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Open to suggestions - 11 month old terrible sleeper

(11 Posts)
SleepWhatSleep1 Wed 05-Jul-17 21:18:45

This is dc3 so has to fit around the other 2 a fair bit. He's a very happy smiley baby, so whatever he's doing suits him right down to the ground! grin I'm knackered however.

6am baby wakes happy and laughing and demanding to play. Breastfeed in an attempt to get him back to sleep. Sometimes succeed. mostly not.

7am get everyone up and toiletted and downstairs
7.30 breakfast for everyone except baby as he's just not interested. Normally give him some dry cereal or fruit to play with while I get everything sorted.
8.30 out the door for school run.
9am some sort of activity with 3yo like toddler group or play date. Baby WILL NOT nap as it is too exciting.
10.00 snack for baby and toddler. Baby often has bread sticks and peanut butter, or half a banana, or chopped fruit and a baby biscuit.
11.00 baby usually has a breastfeed and will then fall asleep on the way home from wherever we are - so in the sling on my back, or in the car seat. This nap is usually 30-45 minutes and he wakes happy.
12.30 lunch. Whatever I'm having or 3yo is having - so normally bread, protein, veg/salad and fruit. Sometimes scrambled egg or noodles. Avocado and hummus frequently.
2.00 ish breastfeed sometimes falls asleep
2.30 naps if didn't fall asleep feeding. This is annoying as I need to do school run at 2.45, but he often falls back asleep in the sling once I'm out and walking. This nap is anything from 45 mins to 2 hours. Usually 1.5 hours.
4pm snack for all children. Baby often just wants a breastfeed, and never wants much food.
6pm dinner
7pm bath and bed for all. Baby often defiantly awake and wanting to play which makes bedtime hard when I'm going solo!
9pm baby normally eventually / finally asleep after numerous resettling, feeding, shushing etc. I'm actually trying to feed him down now.
He then wakes at 11pm, 1am, 3.30, 4.30, 5.30 and 6. Sometimes shush and pat gets him back to sleep, sometimes a quick breastfeed (comfort feed not proper feed), sometimes he's awake and we have to get up for an hour so as not to wake the others.

It's doing me in.
He sucks his fingers as comfort but that doesn't work at night. He's in a cosleeper cot, but wakes evenmore frequently if I'm not in the bed (eg in other child's bedroom). He does have dairy and soya Intolerance and was a very sicky baby, but that seems all fine now!

Sorry it's so long - any suggestions?

FATEdestiny Wed 05-Jul-17 22:37:32

I appreciate how difficult it is with a toddler and a school run to fit in. I have four children.

I would use a dummy, first and foremost.

Then I'd be encouraging a morning nap on the way home from the school run, 9am ish. I used to do this via a long pushchair walk to take the toddler to playgroup.

Then a 12-1pm lunch and second nap straight after - at home and in the cot.

At night, I would night wean and find a different way to settle baby at night.

SleepWhatSleep1 Thu 06-Jul-17 19:57:34

I don't really like dummies, but he sucks his fingers anyway - what would a dummy achieve that sucking his finger can't?

Anyway - I tried to get home to nap after school run. Went for a long circular walk, AND then a drive in the car. By 10.30 the 3yo was complaining and i gave up - went to a soft play. Instead he napped on the way home from soft play at 12.30. but then he didn't nap again and has just gone to sleep now! Fed to sleep so not ideal, butucj quicker than usual with less going back in a gazillion times to resettle.
My bigger children are refusing to sleep instead now though! grin

SleepWhatSleep1 Thu 06-Jul-17 20:01:18

The 12.30 nap was before lunch (fell asleep just as we got home) and was 1hr.
I am slowly night weaning as I try shush pat together him back to sleep as a first instance. That worked to gently night wean my others when they were ready.

FATEdestiny Thu 06-Jul-17 20:47:03

I don't really like dummies, but he sucks his fingers anyway - what would a dummy achieve that sucking his finger can't?

Stop the need to shush pat.
And the need to feed for comfort
Makes night weaning a million times easier.
Make resettles a gazillion times faster and easier

The finger sucking evidently isn't providing baby the comfort needed to sleep. Otherwise he'd be independantly sleeping.

You'll never convert me to any alternate. There is nothing that beats a dummy for no-crying independant sleep.

It's a moot point anyway. Chances of introducing a dummy and it being any use at 11 months is slim to none.

I tried to get home to nap after school run. Went for a long circular walk, AND then a drive in the car. By 10.30...

Why didn't you just go straight home and have a cot nap until 10.30, if you had nowhere to be?

When my youngest was 12 months, my others were all at school so no 'need' to be elsewhere at nap times. She napped 9-11am and 1-3pm. Both in the cot. I appreciate these are long naps, but a 9am-10am cot nap would mean baby naps in the cot and you still have time for taking the toddler out.

When my older two were both babies I also had a toddler at home. So morning cot naps only happened on days we had nothing planned. Otherwise it was pushchair naps out of necessity, not choice.

SleepWhatSleep1 Thu 06-Jul-17 21:57:06

There is absolutely no way he would sleep in the cot in the morning! grin he's way too busy grin

Thanks for the suggestions though.

FATEdestiny Thu 06-Jul-17 22:06:22

Mine is also active? How active or not a child is has little to do with healthy sleep habits confused

So if he won't sleep in the cot in the morning and also won't sleep in the pushchair, and you don't want to help him learn to do so, the next best thing is to stop him falling asleep on the way home.

Time going him so that he's not too exhausted. Keep him entertained throughout. Get home, have a longer cot nap once home. Ideally working on in-cot settling (thumb sucking, comforter snuggling, shushing, patting etc)

FATEdestiny Thu 06-Jul-17 22:07:32

"Time going home..."

HopelesslydevotedtoGu Thu 06-Jul-17 23:28:16

I am having similar trouble with my 11 month old, also has older siblings. In fact I was walking round the garden with baby crying in the sling until 11pm tonight shock

What has helped so far (I didn't follow these rules today btw which is why 11pm pacing) is having a morning nap at around 10, an afternoon nap at 2ish, then early bed around 6-7. It is really difficult to stick to those times with an older child, but the days I do, things are easier.

I still find that baby seems to hype up in the evening too. Even if tired at 6pm, I still struggle to get baby to actually sleep, sometimes leading to hours of crying, screaming, feeding, walks.... It feels like overtiredness, but why do they get overtired when you give them every opportunity to sleep?? I do think maybe my toddler is exciting baby too much in the evening.

AprilShowers16 Fri 07-Jul-17 09:54:32

I have recently cut out my 11 month olds morning nap and it's make the world of difference to his afternoon nap and bedtime. Now he has an early lunch at 11.30 and then goes down for his nap after that. At first it felt like the wrong thing to do as he was getting grumpy in the morning and falling asleep but after a couple of weeks he seems to have adapted. I don't let him nap past 3 and then he goes to bed at 7.30/8.For night times we had a similar situation and we have night weaned by getting my DH to take over nights, he'll now sleep 12-5 without waking up in the night which was completely unheard of before. I don't know if any of those things will work for you but maybe worth a try? It's confusinf when I have friends who's babies are having two naps a day and then going to bed at 6 but I think maybe he just doesn't need as much sleep

SleepWhatSleep1 Fri 07-Jul-17 19:50:11

I just don't think he needs that much sleep either.
I tried to get him to nap at 10. No chance - he thought it hilarious! grin he eventually started looking tired at 1pm and then napped until 2.30 - and has just gone to sleep pretty easily! And he was awake at 6.

I'm thinking that maybe he needs to drop the morning nap as well

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