2.5 still breastfed at night. Won't sleep through. Help!

[Bobcat15]

2.5 year old and 4.5 year old both in single beds in the same room. Bedtime routine is a story together then I will feed 2.5 year old to sleep in his bed and my husband will sit at the end of 4.5 year old’s bed until he is asleep. Time it takes to do this generally varies between 10 - 30 mins. The 4.5 year is then usually asleep for the rest of the night without any problems. However, the 2.5 year old will wake usually around midnight and will cry to be fed back to sleep. It almost always ends up with me bringing him into my bed while my husband sleeps in the single bed. He will feed on and off throughout the night – he will cry until I put the nipple in his mouth. I can’t take much more and I don’t know how to break this cycle. I’m desperate for one of us to just be able to give them their bedtime story and leave them to get off to sleep by themselves. If I want a night out then I will have to feed the toddler to sleep before I go or he just stays awake until I am back. In a few months I will be having an operation and will be away overnight for the first time. I will not be there to comfort him throughout the night. Does anyone have any advice about how I can get him to stop needing me for comfort in between sleep cycles? I know he can get off to sleep by himself as he does it without any problems at nursery.

[Bobcat15]

Sorry title obviously meant to say 2.5 YEAR OLD

[Kabex]

"Son mummy is only feeding you before bed, we don't do it through the night now." Cuddle him, reassure him, calm him but be strict on no feeding

[LapinR0se]

I think you need to go away for 2 nights and let your husband (and another family member if needed) put the 2.5 year old to bed.
Then when you get back you keep your husband doing bedtime. And if there is a fuss you say you are cooking dinner or phoning Granny or something and you'll be up later to say night night.

[sycamore54321]

I know it is way beyond the usual age but can you give him a soother? The situation sounds intolerable for you, and likely bad for his dental health also if he is snacking all night.

Beyond that, I don't know what to suggest other than cold turkey. Perhaps someone more knowledgeable will come along.

Best wishes.

[Backhometothenorth]

Yes I agree with pp- he is old enough for you to tackle this kindly but directly with him- tell him when milk will be available from now on and that he can still have lots of cuddles!! I did this with my two year old- she was a bit upset on the first night so we had a cuddle and a sing until she went off to sleep. She has slept through since that very day- she's five next week

Good luck op- have a few days talking it through with him then stick to your guns!

[Bobcat15]

Thanks everyone! He's old enough to
communicate so I've talked him through it and we'll see what happens tonight. I'll start off with cuddling to sleep and then once we've cracked that I will get daddy to do it whilst I disappear downstairs. He's desperate to be a big boy like his brother so I'm going with that angle. I've a feeling it's going to be a tough though!

[Firstimemum86]

Hi Bobcat, I'm just wondering how you got on with your 2.5 year old? I'm in a similarish boat with my nearly 2 year old. I nurse him off (takes an hour most nights) and if he wakes in night he wants to be nursed back to sleep. Husband has never had to get up in the night ever- not his fault but I am starting to feel like I've had a bit of a raw deal. I don't know how to stop breastfeeding though if I'm honest I wanted to stop when my son was about 9 months. I'm fed up with being pulled and pinched and scratched but can't cope with the meltdown if I refuse because I'm so exhausted. Vicious cycle.

[LoveThemWhileTheyreSmall]

I get it totally. My 2.5 year old is the exact same...also have a 4.5 year old and he gets woken when she screams at night...I've been utterly exhausted feeding 4 times at night til recently til I just got so tired I left her cry.

I co sleep with her so she's not on her own. I try to console her but she won't have any of it. After 3 or 4 nights of me lying there in a sleepy coma she now wakes up and just cuddles into me to go back to sleep.

I do feel bad as she was genuinely distraught looking for it at night but I was just so tired and not functioning during the day. I don't know if I did the right thing or not but I always made sure she knew I was right there beside her. It's important they know you are there to care for them just not for milk at night. I explain now that mommy needs rest at night time and she can have some before bed and again when it gets bright and she seems to understand.

She does wake up and sob a little sometimes still and goes back to sleep but generally sleeps well. She is waking ea bit earlier now as it's bright so early looking for it but we're defintly getting more sleep. You have to look after yourself sometimes but it is so important to do it gently. They're little brains can't reason in the middle of the night

[BIWI]

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