Screw naps!!! Bollocks to you!!!

(8 Posts)
fruityb Tue 18-Apr-17 10:11:44

My son is an absolute nightmare with naps. He gets grouchy and moany about two and a bit hours after waking and will practically be asleep on me. I put him in his cot and he screams the fucking house down. He rolls around his cot, gets his legs stuck in the bars, yells like there's no tomorrow and will not settle at all. I can quite often put him down and he'll nod off, but not until he's had a meltdown for a few minutes - it's very rare he's quiet and then snoozes. I am sick of this and had enough. If I go get him he's fine and starts playing - or he'll continue whinging. I can't stand the noise, it's like someone is hurting him and I can't leave him as he's obviously distressed. It's awful.

He can be the same in the afternoon though will usually go to sleep much easier than the morning. I cannot fucking bear it.

We were with family at the weekend and he had half an hour nap between 12 and 8!! He's nearly 8 months and while he still slept through it was a little disturbed and I had to go in to him once or twice when I normally don't have to at all. However it wasn't hard and he went straight back to sleep once he had his dummy back.

I cannot cope with this meltdown when he won't nap so bollocks I'm not doing it anymore. He can sleep when he needs to and wherever for now. I gain absolutely nothing out of this - I spend the whole time he's screaming on edge and end up getting mad when he won't sleep which is ridiculous. He sleeps all night and is a happy boy generally - I am not stressing us both out anymore. I'm back at work in four weeks so whatever I set up now will change when he's with a childminder.

I needed to vent this - it's a battle im not fighting anymore. I need to stop reading stuff about sleep needs and such as I just get stressed. Plus our routine isn't the same daily as we have groups at different times and who the heck lives their lives exactly the same each day??

Screw it!!

FATEdestiny Tue 18-Apr-17 10:40:34

It's fine, stop worrying! If he's happy and not tired, don't worry.

If he falls asleep in your arms, sit yoyrself yourself down and enjoy the cuddle and the rest yourself.

If he needs a nap and it's too stressful, go for a long car ride or push the pushchair back and forth.

Really no reason to waste the last month of your maternity stressing like this. You are right, you need to stop reading stuff. Everything will change when ypu are back to work anyway, so its pointless stressing anyway.

fruityb Tue 18-Apr-17 10:57:50

I've just decided no more - I do this when I'm on my own so much. I stress about anything that doesn't need it. He's never been a massive daytime sleeper - even at a few weeks old he was pretty alert and didn't put in the hours I've seen other babies do! He's still happily playing now and has been up since eight. He'll probably want a snuggle soon and a sleep, and I like that. You can't make someone who doesn't want to sleep have a sleep, no matter how old they are. There's too much going on for him to switch off sometimes. He's crawling and the world is just too interesting. He sleeps in the car pretty well so I know he snoozes then. I just can't do the crying anymore! He goes down at night so well, either fast asleep or when he's drowsy, and sleeps all night as he has done from pretty early on. It's really not worth the headache anymore!

singingpinkmonkey Tue 18-Apr-17 16:47:36

Fruityb I am in the same position as you with my 12 week old son!

He has always been alert and has never napped well. I spent this Easter Weekend mostly in tears trying to get him to nap because the books say he should nap a certain amount. Balls to it!

I have put myself through the ringer over naps since he was born and seem to be forever in the car, out with the pram, rocking him or shush patting to get him to sleep and quite frankly it's made us both cry!

I can't put myself through any more guilty days and getting frustrated. He seems happy enough and sleeps well at night so why the hell should my precious time with him on maternity leave be ruined!

Sod off naps!! wink

fruityb Tue 18-Apr-17 19:48:31

I think it's the only way to go! He's never been a constant sleeper - except when he was newborn for about three weeks. He's always had awake time and I got myself in such a stress. People didn't believe me when I said about him but it was true! He's happy and sociable and enjoying exploring. Yes when it's just me and him he can be moany but as soon as we go out he's awesome - I've never ever worried about going anywhere with him.

So screw it - he can cuddle me or he can sleep in his bed. I've got four weeks to enjoy every minute before I go to work and enjoy it I will.

RedLemonade Tue 18-Apr-17 20:26:16

Hats off to you fruityb

My DD1 was the same. The stress of it nearly finished me off in the early months, but once I accepted that she just wasn't a sleepy baby, that lack of naps wasn't going to impede her development, and, crucially, that she didn't actually owe me any naps, life became a lot sweeter.

She slept on long walks or in my arms for a bit; I got more organised when she went down for the night on the understanding that I wouldn't be getting any "off" time during the day. She'd still happily potter on a playmat or sit in the highchair watching me cook. In fact I had a hell of a lot more time to get shit done when I wasn't spending a tearful hour trying to get her to sleep.

Cheers!wine

fruityb Tue 18-Apr-17 20:49:41

He doesn't owe me - that's how I feel. He's fine and if he gets stressed and sleeps when I cuddle him then I'm just sticking with that. And yes, accepted I don't get any off time and any I do is a bonus. He loves being out and about and he's so sociable with others. He's obviously fine and obviously doing well so sod it. He's awake now as I've let him have some up time due to being in his car seat or held all afternoon while we've been out and about. He's laid on the floor chatting and clapping and playing and so happy. Yes he's late to bed but he's happy.

fruityb Thu 20-Apr-17 11:57:21

Hilarious - since posting this he's had a 90 minute nap last yesterday afternoon no problem and straight down for an hour and a bit this morning. Little bugger!

He was asleep with his bum in the air as well - 😍 He's so bloody cute

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