Not sure how it became like this.
DS was an amazing sleeper however he has mostly been rocked to sleep all of his life. This started from when he had terrible reflux as a baby (he was 2 months premature).
Anyhow even though he was rocked/cuddled to sleep he slept through and it wasn't a problem. We'd put him in his cot in his own room and walk out.
Around a month ago DS was very poorly, high fever, last set of molars coming through. We ended up buying a camp bed -marvellous idea NOT to sleep with him next to his cot (sides still up and he's still in a grobag which he loves).
So you know what's coming next right? We are still in the camp bed next to his cot. DH and myself are taking turns. He always wants us next to him when falling asleep (doesn't necessarily want rocked/but will hold our hand) and when we leave in the middle of the night he screams until we return. It's getting ridiculous.
I am now A/L next week so thinking I really need to get him to sleep by himself. But will CC work on an older child? Has anybody got any other ideas? He also gets cuddles for naps 🙈 Although sleeps fine at nursery.
I'm also dreading CC because he will be sick and it will go on for AGES.
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CC on a 2y2m old. Or any other ideas
BumWad · 20/08/2017 11:11
dementedpixie beat me to it. It sounds like gradual withdrawal would be better. It's not a quick fix though. You can certainly speed through it If you wish, but unlikely to be solved with a week of AL.
So the idea is based on the principles that:
- child trusts you will always give as much reassurance as he needs to feel secure enough to sleep.
- you gradually reduce the amount of reassurance the child needs in order to feel secure enough to sleep.
I would also introduce a comforter at the same time. Teddy, blankie, muslin.
An example (it's child led, so do whatever works for you, this is just an example idea) would be:
- parent standing next to cot, leaning in, holding hands, reassuring in any way necessary until asleep. Once asleep stay still for 15 mins or so to be sure in a deep sleep then sneek out ninja style. Respond ASAP to any night wakes and repeat. Likewise daytime naps.
- swap the holding hands for laying your hand on baby's chest/back for reassurance (this is easier to remove once asleep). All else the same.
- reassure in-cot with firm hand on chest. Try to stay stationary, just hand on chest, until asleep. Movement (patting, shushing, or whatever works) if unsettled, still to just your hand on chest/back when calm. Wait in that position until asleep. Remove hand, wait to check asleep. Sneek out ninja style.
- Firm hand on chest/back when unsettled. Remove hand and just stand, still, next to cot when calm. Back to reassure if ever unsettled. Withdraw when calm. Wait until asleep.
- Firm hand on chest to initially settle and just stand by the cot and wait until asleep. Leave once asleep. Return quickly for any night wakes and repeat same process.
- Firm hand to settle, stand a half turn facing side-on to cot (rather than facing cot). Wait until asleep then leave.
- Settle as normal, then wait by the cot but facing the door. Return to firm hand on chest to settle if needed, always withdraw back up the GW steps once calm.
- Settle as normal, then take a step towards the door. Just one step. Wait there until asleep. Don't try seeking out early, before asleep. That will just destroy the trust that you'll always give as much reassurance and child needs. Staying until asleep is something that the child needs to trust you'll do. Otherwise he'll learn to fight sleep in order to keep you there.
- Settle settle in cot, walk to doorway. Face cot and wait in doorway until asleep. Walk back in, hand on chest if unsettled. Withdraw to doorway when calm. Wait until asleep.
- Settle in cot, wait by door to ensure settled. Create a quick (60s) job to do. "Im just going to put this in bathroom, be right back". Quick go and come back. Then wait. Back in if calked, withdraw when calm.
- settle, withdraw to doorway, busy yourself upstairs. Keep popping back to doorway constantly. Close door once asleep.
- settle, leave room but leave door open. Back in as soon as needed. Withdraw when calm. Close door when asleep.
- settle, leave room, close door, Hoover listening at closed door. Any noise or grumble, open door and check ok. It's reassurance that even with door closed, you are right there to respond as soon as needed.
- settle, leave, close door, Hoover upstairs for 15 minutes
- settle, leave, close door, done.
Well I should have listened to Fate.
It was awful, and DS climbed/fell out of his cot around 17 minutes into CC after also being sick at around 5 mins.
He was very very distressed 
and I'm still feeling terribly guilty putting him through that.
He got a big cuddle off me and fell asleep pretty quickly. Must have been so worn out from it all.
Looks like it's gradual retreat.
If it was me, I'd write off any ideas of sleep training for a couple of days and go back to sleeping in the camp bed until mid week, just to get over and forget about the distress.
Then start again once everything has calmed down with gradual withdrawal. You don't have to do it as slowly and gradually as my description there. You could skip through the steps at a much faster pace. It might mean more distress, but at 2yo we are not talking about a helpless baby here. Plus you would be right there comforting through any upset.
Have a read through the opening post here for more ideas:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps
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