Returned to work - baby suddenly waking all night

[TiredMummyNov16]

Hi all,

I won't go into the details but I've had to return to work full time with my baby only being 7 months old. Luckily, she is looked after by her two nans at my house. On mon & tues by my mum who is very good at babybsitting. And weds, thurs, Friday by my MIL who is great but also looks after our 15 month old niece at the same time, so you can imagine it's not always the smoothest day for her.

Before returning to work I was luckily enough to have the baby who slept through the night since birth without a dummy. However, she stared having a dummy for her day time naps just before I went back to work as she won't settle herself for naps in day unless she is rocked or in pushchair - which my MIL can't do with our niece here too.

Since going back to work my daughters sleep has quickly spiralled into waking 4 times before I've even got into bed myself. The rest of the night is horrendous. I've ended up popping a dummy in a lot as I'm so tired but this has probably made things worse so tonight I'm going cold turkey on the dummy.

I feel like the worlds worst mother at the moment! She's become so unsettled and it's breaking my heart watching her sleep at night go out the window. When she wakes during the night she is rubbing her eyes exhausted tired. I've been back to work 5 weeks now and her sleep has got worse and worse each week.

Has anyone else faced this?? Is it because I've gone back to work and she's unsettled? Her too nans have kept her nap schedule on track (9am 1.5 hours and 1pm 1 hour). This is what she had before I returned to work and it was working great.

I am at my wits end and feel so guilty for going back to work I've been constantly in tears but don't have much choice xx

[Thishatisnotmine]

Bump.

No advice but didn't want to read and run.
My dd was never a fantastic sleeper but it went very wrong when I returned to work when she was 10 months. She had also started nursery, was teething and getting ill a lot. Perhaps your dd is just getting used to the change. Keeping the routine consistent will most likely help? Changing things to see if x works better will just unsettle her more. And don't feel bad about the dummy! If it works then go with it.

[UnaOfStormhold]

Sounds like she is trying to get more time with you, which is fairly normal when you go back to work. Is there any way of shifting your work schedule or her bedtime so that she gets a bit more awake time with you in the evening? if not, time will help.

[FATEdestiny]

However, she stared having a dummy for her day time naps just before I went back to work as she won't settle herself for naps in day unless she is rocked or in pushchair

You returning to work is a red herring.

Your Mum and MIL are having to deal with sleep training your daughter from parent-led settling (rocking etc) to independant sleeping (dummy). This is also being done around 8 months old - just as physical development leaps make sleep difficult anyway.

I would imagine your DD is lacking in consistancy. It's only to be expected that 3 different people will do things slightly different each time. That's unavoidable really. But there's the added confusion if dummy and independant sleep or not dummy and...I'm not sure what you are replacing it with.

my daughters sleep has quickly spiralled into waking 4 times before I've even got into bed myself

That will be a mixture of

• 8 month sleep regression
  
• sudden sleep training
  
• sleep training being done with a degree of inconsistancy
  
• over tiredness from lack of daytime sleep (due to all the above)
  

You are 'blaming' the wrong thing. This isn't the fault of the dummy. In fact the dummy may well be your saviour.

DUMMIES ARE AMAZING

Your dummy is helping baby to get to sleep

Dummy has zero effect on staying asleep. The dummy is not the reason for frequent wakes.

The dummy makes getting to sleep

• quick
  
• easy
  
• independant
  
• It is also easy to replicate with consistancy across different people.
  

Ditching the dummy is a very bad idea in your situation. It will make an already bad situation worse.