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How to breAk the breastfed and sleep association

(13 Posts)
Jupitertomars Mon 29-May-17 08:18:21

Im ttying to stop breastfeeding but as DD relies on it to fall asleep during the night, it's proving impossible. 

Any suggestions how ican stop breastfeeding her to sleep. I tried OH to settle her once I'd fed her but she just screamed.

Shes taking A bottle well during the day and I can get her to sleep for naps and bedtime with rocking and music, but during the night when she wakes up I feed her and then she won't settle for another half hour or hour but when she decides she wants to go to sleep she wants boob to fall asleep on.
Otherwise if shes not hungry she'll want it anyway to get to.sleep.

Im at breaking point. I really need help and support from OH but am currently unable to get this.

Please someone help

JohnLapsleyParlabane Mon 29-May-17 08:20:43

How old is your baby? And why is her dad not supporting you properly?

Jupitertomars Mon 29-May-17 08:22:14

She is 8.5 months old.

He tries but she only wants me to get to sleep.

MooPointCowsOpinion Mon 29-May-17 08:26:10

Can you stop other feeds but let her keep the bedtime one? They drop it when they're ready usually, one day my girl just rolled away and fell asleep without it.
Otherwise I'd say a dummy, the sucking might help with a cuddle from you.

Jupitertomars Mon 29-May-17 08:27:45

Last night for example she went to bed fine at 7pm. She had a very big breastfeed and then I rocked her to sleep.

She woke at 9pm. I knew she wasnt hungry so OH went to resettle her. She was fighting sleep and would eventually fall asleep but then wake back up seconds later. This continued until 9.30.

I went up at 9.30 and tried to settle her with music and rocking. She wouldnt settle so I eventually breastfed her at 10.30pm and she was asleep in seconds.

Then she got up at 4am. I breastfed her but she was awake so I lay her in her cot and sat beside it holding her hand and singing.

At 4.45 she decided she wanted to go back to sleep. I ask OH to try to settle her as she wasnt settling for me.

She wouldnt settle at all. So I eventually went in and breastfed her at half past 5 and again she was asleep in seconds

Jupitertomars Mon 29-May-17 08:30:27

She refuses a dummy.

Im honestly at breaking point. She wakes several times a night. Im bursting into tears with the lack of sleep. Last night was a good night.

Last week she was up every hour and then othertimes she wouldn't go back to sleep for hours again.

FATEdestiny Mon 29-May-17 09:48:04

If breastfeeding is her comfort, you will need to replace that comfort with something else. Maybe a special soft toy or blanket?

Use the comforter whenever breastfeeding so she learns to associate it with the comforter feeling she gets when breastfeeding.

This will be no quick fix, it will take her time to bond properly with the comforter enough to replace breastfeeding. In the mean-time, you might be best maximising your sleep whilst breastfeeding. Have you tried a sidecar cot?

Jupitertomars Mon 29-May-17 12:06:43

Thanks ill try the comforter. She was ina side crib next to my bed but she kept rolling over into me and she outgrew it. I was debating about cosleeping with a with her but honestly I feel I need space. Shes so incredibly clingy, im not exaggerating when I say she wont be put down without crying and no one can hold her except me.

And I dont want to deal with weaning her off breastfeeding and also cosleeping in months to come.

Can anyone comment on our current schedule to see if im going wrong anywhere.
This is a typical day but it can vary but generally..

5:30 - awake
6 - milk
7 - breakfast
8:30 - nap
10 - awake
11 - milk
12:30 - lunch
2 - nap
3/3:30 - awake
4 - milk
5:30 - dinner
6:30 - milk
7pm - bedtime
Between 9-11pm awake and milk
Between 2-4am awake and milk
Sometimes at the 2-4am wake she refuses to go back to sleep for upto 1.5 hours.

GruffaloPants Mon 29-May-17 12:16:41

Look up the Jay Gordon method. I can't remember the details, but it is a baby friendly approach to reducing the BF-sleep association and worked for me (DD1 was a bit older).

GruffaloPants Mon 29-May-17 12:19:55

Your schedule seems fine. I don't think your doing anything wrong. She just finds BF a pleasant comfort to help her get back to sleep when she stirs.

My first baby was very like yours, sometimes waking more than once an hour. I thought I might die from sleep deprivation. The second is much easier, just has a different nature. flowers

Jupitertomars Mon 29-May-17 12:21:01

Thanks for the suggestion, I'll be looking that up as soon as I get a moment.

Oshbosh Mon 29-May-17 12:25:05

This was /is me with my almost 1 year old. However I had a night away at the weekend and DH just had to settle him. They did fine! DS is a bottle refuser but took 2 sucks from one and went back over twiddling the teat. It went so well I took myself to the spare room last night and it went ok again.I heard him cry out a few times on protest nut no sobbing. I think he is just ready. Sorry that's probably not much good to you but previously when we tried DH settling him I was in the bed too and he just wanted me...Could you move out of the room for a few nights?

FATEdestiny Mon 29-May-17 13:03:30

Could you take one side off your full sized cot and wedge it up to your bed?

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