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Help with settling in cot

(14 Posts)
Jaffacakesinmypocket Tue 19-Sep-17 19:50:58

DD (12months) has always been a poor sleeper, most of this is my fault for rocking /cuddling to sleep and transferring but after less than 4 hours of sleep for the past 3 nights I've snapped. I did want to work with gradual retreat but never got beyond the first step after multiple attempts so here we are.

She has fallen asleep in her cot for the first time ever, it took less than 30 mins and was pretty horrific even though I was with her, stroking her and trying to reassure until she fell asleep. She has a dummy for sleep times.

Do I continue with this method during all night wakes?

She normally naps for 2 x 1.5hrs morning and afternoon, using the rock and transfer. Should I continue trying to get her to fall asleep in her cot like I did tonight? I'm conscious that a decrease in day time sleep will likely impact night sleep.

Any advice gratefully received, please no judgement if you don't agree with the method I'm using, I feel shitty enough already

Changerofname987654321 Tue 19-Sep-17 19:52:50

When the nursery nurse attached to HV came out to speak to me about sleep training she said you have to do the same for night waking.

I would not cope/it did not work for the day time nap and I gave up with it.

Good luck.

Jaffacakesinmypocket Wed 20-Sep-17 10:29:36

If anyone is interested the first night was a disaster. Not sure why I'm posting, just letting off steam I guess.

After being in agreement of what to do with any night wakes and DH being very supportive it became clear at around midnight that we're not on the same page.

I'm not sure what to do next, it feels like being back in the dark days of newborn sleep deprivation and to compound the issue I've spent over an hour unsuccessfully trying to get DD to nap. I've given up and she's now sleeping on my chest. I figured sleep by any means was more important.

Has anyone had success with PUPD with an older baby?

redcaryellowcar Wed 20-Sep-17 10:47:48

It almost certainly will work and night one is usually the hardest, try to stick with the same plan for a week at least, or it's hard to know it's working and also for her to get used to it. I read a great book called the no cry sleep solution which was eye opening, very good information on how babies sleep and loads of ideas on how to improve sleep.

crazycatlady5 Wed 20-Sep-17 10:54:19

I think people have a huge misunderstanding of baby sleep. I can see you're desperate but it sounds like you're making yourself miserable. It is going to be even harder to sleep train a baby who has only ever been used to comfort.

Does cosleeping not work for you? Could you side car the cot to your bed? Baby will most certainly sleep through and get there on her own in the end. I do understand the exhaustion as I'm in the same boat flowers

Jaffacakesinmypocket Wed 20-Sep-17 10:57:51

I'd be happy to c

Poosnu Wed 20-Sep-17 11:02:53

You can do this for night sleeps only, but continue to have the baby nap however you like and sleep train for naps later.

Jaffacakesinmypocket Wed 20-Sep-17 11:03:20

Try again...

I'd be happy to cosleep, unfortunately DD just thinks it's hilarious and tries to play / pull my hair and blow raspberries then gets incredibly frustrated.

Side car cot was working to an extent. Certainly more sleep than we are currently getting, but we did feel like we were waking her when going to bed. DH also became convinced we needed to move her sooner rather than later (thanks to well meaning advice from MIL and his workmates) so I felt rather strong armed into moving her into her own room at 10 months. She now has a cotbed that won't fit in out bedroom and the smaller cot went to the tip last weekend.

Jaffacakesinmypocket Wed 20-Sep-17 11:05:02

Thanks redcar, I've seen that book mentioned before - I'll have a look on Amazon

Poosnu, very useful to know thank you!

keepitgoing Wed 20-Sep-17 11:24:12

We've done/ are doing similar. I used to feed to sleep but the transfers were driving me up the wall. I think you can just do it for the bedtime, then settle as normal overnight at first. But I agree with splitting the night with your husband. I found that he took to in cot settling ok after two nights and was then ok without a feed for the early wakes, which got later.
I carried on feeding to sleep for naps, DH cuddles him. I just don't think he'd sleep then otherwise!

Nan0second Wed 20-Sep-17 14:29:53

I would just do nights for now. For some reason they do manage to separate the two!
For naps, DD would fall asleep walking in the buggy if I walked somewhere boring, so I used to do that. Gradually I just started wiggling the buggy and then eventually weaned down to not needing to wiggle at all... at nights I did gradual retreat as per the "what worked for us" thread. Hard work at first but worth persevering

Jaffacakesinmypocket Thu 21-Sep-17 10:02:56

Thank you Keepit & Nan0
Great to hear from people that have had success and really pleased to hear you've managed to separate nap settling, despite what people keep yelling me I know she still needs 2 naps, she's horrible if she doesn't!

So, last night DD fell asleep while feeding which hasn't happened for a couple of months, I didn't have the heart or energy to wake her again to battle through the same as the previous night. Other than a short resettle which took 5 mins she slept through! We will now spend the next 3 weeks trying to perfectly recreate the scenario hoping the same will happen, that's what we always do when we have a good night grin

In reality I'm feeling much better just from a good night sleep. With the renewed energy I'm hoping to take a more gradual approach which I think will suit us all. That's the idea anyway.

crazycatlady5 Thu 21-Sep-17 10:15:52

Sounds perfect! Well done Op flowers

Nan0second Thu 21-Sep-17 20:58:10

Great news

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