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My 5 month old and I cry ourselves to sleep every night

(39 Posts)
Fidget8radish Mon 03-Jul-17 22:38:50

New to mumsnet and new to being a mum.
My son still wakes up every 2 hours (every 1 hour if he's unwell) at night and it's getting harder and harder for me to settle him back to sleep.

He's got severe eczema and had a good two months of back to back flare ups & steroids non stop. We finally got it under control a month ago but his sleep hasn't progressed. His weight is now up to where it should be, I've been giving him a bedtime routine since 6 weeks old and I can't think of anything else holding him back.

I'm so desperate for sleep. Is it worth investing in a sleep consultant? I've not got the heart for cc of cio methods, how long do the other methods take to kick in?

QuiteLikely5 Mon 03-Jul-17 22:43:25

What milk is he on?

Have allergies been ruled out?

Title another post baby eczema and see if other posters have remedies that worked for them

It does and will get better. These days are the hardest flowers

Hudhud31 Mon 03-Jul-17 22:45:08

Hello I had really bad eczema when I was little and my mum stopped giving me eggs and dairy and it went away. Just try different things with that. About the sleep thing I would just try and get the baby to be super tired before bed with my son I started napping him at 10am then only giving him an hour and 15 mins nap then waking him up (it's horrible feeling I know) but then by 7 he was super knackered and fell asleep on his bottle. You just gotta be persistent I can't do the whole crying thing it will make me sad but now we have a nice little routine. Feel free to message me if u need any more help xxxx

NameChange30 Mon 03-Jul-17 22:46:04

Oh your poor things flowers
I can't really advise but I wonder if there might be any other health issues, related (or not) to the eczema? Something you might not have picked up on yet because of having to focus on the eczema as it was so bad?
Baby could be waking up because he's hungry or maybe his tummy is hurting or something...
When he cries can you tell if he's hungry or in pain or do you think he just wants comfort and cuddles?

NameChange30 Mon 03-Jul-17 22:47:36

Cross posts. I was thinking of allergies/intolerances actually as I've heard they can go hand in hand with eczema.

GreyCloudsToday Mon 03-Jul-17 22:48:40

Have you got any help, even to get some proper stretches of sleep at weekends? You must be starting to feel super depleted by now. I also wondered about a cows milk protein allergy, maybe worth researching? I'm sorry you and your little guy are not having it easy. We had reflux and got through it in the end. It gets so much better xx

DermotOLogical Mon 03-Jul-17 22:49:46

How's his daytime sleep?

Herculesupatree Mon 03-Jul-17 22:50:11

I used E45 bath emoliant on my baby who had eczema on advice of health visitor and it made a big difference quite quickly.

Don't know much about sleep but given how hot it is could you look at room temps/bedding?

superking Mon 03-Jul-17 22:51:39

I don't have any advice about the allergies I'm afraid, but I found your title really sad and just wanted to come and offer you some support. My first was a terrible sleeper and it was so so hard. If you think the eczema is under control then he might now be waking out of habit and I think a sleep consultant would be a very good idea if you can afford it. I know it sounds trite but it really will pass, that's very little consolation I know. Good luck.

Fidget8radish Mon 03-Jul-17 22:52:07

Thanks for that, will have a look.
He's breastfed and was on prescription formula for the odd top up.

He does have multiple allergies and is under two different paediatric teams. I've been so careful with my diet and it's really helped all his other symptoms, just not his sleep.

To look at him now, he's just like any other baby. I feel quite guilty that I'm now using his piriton to drug him to sleep a little longer and not because his itching is bad. He has been teething for the last month but it's not been that bad.

Every night feels like a battle with him.

NameChange30 Mon 03-Jul-17 22:55:43

Ah so the allergies are under control, that's good.

Maybe it's a habit now, and it's just going to take him a bit of time to break the habit now he's not waking up in discomfort any more?

I think I'd try a sleep consultant if I were you.

Fidget8radish Mon 03-Jul-17 22:59:33

Gosh! I just posted that and saw 9 other messages smile
Thank you!

JoWithABow Mon 03-Jul-17 23:00:08

Is he on solids yet? Maybe things will become clearer when they get introduced? E.g. Maybe he's reacting to something else
You aren't aware of, or perhaps when he has solids he'll be more full up?
It's horrendous but you will eventually be out the other side, hang in there!

ShyTallSun Mon 03-Jul-17 23:05:35

flowers Fidget. I went through similar with DS2 and he did, eventually, become a very sound sleeper but I remember well the feeling of utter despair. I dreaded going to bed as I knew I'd be woken up.

Are you co-sleeping or is he in a cot? In your room or his own?

refred Mon 03-Jul-17 23:11:23

What allergies does he have? DS has multiple allergies and it was tricky with sleep. I agree he is probably reacting to something still.

Is he in a good nap routine in the day?

Dothemash Mon 03-Jul-17 23:13:22

Poor you. No sleep is so hard. We had 2 plus years of very bad sleep. Naps and night times were awful and it took so long to settle each time for such a short amount of sleep! I found it really helpful to just accept that everything is a phase, we had some good periods and some bad, each time a good period came along i thought I've cracked it! But no, just a phase. Once I accepted that it was going to be peaks and troughs, and wasn't waiting for a sudden permanent improvement, I was able to just try and make the best of things to get as much sleep and rest in order to cope. I had a very strict bedtime routine early on which clearly wasn't working and would stress me out as DD wasn't ready for it, and looking back I should have just sat in the front room and cuddled her to sleep whilst watching telly instead of crying in the corner of her dark blackout room feeling rotten whilst she howled!

From aged 2 onwards saw a drastic improvement and proper regular sleep i could rely on. This change came from her, not anything I did. We had a proper routine from very early as I said, but she was probably only responding properly to it from about 15m onwards, but not consisistently until about 2yrs. Now aged 5 I have a FANTASTIC sleeper, been great for years now, she always settles really well. It will come all in good time, it's a bit like potty training, start young and it takes ages or wait until they are ready and they get the hang of it quickly.

Hope this hasn't scared you! I just think I personally would have coped better if I had realistic expectations. Hope this helps you in some way. Good luck and enjoy your baby x

Cathpot Mon 03-Jul-17 23:14:06

Just a thought- ear ache? It's often worse when they lie down-my DD was really prone to long term recurrent ear infections that played havoc with sleep and I kept missing as no other symptoms. You have my deep sympathy - the sleep deprivation is all consuming- it's difficult to imagine now but one day you will tuck him up in bed and be able to turn off the light and walk out.

Fidget8radish Mon 03-Jul-17 23:14:12

We're just starting solids and he unfortunately broke out into hives with potato...(I didn't even realise you can be allergic to potato!)

His day time naps are pretty ok. Usually around 10am, just after lunch and a short nap around 3 or 4, bedtime at 7.

I don't know if I'm missing something medically wrong with him, the paediatricians seemed unfazed, but I need to try something.

Does anyone have experience with a sleep consultant? Would they take on a complicated child?

I wouldn't mind trying a sleep training technique myself but I'm not sure if I've got the confidence to know what I'm doing.

shouldwestayorshouldwego Mon 03-Jul-17 23:21:34

Been there got the (baby vomit) t-shirt. Weaning helped although not without pitfalls when allergies. By around 9 months they were sleeping fairly well and now they are all at school, virtually never wake (once finally chased off to bed). It really does get better. I used to in the darkest hours tell myself that they wouldn't still be doing this when they are 15. They are nowhere near 15 and they no longer wake in the night, come into my bed, need to be bf to sleep etc.

Dothemash Mon 03-Jul-17 23:22:21

Also - this sounds easy but isn't - try and relax. I can't remember the science these days but I'm pretty sure I remembre that stress hormones get passed on in breastmilk, is it cortisol? I'm sure someone more knowledgable can correct me if I'm mistaken, but a happy relaxed mum helps to make a happy and relaxed baby. Which is so hard when you have no sleep and a million things to do and lots of new mum skills to master!

Fidget8radish Mon 03-Jul-17 23:24:51

Dothemash, actually that really has helped! Thank you smileI honestly don't mind doing all of what I'm doing and more if I knew in the back of my mind that eventually it'll all pay off.

educatingarti Mon 03-Jul-17 23:27:35

Has he been on steroid medication or just creams. My experience of being on steroid medication is that I just can't sleep at all. My brain goes into a kind of hyper overdrive where I'm mentally thinking of all sorts of things very rapidly and I would get up and get on with some of those things except my body is too tired. I imagine if a baby was experiencing this he could find it very distressing and might explain why he keeps waking too.

shouldwestayorshouldwego Mon 03-Jul-17 23:28:37

The only starch one of of mine could have were polenta (remarkably useful for adding to mush) and quinoa. Couldn't even manage rice. Wheat was completely out for a couple of years. Potato is part of the same family as deadly nightshade, you might want to avoid a few similar plants - tomatoes, peppers etc. Just take it slowly with introducing things. Fruit, most veg, meat and fish were fine with mine but dairy and starchy foods set them off - not eczema but stomach problems.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Mon 03-Jul-17 23:31:01

Piriton can actually have the reverse effect than you want, worth thinking about. It used to make my ds sleepy but wake through the night.

Lack of sleep is hellishsad

Fidget8radish Mon 03-Jul-17 23:32:23

Actually it's just been really helpful to know that a 5 month old waking up every couple of hours is normal.

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