up as a bad job and she’d stay awake until bed time at 6/630. Get up anywhere between 5 and 6. Trouble was she napped at 8-30! So it was a looong time until bed time. She fell asleep quickly but sleeping through was rare but not horrific.
This week the afternoon nap has returned.. 2.30-330 and she’s ( so far ) sleeping through although now it’s 8-6.

I guess I’m just writing this cause it’s a similar situation and interested in others replies. But I honestly don’t know what i prefer 🙈 at least when she was going to bed at 6 she’d sleep 11/12 hours with one get up at most. And when she went to bed at 6 I had 3/4 hours down time before I went to bed.
I like having her up a bit later and in a better mood for tea and her dad coming home, but is it really worth the extra half hour in the morning for the extra 2 hours .. I’m not sure

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