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Baby is only 3 months and sleep deprivation is killing me

(75 Posts)
Knackeredtiredfedup Thu 17-Aug-17 00:48:07

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HT85 Thu 17-Aug-17 08:15:37

I recommend downloading an app called the wonder weeks, lots of developmental things going on. So if you try to feed her lying down she cries? Have you tried a dark room with white noise and then feed lying down? Sorry you're having such a hard time sad she is still very little though. Some days my baby would just NOT sleep and when my husband came in I would hand her over and march upstairs for a rest!

I really hate to tell you this but the nighttime sleep sounds quite good at the moment, 3 hour stretches.

Have you tried bedsharing? It's not for everyone but it was a game changer for me. She still wakes but I just feed her back to sleep and doze as well. It takes a little while to get used to it but now I barely notice her waking up.

I'm so sorry it's so tough for you - I definitely recommend white noise (loud but not near babies ear, I use rain) and a darkened room. Also the wonder weeks app.

Good luck xx

PotteringAlong Thu 17-Aug-17 08:18:59

If they're grumpy at 5 they will be massively overtired by 9pm. What happens if they're in bed by 5? My 6 month old was asleep for the night (well, not all night but you know what I mean) by 6.15 yesterday - we started bath etc at 5.45.

PotteringAlong Thu 17-Aug-17 08:20:00

Also, if she sleeps in 3 hour stretches at night why are you only getting 4 hours broken sleep in total? What time are you going to bed?

HT85 Thu 17-Aug-17 08:22:29

I was wondering the same @potteringalong, I also stopped changing nappies in the night early on blush

HT85 Thu 17-Aug-17 08:23:20

I used to think mine was tired early but if she went to sleep at 5 she would be wide awake an hour later. Just a nap really for her!

FATEdestiny Thu 17-Aug-17 08:35:52

Knackeredtiredfedup

Have you tried a sidecar cot? You can take the side off many normal cots to make it 3 sided. Then wedge it up to your bed so the mattress heights match. It makes in-cot settling easier.

The game changer for independant sleep is the dummy though. With the sidecar cot, Allow a for much easier in-cot settling.

A swaddle can also help, since it recreates the tight, secure feeling of being in the womb. You shouldn't introduce a swaddle after 3 months though, so you will very soon lose the option of a swaddle. I understand a sleepyhead helps with the same enclosed feeling.

FATEdestiny Thu 17-Aug-17 08:39:07

At 3 months we just keep the nap cycles going through until I went to bed. 1h max awake then a nap, repeated 7am throygh to any wake up that happened around 10pm, when I went to bed.

So yeah, a sleep that happened around 5pm was just another nap. Likewise a sleep at 7pm, although the awake time after the 7pm "nap" would be cut to just a feed and back to napping.

HT85 Thu 17-Aug-17 08:49:45

@FATEdestiny agreed. OP you might find if baby is just napping on and off until you go to bed you won't be woken at 6am too! X

Knackeredtiredfedup Thu 17-Aug-17 10:02:59

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LapinR0se Thu 17-Aug-17 10:06:55

What time does she wake up and what time is the first nap of the day?

Knackeredtiredfedup Thu 17-Aug-17 10:07:43

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Knackeredtiredfedup Thu 17-Aug-17 10:10:21

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FATEdestiny Thu 17-Aug-17 10:10:34

Have you tried a bouncy chair for daytime naps?

Remove the play arch so it's just the bouncer. Position it at your feet as you sut in the sofa and just keep relentlessly bouncing with your foot while you watch tv. Reinserting dummy as needed.

Around 60 minute awake time, into bouncer and bounce bounce bounce while you watch tv. Repeated all day.

From teatime onwards expect some cluster feeding. Just park yourself on sofa with baby on your lap, allowing for feeding and cradle naps on and off for a few hours.

Knackeredtiredfedup Thu 17-Aug-17 10:13:44

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Knackeredtiredfedup Thu 17-Aug-17 10:14:04

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Callamia Thu 17-Aug-17 10:19:17

Have you tried a sling for day time naps? My first was like yours, and this new one feels quite similar. He'll sleep for ages in a sling, and wakes up after about ten mins in the Pram/Moses basket/whatever.

My eldest was a terrible and short napper, but he really needed the warmth of the sling to get him to stay asleep for any length of time. It also meant that I wasn't tied to pushing the pram about or rocking the moses basket to keep him asleep.

Alwaysatyke Thu 17-Aug-17 10:28:01

Don't have much to add other than the good advice given above but i completely empathise - my daughter was a horrendous sleeper and i always felt like no-one I spoke to (gp, hv, other parents) really believed how bad it was. She didn't sleep for more than about a couple of 30m stretches through the day, then woke up every couple of hours at night to be fed back to sleep.

Things that helped me - reading the wonder weeks was great, it didn't fix the problem but helped me appreciate what dd was going through and as she got older I could adjust our play to suit her development stages (I know that sounds a bit wanky but trust me! ).

I also found it easier once I stopped stressing about how she got her daytime naps. I was always trying to get her down in moses basket etc but she just wanted to sleep on me, cuddled up - and that was fine. She got more rest which meant she wasn't as over tired at night, and I got a bit of time not to sleep exactly, but just to relax and feel comfy. As she got a bit bigger I kept a sleep diary and found one time of day when she nearly always napped, so I tried to keep her awake before then so that nap became longer. By about a year she was having one nap of 1-2 hrs at 1pm and nothing else through the day, which made night times improve too.

The only other thing that helped was infacol - she was definitely colicky and it made her less uncomfortable in the evenings.

I hope you find a solution that works for you, try not to look too far ahead as it really will get gradually and incrementally better (although I guess you'll probably want to stab in the eye anyone who says that to you, I certainly did)

Knackeredtiredfedup Thu 17-Aug-17 10:31:47

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Knackeredtiredfedup Thu 17-Aug-17 10:50:20

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Knackeredtiredfedup Thu 17-Aug-17 10:56:25

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usersos Thu 17-Aug-17 11:00:00

It's incredibly hard but does get better
Take it in shifts when you can and if you can get the baby down earlier then you go to bed at same time! For months I was in bed by 7pm latest
Oh I found torching my copy of the wonder weeks the best thing for us 🖕🏻💩! X

HT85 Thu 17-Aug-17 11:12:27

@Knackeredtiredfedup I used to suffer with insomnia because of an anxiety condition so I know it's horrid - definitely go and see a doctor xx

chloechloe Thu 17-Aug-17 13:48:22

You're doing a great job! It's exhausting though isn't it!?

I would really try again with the sling. Around the time she needs a nap, say after 1 hour awake, put her in the sling and head out for a walk. Even if she hates it at first the fresh air and movement should send her to sleep quickly.

Chosenbyyou Thu 17-Aug-17 15:58:35

Hi

My first baby was like this - my second is very different.

You are doing everything exactly right - you are trying things and eventually something will be right for your baby and then it will all change again! You are keeping trying and that is the best thing you can do.

My first liked vigorous rocking - I used to do bobbing across my lounge diner with my music on and eventually I would look down and it had worked. My current baby likes it dark and quiet ( not going too well with a toddler!). But I keep trying....

If yours is like my first you will be rewarded with a fun and interesting toddler! It seems like a lifetime away but you will get there and you will be proud that you had to dig deep to get through but you got through it!

Take care and don't take it personally like its you not getting it right cuz it's not xx

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