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Coping with tiredness/sleep deprivation

(43 Posts)
Nottalotta Tue 04-Apr-17 04:58:40

How do you do it? I am beyond exhausted. I'm awake most nights from 3am, some nights from 12/1. Ds2 has reflux and often can't be left to.lay down. During the day its not too bad as I use a carrier to keep him upright, and bouncy chair which props him up too, or carpet when going out. After a day.of being mostly upright he settles in the evening OK. Husband settles him and gives a needed (bf rest of time) while I put ds1 to.bed. Once I've cooked and eaten and had a wash, it's often 9/10 pm. I might sit for half an hour but am.often in bed 9/10 and can't get it any earlier try as I might. Unless I don't eat.

Ds1 sleeps.through mostly and husband has him if ds2 wakes @12/1 feeds, and has to be held up for at least 30 minutes, wakes again @3 and I often can't get him.back down as I tonight. He's feeding again now but when I put him down at 4am ish, he was very uncomfortable. He groans as nd grunts, writes around, coughs, chokes, is sick, gasps etc. So obviously I can't just leave him and couldn't sleep though it if I did. He's on ranitidine but I think he needs the dosage upping, seeing paediatrician Thursday.

Cant nap in the day as I have both ds to look after. Driving home last night I was incredibly tired after a particularly bad night. Sitting here now struggling to stay awake but trying to keep ds upright.

I don't know what I'm asking really.

Toobloodytired Tue 04-Apr-17 05:40:48

Know how you feel.

Led in bed with DS on my chest, begging for 9:15am to come when my mum can have him for a few hours so I can sleep!!

I've been up since 1:30am with him, he's been sleeping since then but as soon as I move him to his basket, he wakes up & kicks off.....oh, he's 8 days old.

Patsy99 Tue 04-Apr-17 05:47:08

Sympathies op, it's really hard going if you have a poor sleeper.

I found going to sleep at the same time as the kids (e.g., 7:30) once or twice a week helped. To make that work you need to eat with them, so you're not cooking & eating after they're in bed.

This stage will pass.

Nottalotta Tue 04-Apr-17 06:08:56

toobloodytired congratulations on your baby! That's great that your mum will have him. Get a sleepyhead! They're well worth the price.

Thanks patsy I think you're right. Will get something very quick for tea tonight.

Ds1 didn't asleep well but I spent a lot of days with him on a feeding cushion bf. Also Co sleeping with him helped massively.

Scrumptiouscrumpets Tue 04-Apr-17 06:17:26

Ask about omeprazole for the reflux, much more effective than ranitidine.

I can't offer any other advice unfortunately, I get used to sleep deprivation but I have rarely had to be awake from 4 am onwards. I nearly always manage to sleep between 5 and 7 am, those early hours are particularly important when you've been woken up multiple times during the night. I hope it gets better for you soon!

Nottalotta Wed 05-Apr-17 03:48:06

Here we are again. I've been awake since 1. Ds just hasn't settled since then. I've tried putting him down and after a short time he's grunting and rubbing his face etc. He didn't seem too bad just now so I left him but just laid listening to him.

Feeding again now and the cycle starts again.

Orange80 Wed 05-Apr-17 04:08:24

What about a cocoonababy? They keep them a little raised and are meant for babies with reflux. We love ours.

You have my sympathy. Sleep deprived with two to look after here too, though "only" up every two hours feeding...

HonniBee Wed 05-Apr-17 04:08:44

Sympathies for you from too, OP! I'm up with my 10mo DS who thinks sleeping is for losers.

When he was little and wanted to be held all the time I used to put him in the sling all evening, until about midnight sometimes. I would sometimes prop myself up in bed with lots of pillows and him still strapped on. That way he was kind of upright, and comforted. And I could get some rest confident that I wouldn't drop him as e was still strapped on. I'm sure that breaks all the safe sleeping rules but I felt comfortable with it and we all got some rest (if not actual sleep!)

Nottalotta Wed 05-Apr-17 04:45:31

Thank you. He's got a sleepyhead which is raised at the head but when he's bad he needs to be vertical.

I do use a carrier in the day but I can't sit down with him in it as hesxso.big.

FurryElephant Wed 05-Apr-17 04:47:08

When my DD was that age I gave in and slept with her lying on my chest propped up on pillows blushI put pillows under each arm so they were up and I couldn't roll sideways and just accepted that it was the only way of getting any sleep for a while!

Nottalotta Wed 05-Apr-17 05:57:17

That's kind of what I'm.doing furry, except I had been able to put him in his sleepyhead after half an hour whereas I've held him since 1am tonight. It's getting worse. I think his dosage needs increasing or medication changing. I'll have to get more pillows as I'm not sleeping for fear of him rolling off and because I'm having to physically hold him.up. My arms neck and back are so sore.

Nottalotta Wed 05-Apr-17 05:58:53

Husband just asked if I was alright as I'd been crying. I said no. He said is it because you're tired? Sounds lame doesn't it, crying because I'm tired.

neighbourhoodwitch Wed 05-Apr-17 06:08:51

God not lame. Poor you. Nothing worse. Hope it improves soon.

FlipperSkipper Wed 05-Apr-17 06:09:20

Not lame at all, I've cried through tiredness too!

Nottalotta Wed 05-Apr-17 06:17:16

Thank you. Hospital with him tomorrow. I think I might cry at the Dr if they are dismissive again.

Rinkydinkypink Wed 05-Apr-17 06:21:49

It's very hard! I don't know how i did it but i know it made me sick.

Be realistic about what you can do in a day. Lower your expectations. See people! Don't hide away in the house or at work.

Be kind to yourself. It really does pass. I'm just on the other side after alot of years of 3-4 hours and now 6hours is like a mini present to myself every night.

If you can grab sleep wherever you can. I learnt to let dh drive us places so i could have a sneaky nap. I learnt mindfulness to get some rest but still be awake.

Good luck OP

Ebbenmeowgi Wed 05-Apr-17 06:25:10

Really feel for you, it's not lane at all to cry about it. There's a reason sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture! I had hallucinations I was so sleep deprived in the early weeks. I know it sounds trite and a long bloody way off now while you're so tired, but it WILL pass, you will get more sleep one day! I found going to bed when dd did meant I got at least some sleep even if some nights I was awake again from 3am. Hope it improves for you v soon!

Nottalotta Wed 05-Apr-17 06:29:55

I'm struggling with early nights tbh. Once I've got ds1 to bed, husband has baby and I cook. Then we eat. By the time I'm washed and ready for bed it's 9.30-10. Was 10.30 last night as baby woke for feeding.

FurryElephant Wed 05-Apr-17 07:01:00

Crying from tiredness is not lame! Sleep deprivation is a type of torture for a reason sadI found a big V shape pillow really helpful! Hopefully the paediatrician will up his meds and make him poor comfy the poor thing sadyou know your baby, if they're being dismissive stand your ground smile

Rinkydinkypink Wed 05-Apr-17 07:35:17

You need to consider how you can get your evening meal without it all dragging on. That time is the perfect time for you to go to bed early! We used to do shifts. I'd go to bed with the eldest 7pm (yes it was at times depressing) while dh dealt with the screaming one. Our youngest had allergies, reflux etc. I'd start night shift at 11am. I'd usually get a couple more hours from 4-6am.

It's tough going!

Occadodo Wed 05-Apr-17 07:56:13

If you are breastfeeding then carry on at night ..... formula is harder for them to digest and can make things worse. Also try cutting dairy from your diet and see if things improve.
I had one child constantly hospitalised for severe reflux!

Nottalotta Wed 05-Apr-17 08:27:10

I am bf apart from the bedtime bottle which is there usually for husband to give while I put ds1 to bed, if need be. Only has 2-3 Oz. It's really to make sure that he will take a bottle as ds1 wouldn't.

Ds1 is staying at Mil tonight so will get an early dinner.

Dr's quite dismissive because he's not sick often and is gaining weight but it's silent reflux, all the discomfort, without much sick.

GuinessPunch Wed 05-Apr-17 08:31:05

I cook the dinner around 3 with the baby in a sling and eat then. It saves alot of time and then once the baby goes to sleep I can have a shower and go straight to sleep.

HonniBee Wed 05-Apr-17 08:34:32

It infuriates me when drs are so dismissive! I had exactly the same, but I persisted until I was eventually referred to paediatrician. My boy was diagnosed with cows milk allergy within 5 minutes with the consultant! I still really hope that GP who dismissed me as a first time mum feels shit.

Try cutting dairy for a few weeks and see if it helps? It was a real game changer for us.

Nottalotta Wed 05-Apr-17 08:42:58

Guinness unfortunately I struggle to get much done in the afternoons with the whirlwind that is ds1. Imight try it though.

Yes indeed honnibee the first Dr refused to prescribe anything, did refer me though. A week later I saw a different Gp who gave ranitidine. Letter saying no appointments available! However, I've managed to get a cancellation. It's difficult as ds is so good, but clearly in a lot of discomfort.

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