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Near 3 year old still not sleeping through

(4 Posts)
ebaxter Mon 10-Apr-17 23:10:38

I'm not sure where to start other than to say my daughter has never slept through for more than 2 nights in a row and this happens about once a month if I'm lucky.

As a baby she was a terrible sleeper, barely slept in the day unless held and would wake within minutes of being put down. I slept on a mattress in her room until she was 7 months when she would only wake once or twice a night so I finally made it back to my own bed. (she never settled in our room or in a moses basket so at 4 weeks she was in her own room in a cot).

She'd only be nursed by me but at 7 months I finally got her to take a bottle (tried lots of other methods) and thus started her love of bottles. She would wake once or twice a night for milk. This continued until just before Xmas this year when she started to wake 3/4 times a night.

It affected her eating the next day and was exhausting so we decided to go cold turkey. One very tearful night where we kept reassuring her and she seemed to settle. Actually slept through on the second night. this was short lived though and she now woke and wouldn't settle unless we stayed with her.

We decided to move her to a single bed (she was in cot with side off) when I had to get in it with her one night to get her to sleep! This made bedtimes much nicer we could lay on the bed with her to do stories as opposed to sit in a chair.

From a few months old she generally settled well after stories, she is ok now although cries alot/sings/shouts sometimes if she can't sleep straight away. We go in and reassure her but we try to not stay with her until she falls asleep as we understand the association she can make.

She still wakes though and has now started having what can only be described as tantrums. I thought she was sleeping but she quietens down quickly if my husband goes to her, not me though and she can carry on like this for some time. On a good night this happens once or twice, on a bad night it is 3 to 5 times.

We have two other children so are always conscious of her waking them and so we try not to leave her for too long before we go in. Any help or advice is appreciated as we are quite literally fed up and very tired.

I can't imagine actually not having to get up every night. My body has at least learnt how to cope with it. I suffered from insomnia when she was born and that was horrible. I can normally get back to sleep now fairly quickly.

Sorry for the long post. Thanks in advance.

FATEdestiny Tue 11-Apr-17 17:12:53

Have you tried having her bed or cot at the side of your bed, in your bedroom?

Realistically, any other method that isn't you just staying with her (her room or yours) is likely to cause a lot of crying and/or exhaustion. You said you didn't want screaming.

So it comes down to setting your priorities - no tears and everyone gets more sleep but accepting tgat she's likely to be in with you until you can bribe her out of it (2 or 3 years maybe). Or lots of frustrated screaming, probably keeping everyone awake but making her realise you won't be pandering to get in the night.

ebaxter Tue 11-Apr-17 20:27:16

Our youngest son used to come in bed with us for about two years and we've not long got him out of it and tbh i never slept great when he was doing that.

Its kind of which is the lesser evil i suppose. I keep thinking she'll grow out of it. We are on holiday soon and she'll be in a room with us so it'll be interesting to see if she is any different.

Matilda1981 Tue 11-Apr-17 20:30:57

I have no suggestions I'm afraid other than to say my eldest didn't start sleeping through until she started school last September! She's still a bit hit and miss tho - her younger sister (who is nearly 4) has consistently slept through the night since she was about 8 months old!! They now share a room and actually this helped the eldest I think!

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