My 3 month old is waking up all through the night!(39 Posts)
I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do and starting to go a bit insane from the broken sleep!! My DD is EBF. She had been sleeping for around 6-7 hours between 7 and around 1am then waking for a feed and sleeping again until 6am. This was working fine for us and giving me a decent amount of sleep considering her age. She was swaddled in a swaddle me blanket which she loved and helped her sleep and she wouldn't go to sleep without it but she is a very strong girl for 13 weeks old and weights 14 pounds and she had started struggling and breaking out of the swaddle which resulted in her waking up and crying many many times a night Resulting in me having to re swaddle her and feed her before she would settle again. So it was almost a vicious cycle, can't settle without the swaddle but then breaks out of it! So we bought a love to
Dream swaddle up which is a bit looser with her arms upwards and she seemed to be ok with it so we were putting her down at around 7 as usual but she is now waking at about 11 then I put her down after the 11pm feed and she wakes almost every hour and wants to be fed after that until 6am then she has 2 hours until 8am. It's almost like clockwork and it's been going on for over 2 weeks now I am so exhausted I'm close to tears most nights. I've even tried going to bed when she does but it's just not practical because I want to spend time with my DH when she is in bed and I've tried putting her to bed later but she just gets very grizzly and needs her bed. She has about 3 naps in the day one at around 10am
For an hour, one at 12 for about an hour and a half and then one at 3 for around an hour. If I go out she sleeps a lot in her pram and sleeps if she's in the car. People keep saying she's having a growth spurt but surely it shouldn't last this long? I'm at my wits end!
No idea but am following with interest to see what others say. Both DD1 and DD2 slept from 7-11ish and then woke almost hourly til they were 8 months. Dreading DD3 doing the same. I know you want to spend time with your husband but is there any point if you're totally exhausted?!! The sleep you were getting until two weeks ago was a bonus frankly and not the norm!
Just remember, this too shall pass!
This sounds normal OP - sorry! Look up 4 month sleep regression. You might have to just sleep when baby sleeps for a while, especially if EBF.
As they grow, babies go through lots of sleep 'ups and downs' and advice is quite polarised between those who prefer to leave babies to cry in order to get some shut-eye and those who co-sleep etc.
I think from you've said it all comes down to her being unable to settle herself to sleep so her sleep association was the swaddle or being fed to sleep.
When she's put down for the night try to do the bedtime routine, bath feed then into the crib/cot awake to get to sleep herself. I've read that at 3/4 months they change from a newborn sleep pattern where they will sleep through anything to a sleep pattern like ours where they cycle through deep and light sleep and without the right sleep association i.e. Getting herself to sleep can't go back without a feed/cuddle etc. It's called the 4 month sleep regression normally, if you search that on here there are loads of threads with practical advice
At 3 months you are very lucky to have an ebf baby sleeping that long. All.sounds normal. They have dvelopmental leaps which can cause theme to wake in night . Just follow baby's lead and feed when they wake. Just cos they start to sleep a good solid block does not mean they will.continue too. Sorry buy it sounds very normal for such a young baby
Co sleeping may be your savior . It was mine xx
What Yoko said, it sounds pretty normal. Just when you think you're starting to figure stuff out they become differently demanding.
I would concentrate on keeping her routine as simple and straightforward as possible, don't let her get overtired.
Spending quality time with your DH at this stage is a nice to have.
Getting some sleep is a must have.
Yes I've heard of the 4 month sleep regression but thought she may not be quite at that stage yet! Wishful thinking obviously! I'm only awake now because she is tossing and turning and keeping me awake. My husband is loud and tends to wake her when he comes to bed as well which doesn't help!!!! I thought that it might have been the swaddle that disrupted her and if we got her into a zip up one it would help but it hasn't clearly! She feeds for a while each time she wakes and appears to want a feed so maybe she is growing a lot at the moment and needing the extra milk. She sleeps in a Chicco cot next to me at the moment so I have to get up to get her but luckily not too far away. god I don't think I can face another 5 months of this
Yy to co-sleeping! My DD fed consistently every 40 mins to an hour for 20-30 mins at this age. It nearly broke us! But a few weeks later things settled. Hope you get some sleep soon
I'm actually astounded parents believe a three month old should be sleeping through ............ granted some do- but most ebf babies wake frequently at this age as nature intended them too .......
Umm sorry op but what do you mean by "don't think I can face another 5 months of this?"
Being brutally frank, you should expect years of bad sleep.
Sounds normal! DC1 didn't go 6hrs until 2y +, DC2 was 4 before he went through the night. They were both waking every 90 mins at 6 months. I still wake up automatically at 1am and 4am, and so does my mother - more than 40 years after I started sleeping through!!! You'll get used to it. I'm a lot more productive on a lot less sleep than I used to be.
I would say if she has been a good sleeper up until now then there a good chance she will go back to being a good sleeper, so don't worry.
I would say don't feed hourly and find a new way to get her to sleep. This is the key age for reverse cycling (google it) which can go on for forever and prime habit forming time. Either pat, rock or cuddle and do the same for naps.
Average awake time at this age is 1.5 hours, so she's awake too long before bed. Try and squeeze another nap in if possible.
Not all babies wake constantly through the night it isn't something you have to just put up with. Saying that each baby is individual some sleep some don't just keep trying different things it will help you stay sane. I am just about to put my 4 month old down and she will sleep till about 4 then disturb I'll have to resettle her with a dummy then she'll go till 6 then it's in with me till we get up at 7. My 4 year old was the same but my 15 year old horrific woke every hour so I co- slept. Just do what works go to bed same time as her one night then next night stay up with DH
Yeah this is normal, unfortunately, but that doesn't mean it isn't shit and rubbish and hard work there is a growth spurt at 3 months, and there's a "regression" at 4 months. It's common for babies to "sleep through" for a few weeks at around 2-3 months, then it all falls apart quite suddenly.
They start experiencing more mature sleep cycles of around 45 minutes each, and can wake after each one. Adults experience the same thing, but we don't wake completely, and we know how to put ourselves back to sleep without a crutch (a feed, a cuddle, rocking, etc). She's far too young to self-soothe yet, but at around 8/9 months you can think about sleep training and teaching her to self-settle, which will help her stretch out those sleep cycles.
Just ride it out and get through it however you can
Actually I don't believe she should be sleeping through and I didn't expect her to but waking this much for example 8 times a night when I'm not used to it is a bit of a shock to the system for a new mum.... Also I shouldn't have to expect years of sleep this bad, I'm not in any way adverse to waking up with my daughter I chose to breastfeed her but she won't be waking up 8 times a night for years! I was just asking to see if anyone had any advice!
Thankyou for re assurance some really nice comments that have made me feel much better, I will try not to let her get over tired and keep her in a routine. She actually had a lot better night last night and only woke at 1 and 5 which was a huge huge improvement, I'm definitely going to ride it out as I intend to continue to breastfeed her as long as she needs it.
BF babies go through phases of waking more in the night - building supply, growth spurt developmental leap, etc. Beware, as soon as you feel like things are going well again, they'll change the pattern and you'll be thrown back into chaos!
But in all seriousness, if you would like to BF reasonably long term, it is one of those things you just have to go with. Co-sleeping overnight can be a huge help and try to get as many feeds and naps in during the day. Also, try to have at least one nap where you can lie down too (feed to sleep lying down in your bed is easiest) because you need to get some rest too!
My DD started sleeping through 7-7 at 18 months after some gentle night weaning. For some that's far too long to have disturbed nights. For us and many others, it's just what you do. My DS is now 13 weeks and sometime wakes once, sometimes 3 or 4 times. I try not to count! We've not had a truly awful night yet but I know it's coming at some point!
I don't think it is part of the course with breastfeeding tbh.
Breastfeeding is such a lovely comforting thing to do with your baby and it's instinctive to feed when they wake at night but as they get bigger, it's worth putting the effort in to sooth them back to sleep another way. If nothing else it means someone else can do it.
If a formula fed baby was waking hourly, most mum's would not be making up bottles every 60mins, they would be settling them if possible without feeding. This is key to better sleep.
Op pleased you had a better night. Hourly wake up are shit (been there) and unless there's an underlying issue (reflux, allergies) it's in no way normal for babies to wake hourly for months on end.
Thank you the comments are appreciated. She does come into my bed sometimes and if we are at home then I do try to nap with her if I can which does help I was just interested to hear other people's experiences because even being a new mum I can realise all babies are different and won't follow the same patterns!
Gosh that sounds really tough- such a change from really great sleep to going back to newborn patterns.
I have no advice but have my fingers crossed for you that things will improve. My DS is 12 weeks and has started his next leap (wonder weeks) which has affected how often he feeds including at night. I have my fingers crossed things will improve when it's over.
With dd I used to swaddle her in a thin giant muslin square, pop her at the bottom of her crib then fold another thin muslin and place it across her arms/torso and tuck it under each side of the mattress as an additional thing to keep her snug. She bloody loved it!
Thank you blossom, I love wonder weeks it's great to see what they may be doing next developmentally. Like I said in my earlier post I'm fully prepared for sleep deprivation but it is hard to be that sleep deprived when you're trying to do the best for your baby in the daytime and are exhausted. She has had 4 naps today and was happy and content when I put her down for bed so will see if she repeats the good night she had last night! Thanks nap queen I have a zip up swaddle now that she likes but am going to start leaving one arm out soon to wean her off it as I think she is getting too big for it now.
My 7 month old goes through phases of wanting to feed every hour and it's exhausting so I know how you feel. We do part time co-sleeping where she ends up in out bed after her first waking which is usually around 11pm. If you can get your partner to settle your little one now and again you may find she doesn't need a feed every hour..perhaps she's just after comfort. Otherwise like others have said it may be a growth spurt!
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