9mo only sleeps if held and with my boob in her mouth.

[MrsKoala]

I have a 9mo who has only ever slept when held or in a buggy. She sleeps at night with my boob in her mouth and if i try to remove it she screams blue murder. She is wriggly and wakeful and continually having small feeds (approx every 90-120 mins). I have to lay in an extremely awkward position and am exhausted most of the time. I am happy to co-sleep if she'd lay next to me like my other 2 did, but having my boob in her mouth and the frequency of wakings is killing me slowly.

I was going to start CC this week, but am now seeing that it's not recommended till 12mo.

Any advice on how to get her to sleep without feeding? She wont take a dummy or a bottle.

[Neverknowing]

My DD was similar. I think sleep training is a good idea. There are other methods though, for us I did CC for a few nights but my DD was so upset that we switched to stroking her cheek to sleep, which worked really well. I think the CC taught her to fall asleep by herself and then the stroking her cheek was the best way to fall asleep for her. It sounds dumb but honestly I think you know what to do when it comes down to it.
My DD started to get very upset at about 6 because somehow she knew it would be bedtime and we would leabe her to cry you'll know if you need to stop and try something else. My DD sleeps through the night now btw

[Grayfig]

I don't consleep but mine would only fall asleep on the boob at bedtime and for nighttime resettles. Have you tried the methods in the No Cry Sleep Solution (phased removal so that they gradually are more and more awake when taken off the boob?) Over the course of about 4 weeks we now are able to put down (just) awake after a feed and pat her to sleep, and can resettle by patting and shushing in the night except for a couple of feeds. Sometimes just a firm hand on her for a few seconds!

[Grayfig]

Also CC is very tough on a baby that has been cosleeping and feeding to sleep, it's a huge huge leap. In your position I'd give gentle methods a try first and stick with it for a while. The first time I was able to put her down awake was unbelievable but it did take a few weeks. Once or twice I've even just sung her to sleep, from eyes open.

[brummiesue]

How have you managed that for 9 months??!! If she is taking solids she surely shouldn't need as much breastmilk and can manage without, have you tried putting her in a cot with a sealed cup/bottle of cows milk/ formula at a set bedtime? I still lie down on the floor with my 2yr old to settle them off to sleep, I don't interact with them but my presence is often enough to settle them. Either that or maybe try cc as others have mentioned. Sounds like you need to sort it out for your own heath, good luck!

[CoteDAzur]

Give her a dummy. There are softer ones that imitate the shape of a nipple flattened against roof of baby's mouth.

If you plan to do CC, do it sooner rather than later. It's much harder when they can get up in the cot.

Re how to get her to sleep without feeding - Shh/pat, rock, etc whatever works. Your DP should do this, though, as baby will smell the milk on you and want it.

[MrsKoala]

Thanks. The last few nights she has woken every 45 mins when she realises my boob isn't in her mouth. We have tried loads of dummies from 2 weeks old. We used to have a nanny who would hold it in her mouth while she screamed. We tried daily for 3 months.Same with bottles.

She defo does not need the milk as she settles as soon as it's in her mouth. She probably only takes a feed at about 1.30am. (i only feed from one side so she has always fed more frequently).

We have the no cry book but it starts off with a premis of them not hysterical. She is already screaming the moment she sees the cot. As i try to lay her in it she is clinging to my clothes and crying 'mumma'. She already stands in it - she is almost walking.

We've got the Nanny starting again tomorrow for a month so i can crack it. It means i can nap in the day. I have bought a bottle shaped like a boob and have all the dummies ready.

If i'm not here then she will be rocked to sleep by someone else - but still refuses bottles/dummy. DH isn't home till 8pm each night so he doesn't do bedtimes.

[Grayfig]

You don't lie her in the cot awake to start with, you feed her ALMOST to sleep and then lie her down still hugging her and rocking slightly etc. So she isn't upset because she is practically asleep. It also has ideas about how to transition from co-sleeping to cot - I think you would need to do the two steps - i.e. get her used to falling asleep without boob, and then get her used to sleeping alone in the cot. The book does address this dual issue for BF co-sleepers.

[MrsKoala]

But she is upset when i take my boob out of her mouth. She sleeps the moment she goes on it - i can't keep her awake. She holds the latch and then i have to prize her off and she screams.

[MrsKoala]

I am going to start only feeding her when she wakes up and then trying other ways to get her to sleep even if she is rooting and pulling at my top and sucking my arms!

[Neverknowing]

I know how frustrating it is koala as people would say 'feed her almost to sleep and then put her down and she'll fall asleep' I tried this many times and she would just scream and scream at me.
I ended up feeding her to sleep making sure she was totally asleep and then putting her down but continuing to hug her while she's in the cot so she doesn't feel a difference and then after say five mins gradually stop i.e. Take one hand away, then another etc etc. Then as the days go on feed her mostly to sleep and then rock her all the way to sleep, then just rock her, then just stroke her cheek? This is basically what worked with my DD but I did try CC first and idk if that helped her to learn to fall asleep first ?

[MrsKoala]

For naps and at bed time I can feed to sleep then transfer her to the cot and she stays asleep for about 40-60 mins but then wakes up and it's then I can't resettle her. In the day I get her up but at night she then stays on me feeding all night. Waking every 45-120 mins for a comfort feed to go back to sleep.

[MrsKoala]

If they are frantic with crying do you just carry on stroking them while they shake their head and scream more? I once rocked and stroked her for 2 hrs about 3 months ago and she didn't let up screaming once. How long should you do it before you pick them up?

[FATEdestiny]

Have a read of the opening post here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps

Is this something you could do?

[EezerGoode]

I never had any of this,with my 4..what worked for me was a strict routine..right from day one out of hospital,bath at 6 ,last feed ,bed at 7 and I read to them.yep from day one I read to them to get them to sleep.they usually woke at 10 and 5 for a long feed..I had 3 children under 3 ,all in nappies.so I needed a good routine.i had them all in the same room for the first 5 yrs..I need my evenings to myself ,I wouldn't of coped without me time each evening.so ...I think you should try to tire her out in the day...feed her a weetabix for supper,get a routine going bath,bed story ,fall asleep to the sound of your voice ,not on the breast.

[EezerGoode]

I wasn't breast feeding mine at 9 months old....the eldest had to stop to make way for the next one..I think it might be an idea to stop breast feeding...mine weren't interested in milk once they discovered food .at 9 months she should be on 3 meals a day anyway..obviously it's your choice when to stop...I think it's contributing to her not settling with out breast in mouth..what's more important,your sleep? Or her breast feeding? Difficult...

[MrsKoala]

Yes, it's complicated tho. I have a 5 yo boy with asd/ADHD and an almost 3 year old who doesn't sleep till 9.30/10. She has to just fit in really. Dh isn't home till 8 at the earliest, often later.

5/6-8 is utterly manic and I just have to stop them smashing up the house!

I can't bath her or take her away to read quietly as I have to supervise the boys at all times.

[EezerGoode]

I've 2 with autism.so I get it

[MrsKoala]

My boys loved their food and self weaned at 6-8mo. She does eat 3 decent meals a day (not as much as the boys tho) but still is a boob monster.

I'm planning on weaning her onto this new boob shaped bottle I have bought this month.

[EezerGoode]

Get them all in the same routine....supper at 6 .bath at half past ,all 3 in bed at 7... 8 is to late....run the bath all in together.my 3 child on his first day home from hospital was bathed in with his siblings,hectic ,but I managed...no dh at home ,he worked nights

[EezerGoode]

Does she take a cup with spout with water in???

[EezerGoode]

If so put milk in cup..no need for bottle ..

[EezerGoode]

Make sure yr older 2 are not napping in the day..tire them out completely lots of walks,reading stories to get them to sleep you aim at the 5 yr olds level.the others drift of to your voice...where is yr evening??? Mine are full blown autistic...no school ...really bad behaviour,but still in bed at 7. I'd of had a nervous breakdown if they were up at 10 pm

[MrsKoala]

No. That doesn't work- I can't bath the boys. It's not safe. Ds1 is too violent and there is too much risk of the stairs etc. The paed has advised not to push it with him as it's a sensory issue. And he could hurt us and himself.

[EezerGoode]

That's why mine wasn't in school,because of the violence...sounds like you need this nanny ..hope she's able to help x

[MrsKoala]

Almost 3year old has had nap reintroduced as he was falling asleep on the floor at 5/6pm then waking at 3am and not being able to sleep. This way he sleeps all round 10-6 then 1-2pm. Ds1 needs to be driven to sleep by dh or layed with in a silent dark room for an hour 8-9pm/or when dh is home. I can't get them all upstairs and ds1 will run head first at us and attack us if we try to contain him in his room.