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Cuddles and co sleep through sleep regression?

(53 Posts)
blue2014 Fri 05-May-17 15:52:08

Am I doing the wrong thing? DS seems to have hit a sleep regression - he will settle back to sleep with a cuddle but won't sleep for more than an hour unless I bring him to bed with me (usually in a sleepyhead)

Am I creating bad habits - do babies just grow out of the sleep regression or do I need to be teaching him to sleep somehow?

RatOnnaStick Fri 05-May-17 15:55:50

Depends on the age. Under about 18m I would definitely go with cuddles and cosleep. Over that it's a judgment call.

blue2014 Fri 05-May-17 16:23:31

He's 5 months

RatOnnaStick Fri 05-May-17 16:54:28

Tiny then smile. Cosleep and cuddle to your heart's content for as long as it works for you both. Ignore anyone who says different. As they grow you learn to secretly appreciate the little feet creeping in at 3am occasionally for a snuggle, even when they're six or seven.

blue2014 Fri 05-May-17 17:44:05

Thanks - I don't mind him being in with me at all smile it means I have to kick DH out but he doesn't seem to mind either.

I just hear people say I should be teach him to self soothe (he sucks his thumb but weirdly can't seem to find it as well as he used to in the night) and I don't want to be making his life harder if I should be teaching him something that would help?

Last night he was just bolt awake for 2 hours until I brought him in with me then he went straight to sleep

LilaG Fri 05-May-17 18:34:34

I'm having the same dilemma! We've been battling with sleep regression since 4months...DS is now 6months 🙈😴 He basically wakes 1-2hourly too and I think I'll need a new hall landing carpet the amount of trips back and forth to his room all night for 2months now 😱
Like you...I've been trying to persevere for fear of creating 'bad habits' but I'm at the end of my rope now and feel no amount of gentle 'sleep training' seems to be making any difference.
Last night I did dream feed at 10pm (as normal) and when he woke at 11pm I just thought f**k this 😂 and I put him back in the snuzpod attached to my bed. You can imagine my surprise when toddler (3.5) burst into my room at 06:30 and woke us all up!! I cudnt believe it!!
I'm with you tho....can't help but feel this will become a habit if I don't keep trying to get him used to his own room sooner or later? And of course some people are of the opinion that the later you leave it he harder it will be 😕
The sleep regressions are hard enough...wouldn't it be gr8 if it was ok to co-sleep during these phases knowing the babies would revert back to 'normal' sleeping afterwards 🤣

blue2014 Fri 05-May-17 19:41:18

Lila -my DS is still sleeping in a crib next to me, he's actually closer in the crib than the king sized bed hmm

blue2014 Fri 05-May-17 21:07:26

Sorry didn't reply fully smile so it puzzles me why he's happier in bed than next to me. I have wondered about body heat maybe? But otherwise he can see me better and is closer to hear my breathing when in crib.

Am planning to start a routine in the upcoming weeks and see if it makes a difference and then we go on holiday so it can all go to shit again confused

blue2014 Sat 06-May-17 10:46:59

Does anyone have ideas of why he's happier in sleepyhead in bed rather than in crib? It makes no sense to me?

Bella1985 Sat 06-May-17 12:07:29

The sleep regressions are hard enough...wouldn't it be gr8 if it was ok to co-sleep during these phases knowing the babies would revert back to 'normal' sleeping afterwards 🤣

I'm 2 weeks in and this ^^ is my only plan at the minute. sad combined with a manic grin

Sorry blue no answers. DS slept 4.5hrs total last night in mini bursts so I'm frantically trawling the internet for answers confused

stealthbanana Sat 06-May-17 13:58:30

<waves at blue and bella>

Watching with interest - DS hasn't hit the regression yet but he is an awful mapper and usually if he's in a non napping mood I can only get him to sleep by cuddling him up to my stomach in bed - which is really dangerous if I'm tired!

Bella1985 Sat 06-May-17 14:14:12

Hi Stealth! Long time no speak!! Hope things are well!

It seems that not all babies go through the regression with such a bumpy ride so you could be lucky!! It's hard to stay awake when there's a lovely warm hot water bottle I mean baby on your stomach!

blue2014 Sat 06-May-17 15:49:25

Hi stealthsmile bluelet naps much better on me too (I don't mind - it's my mumsnet time!)

I just don't like it not being logical (yes I know, clearly I'm insane) if you are tired, sleep! It's driving me crazy not being able to figure out the factor that makes a difference once he's in bed with me (he is honestly closer in the crib) .. it's now like a mini science experiment!

Ineedacupofteadesperately Sat 06-May-17 18:56:05

Oh god in middle of this too - DD sleeping pretty well until 4 months. Now often up 1-2 hourly, not doing anything different. Lots of drool so teething perhapS? What is supposed to cause sleep regression?

blue2014 Sat 06-May-17 20:23:58

Cupoftea- it's caused by a developmental change to more adult sleep patterns so they're more often in the light sleep stage (so you're DD seems to be waking each time she hits the light sleep stage of her sleep cycle)

Current advice is to keep it as dark as possible and help with any self soothing strategies

user1491810905 Sat 06-May-17 20:37:03

During the 4 month sleep regression we very very gently 'sleep trained' our son by co sleeping with him. He's a fantastic sleeper now smile

Myself or DH would go up with him at bedtime and cuddle him until he was asleep. Anytime he woke he would be cuddled or fed back to sleep depending on when he had last fed.

Over a period of about 2/3 weeks, we put more distance between ourselves and DS. So. From full on cuddling down to a little one sided cuddle, to holding his hand, to eventually lying next to him and just patting. EVENTUALLY we were able to pat him to comfort him even when he woke up in the middle of the night, which made it much easier. Once he was falling asleep alone, with just a few pats and some company, probably about 6 months, we moved him from the bedside cot into a cot in his own room.

blue2014 Sat 06-May-17 22:22:15

Thanks user 😊 that's helpful

Ineedacupofteadesperately Sat 06-May-17 22:58:01

Thanks blue and user. Need to get blackout blinds, our bedroom is far too light. Another thing to do when I'm knackered. God, just finding things so hard at the moment. Just want to sit and watch line of duty and stop worrying that everything I'm doing is wrong, for both my DC. If only I was less tired.... I do occasionally cosleep with DD but only when DH isn't in the bed as he's a really deep sleeper and neither of us feel it's safe with him there. It's a last resort for when I'm so tired I feel like I'll die if I don't get some sleep......the rest of the time she's in a cot next to our bed so I can pat her etc while still in our bed. I like your plan user, I might try that. I really don't want to just let her cry and the longer she cries the more she seems to wake up.

Bella1985 Sun 07-May-17 03:02:09

user thanks for sharing. Does sound better than CIO...I now need to get DS less dependant on bfeeding as any form of hug from me is far too close to the food source and he starts rooting... confused

Things have gone from exhausting to plain ridiculous tonight. His longest stretch of sleep at the start of the night lasted drumroll 1.5hrs. We've then had a couple of 45minute length sleeps before waking but the latest stretch lasted 25minutes - what the actual f**ck?! I'm hoping he'll decide to have a nice 4 hour sleep to end the night but pigs may fly before that happens!

AprilShowers16 Sun 07-May-17 03:29:56

I started co sleeping with our LO when he hit the 4 month sleep regression. In my experience the worst part was until 6 months and then he seemed to settle down a bit and became easier to transfer back to the cot etc. I carried on co sleeping though as he was still waking 3 times a night and it was the best way for us both to get the most sleep. At 6 months I also started putting him in his cot in the evening and then at 8 months for his naps too. Now at 9 months I'm gradually extending the time be spends in his cot (depending on how often he wakes up). It's slow going and I don't mind spending part of the night with him but I had got to a point with co sleeping (having loved it for all those months) that I was ready to have my own space back and he was crawling so it was getting a bit dangerous.

I am a big advocate of just doing whatever works for you and will get you the most sleep. Yes it might take some perseverance to get your baby back to cot sleeping but you can do it in a gentle way when you're both ready rather than trying to force it now and stressing you both out! And for what it's worth I have found co sleeping one of my unexpected favourite times of parenting

Ineedacupofteadesperately Sun 07-May-17 10:45:42

Oh god Bella, I'm with you. DD woke up EVERY SINGLE HOUR last night and then at 8am started to smile and laugh at me!!! OK, my heart did melt but I was also just WTF?!!! The last time she slept any significant stretch of time was after vaccinations. I may try calpol tonight, just in case it's partly teeth.

Yes, same here with the bfing (the rooting whenever she's on me), but I do it anyway in the middle of the night because am just desperate to get her back to sleep. Is it possible to overfeed a bf baby? Sometimes she's sick after I feed her and I'm sure it's because she just wanted comfort, not food.

The thing I find the hardest is just that when I'm this tired I just can't seem to do ANYTHING efficiently so in terms of implementing any kind of sleep training I just feel I can't. I walk upstairs and then wonder what the F I've come up here for (and end up on Mumsnet!) - I can't remember basic things let alone implement any kind of plan.....

blue2014 Sun 07-May-17 11:54:58

I'll be back later (if DS EVER naps, he has spent hours fighting it!) but cup -DD doesn't have reflux does she? How old is she? DS was a terrible sleeper before he was reflux medicated

blue2014 Sun 07-May-17 12:18:19

Thanks for the advice April - I needed permission to just let him do what he needs right now

flowers to my lovely fellow regression-ers

teaandbiscuitsforme Sun 07-May-17 12:42:16

I agree with April - do what you can to maximise the sleep!

With DD, I tried all the getting her to sleep for longer, sleep in her cot, not feed to sleep etc techniques. It was stressful and I was exhausted! By about 6/7 months, I'd given up and accepted cosleeping, especially with going back to work on the horizon.

DS is 17 weeks now (keeping my fingers crossed we have an easier ride with the 4 month regression!!) but I've just BF and coslept from the start. We get so much more sleep this way and I've been a lot less tired this time round than I was just with DD.

So my point is don't stress and go with whatever works for you to get you through. If you cosleep, enjoy it, doesn't mean it's forever!

Bella1985 Sun 07-May-17 13:43:29

I definitely feel better now that I've embraced the go with the flow feeling. I don't sit on the sofa feeling guilty that he's asleep in my arms, I just think it's important that he sleeps full stop! I wish I had listened to this at the early weeks of having a baby, I put so much pressure on myself during the early days to get sleep 'right', I made life so much worse for myself!

flowers and cake to us all!!

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