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4 month sleep regression breaking me. Please helpppppp! Argghhhhhhh

(22 Posts)
TeaMuncher Wed 05-Apr-17 07:58:51

My already rubbish-sleeping DS is now waking every 1/2hrs to feed back to sleep (or like last night, just generally be awake)

DD (4) needs me and I'm just a shadow of her mama. DH doesn't/can't really help, and then buggers off to work in the day (I realise this is not optional for him, but doesn't stop it being bloody annoying).

Oh and DS naps for 23-30mins max in the day.

Argghhhhhhh! Please help me!

FATEdestiny Wed 05-Apr-17 13:03:56

Have you tried a dummy?

If naps are short in the day, keep them frequent to avoid over tiredness. So 40-60 minutes awake and then another nap - repeated all day long.

Don't worry about how baby gets to sleep, just go with the mantra of "any sleep, any how, any where". Just focus on more sleep, however that happens. Limit awake time to short bursts.

Lots and lots of feeding in the daytime to calorie load. Then dummy as much as possible at night to see if you can settle to sleep without feeding.

CottonSock Wed 05-Apr-17 13:07:30

I stopped feeding to sleep. There were tears... I feel your pain though

TeaMuncher Wed 05-Apr-17 13:44:40

FATEdestiny thanks that's good advice!

I just struggle to get more than 3 naps in (4 on a good day) especially with DD around. I literally have to walk the pram (and not stop or god forbid go inside a shop or other building!) or drive around (again not stopping!), transferring from the car to pram (even still in car seat) wakes him. Sometimes if I'm lucky he'll feed to sleep for 30mins in the house confused All not very conducive to having more than one child. Or do you think I shouldn't be hung up on the length of nap, and just opt for short sharp bursts? Ie 10mins in the car, 10 mins in the sling, etc...

FATEdestiny Wed 05-Apr-17 14:04:16

You need lots more naps if they sre short. By short I mean half an hour or so. 10 minutes is neither here nor there, baby isn't going to get any restorative sleep in that short time.

If baby likes movement to sleep, have you tried a bouncy chair?

Naps in bouncers are especially great when you have other children. It means you can park yourself on the sofa, baby in bouncer at your feet and just keep on relentlessly and continually bouncing with your foot. It keep a your hands free to drink tea play with the toddler.

Definately Definitely the dummy though. Dummy is the game changer.

TeaMuncher Wed 05-Apr-17 14:31:51

Am persevering with the dummy, but it's sadly not greatly received sad It was magic for DD, not so much for DS, he smells a rat!

Have tried bouncy chair, but not fully persevered with it yet and the cover is currently in the wash covered in poo so I'll try again this avo.

LapinR0se Wed 05-Apr-17 14:38:24

The feeding to sleep is the problem. Once you can get the baby to sleep off the boob, he will sleep much longer

JumpSturdy Wed 05-Apr-17 15:13:51

* Once you can get the baby to sleep off the boob, he will sleep much longer*

Really? That's not my experience. There's no correlation with DD between how she gets to sleep and how long she stays off. Is that based on your experience with your kids or have you read it somewhere?

LapinR0se Wed 05-Apr-17 17:34:01

It's based on seeing over 300 babies have sleep consultations. I worked for a sleep consultant for a while.

ForeverBubblegum Wed 05-Apr-17 20:37:22

Hi, no advice unfortunately but I'm having the same problem just a month further in.

I'm ​completely on board with the getting them to sleep without boob theory (if nothing else would mean DH could contribute more) but have no idea how to achieve this.

Any veterans of sleep regression able to share there pearls of wisdom?

Ebbenmeowgi Thu 06-Apr-17 11:15:37

I'm also having the same issue with our 4 month old! At the moment she wants to be permanently attached to the nipple all night. That would be fine but she's started waking up to cry when previously she'd stay lying down pretty much all night (we co sleep).

She wouldn't take a dummy previously but has started to sort of be happy to take one now, so will try using that at night time to see if it helps.

Her naps have gone rubbish as well! Same as op, only half hour or so. She used to happily nap a couple hours in the sling but it seems to have lost its magic!

I think I might have accidently messed up her sleep recently as I'm quite stressed (family member is seriously ill) - am spending today concentrating on naps though. Hope it improves for you op soon.

riddles26 Thu 06-Apr-17 18:36:21

I have every bit of sympathy too, have been going through same thing. My one has always been an awful napper (have tried pretty much everything possible to get her down for a nap) but was a good night sleeper pre-regression so at least she used to get some restorative sleep each night. When the 90 minute waking started all night, it became a disaster and she's permanently overtired. I resorted to kicking my husband out and co-sleeping just so we both could get some rest with her.

She is a dummy refuser too and absolutely despises me putting her in bouncy chair or swing for a nap - cries and screams until she is taken out. Like a pp, I also found letting her nap with nipple in her mouth doesn't allow her to get into deep enough sleep and she just wants it to keep it in her mouth for the entire nap, wakes the second I try withdraw (didn't have this problem at night strangely enough)

I've started sleep training with PU/PD method and she's definitely starting to link sleep cycles - have been having the odd good night plus had a 2+ hr nap in her cot this afternoon. Very very early days still but I can see a light at the end of the tunnel (at last!)

TeaMuncher Thu 06-Apr-17 19:44:12

Riddles that sounds good, well done! Not familiar with sleep training, but whatever works do it I say!

I've borrowed a co-sleeper crib from a friend today and tried a new routine with DS tonight (bath with DD, pjs and grobag, boobs, then into crib awake with Ewan and a dummy) and he's currently asleep!! I'm going to get my head down too in a minute but I'm revelling in glory at the moment! I just pray he stays asleep for longer than 2 hours (pleeeeeeeeease), oh and that he goes back in it!! Fingers crossed... grin

riddles26 Thu 06-Apr-17 20:54:22

Thanks Tea, I had been trying to resist any form of training until she was 6 months old but poor nights coupled with next to no napping meant I felt I had no choice other than to bring it forward. Worked a dream yesterday but she put up a bit of a fight today, got her asleep in the end. Fingers crossed persistence will give me a result that lasts for a little while.

Good work on getting him down for the evening smile I use a co-sleeper crib and have a very similar bedtime routine (just no dummy) but I still went through a phase of having her in our bed as she stayed asleep longer with me cuddling her (not the best sleep for me as I would go stiff!) Hope its a good night for you!

TeaMuncher Fri 07-Apr-17 07:56:53

So... he stayed asleep til 10 (feed & back in) then woke at 1:30 (settled w/dummy!), woke at 3:30 (feed & back in), 5:30 (feed & cuddle in bed til 7:30).

So a better night, and good from a crib point of view. Now to stretch out the sleep a bit...

Also - does anyone else get loads of pressure from family to give baby formula to 'make them sleep longer'? I'm finding it really annoying because it plants the seed of doubt in my mind, when I was quite happy EBF before. Is it the magic sleep solution everyone says it is?!??

riddles26 Fri 07-Apr-17 09:17:07

Thats definite progress from every 30mins-1hr smile

I also had a few wake ups but stayed strong and avoided feeding to sleep unless it had been 4+ hours since last feed so successful on that front (it is leaving me exhausted though, just keep telling myself it will pay off)

Can't comment on whether formula is a sleep solution but my one can do 9-10 hour stretches without feeds and I have ff friends whose babies need feeding every 3 hours so I doubt it makes a difference. I'm not getting formula pressure but getting pressure to wean instead! All my family don't know about sleep regressions so are convinced that her not sleeping is because I've not started her on solids yet. They don't seem to realise she doesn't need solids before 6 months (not an overly hungry baby, no medical reasons for early weaning) and even when I do wean, it will be a while before she is getting decent calorie intake through solids.

TeaMuncher Fri 07-Apr-17 09:32:40

Yes I get solids pressure too!

"Ooh what he needs is a bit of porridge!"
"You want some mashed banana, don't you?" (To baby)

"Oh, just give him a bottle for goodness sake"

Arggghhhhhhhhh! What I need is...

"I know it's hard, but you'll get there. He's doing really well and it's all thanks to your BM" smile I'll just tell myself! Haha.

riddles26 Fri 07-Apr-17 12:19:27

Completely agree, I've had lots of support until recently as a lot of my family did bf themselves but as weaning at 4 months was done in their day, they are all convinced that lack of solids is the reason for my current sleep struggles (and when she was a terrible napper before 4 months, it was suggested that maybe she didn't need the sleep as she slept so well at nighthmm )

Want this routine to work even more so I can prove them all wrong and that guidelines have changed for a reason.

AConvivialHost Fri 07-Apr-17 12:27:36

My DD is 4 months old, FF and we are still going through the sleep regression phase, so it definitely isn't the answer. Saying that she does go 7pm - 6am without a feed, but woke between 10-15 times last night because her dummy fell out 😕

CottonSock Fri 07-Apr-17 13:31:18

Always opinions... my dd had her own and didn't touch solids until 8 months. Argh

TeaMuncher Sat 08-Apr-17 09:05:00

Well, DS did half the night in his crib, then back in my bed 1-6:30am 🙄 and fed about 3 times in between.


TeaMuncher Mon 10-Apr-17 08:33:28

OMG my LO was up every hour last night 😩 absolutely TERRIBLE night's sleep.

And I've got to take DD (3.5) to the docs for her jabs?! Argghhhh it's already a bad day and it's not even 9am!

Random Q (TMI alert): I have to take Lactulose every day (anal fissures since giving birth sad). Does anyone else have any experience with it affecting their LOs? I wonder if he had griping that keeps him awake, or if he's just crap at sleeping 🤔

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