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2.5 still breastfed at night. Won't sleep through. Help!

(8 Posts)
Bobcat15 Fri 02-Jun-17 12:04:44

2.5 year old and 4.5 year old both in single beds in the same room. Bedtime routine is a story together then I will feed 2.5 year old to sleep in his bed and my husband will sit at the end of 4.5 year old’s bed until he is asleep. Time it takes to do this generally varies between 10 - 30 mins. The 4.5 year is then usually asleep for the rest of the night without any problems. However, the 2.5 year old will wake usually around midnight and will cry to be fed back to sleep. It almost always ends up with me bringing him into my bed while my husband sleeps in the single bed. He will feed on and off throughout the night – he will cry until I put the nipple in his mouth. I can’t take much more and I don’t know how to break this cycle. I’m desperate for one of us to just be able to give them their bedtime story and leave them to get off to sleep by themselves. If I want a night out then I will have to feed the toddler to sleep before I go or he just stays awake until I am back. In a few months I will be having an operation and will be away overnight for the first time. I will not be there to comfort him throughout the night. Does anyone have any advice about how I can get him to stop needing me for comfort in between sleep cycles? I know he can get off to sleep by himself as he does it without any problems at nursery.

Bobcat15 Fri 02-Jun-17 12:05:33

Sorry title obviously meant to say 2.5 YEAR OLD blush

Kabex Fri 02-Jun-17 12:08:17

"Son mummy is only feeding you before bed, we don't do it through the night now." Cuddle him, reassure him, calm him but be strict on no feeding

LapinR0se Fri 02-Jun-17 12:10:01

I think you need to go away for 2 nights and let your husband (and another family member if needed) put the 2.5 year old to bed.
Then when you get back you keep your husband doing bedtime. And if there is a fuss you say you are cooking dinner or phoning Granny or something and you'll be up later to say night night.

sycamore54321 Fri 02-Jun-17 12:10:59

I know it is way beyond the usual age but can you give him a soother? The situation sounds intolerable for you, and likely bad for his dental health also if he is snacking all night.

Beyond that, I don't know what to suggest other than cold turkey. Perhaps someone more knowledgeable will come along.

Best wishes.

Backhometothenorth Fri 02-Jun-17 12:13:23

Yes I agree with pp- he is old enough for you to tackle this kindly but directly with him- tell him when milk will be available from now on and that he can still have lots of cuddles!! I did this with my two year old- she was a bit upset on the first night so we had a cuddle and a sing until she went off to sleep. She has slept through since that very day- she's five next week grin

Good luck op- have a few days talking it through with him then stick to your guns! flowers

Bobcat15 Fri 02-Jun-17 16:47:34

Thanks everyone! He's old enough to
communicate so I've talked him through it and we'll see what happens tonight. I'll start off with cuddling to sleep and then once we've cracked that I will get daddy to do it whilst I disappear downstairs. He's desperate to be a big boy like his brother so I'm going with that angle. I've a feeling it's going to be a tough though!

Firstimemum86 Tue 13-Jun-17 05:54:58

Hi Bobcat, I'm just wondering how you got on with your 2.5 year old? I'm in a similarish boat with my nearly 2 year old. I nurse him off (takes an hour most nights) and if he wakes in night he wants to be nursed back to sleep. Husband has never had to get up in the night ever- not his fault but I am starting to feel like I've had a bit of a raw deal. I don't know how to stop breastfeeding though if I'm honest I wanted to stop when my son was about 9 months. I'm fed up with being pulled and pinched and scratched but can't cope with the meltdown if I refuse because I'm so exhausted. Vicious cycle.

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