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Another toddler bed query

(12 Posts)
flymo79 Mon 13-Mar-17 11:33:59

i am pg. we are transitioning dd to a big girl bed. It is hell. Tonight she has done a wayward poo and gone awol around the house (my first moment of true absent child panic). Any tips?? Locking the door hasn't worked (she can unlock from inside), she climbed the stairgate in the first night, and just howls about being in her room / bed. The only reason we put her in BGBed is because she vaulted her cot. She is 2.7
The past two nights I have tried to silently march her back to bed each time but at times she has become really worked up. I'm hoping she'll get used to it eventually as routines work with her for the most part but I need to get some sleep!!! Last night was up until midnight then from 2-4am then up for the day at 6am.

FATEdestiny Mon 13-Mar-17 13:07:06

How was she at going to sleep at bedtime when in the cot?

Was she sleeping all night in the cot?

flymo79 Mon 13-Mar-17 15:18:40

Yes, fate, she went down fine by herself and slept through. I'm just up now (11pm our time) having taken her back to her bed. I sat with her and stroked her hair a bit and she calmed enough to go back. Just really don't want to be creating more new habits that I can't be keeping up in late pregnancy or with a tiny baby

FATEdestiny Mon 13-Mar-17 17:00:43

I'd put her back in a cot, she's clearly not ready for a bed yet.

Teaching her that climbing out of the cot is unacceptable dangerous behaviour will be a lot easier and more at her level than dealing with the current behaviour.

What would you do with other dangerous behaviour - say she ran across a road? Or tried to jump off the top step of a high slide at the park?

I'd deal with the cot climbing in a similar way. Be outraged. Be cross and angry. Be very firm in explaining why it's dangerous. Have zero tolerance: "it must never, ever happen again" <glare> "Do. You. Understand?" <angry glare>.

flymo79 Mon 13-Mar-17 23:18:34

Good point fate. Although if we persevere them she's in her bed for good, and we've a baby on the way. You see why I'm conflicted. As knackered as I am there's the chance of short term pain for longer term gain, or at least not just putting off the inevitable for later in the year

FATEdestiny Tue 14-Mar-17 12:04:10

If you wait until next year, or whenever she is ready, there need not be any battle.

It is not inevitable that you'll have to go through this. Your options are in fact:

- massive battle and work to establish her in a bed before she is ready


- waiting until she is ready, and just make the change. With no changes to get bedtime or sleep or anything.

I have transitioned 3 children from bed to cot. All have been 3 years or older. The move done when I felt they were ready, not when they forced the issue and made the decision for me. All have just moved into a bed without any sort of hassle.

I currently have a 2y6m old in a cot. She's a great sleeper. No way she has the emotional understanding about her need to sleep yet. She will, but she's clearly not there yet.

I know she could vault the side of her cot if she wanted to. Just because she can do this, is not a marker for her needing to be in a bed.

Do you need the cot for the baby? If so, when?

flymo79 Tue 14-Mar-17 12:59:23

No, don't need the cot for the baby. But I do need her to be safe and climbing out of her cot wasn't safe. Plus I was up all night dealing with putting her back as she was excited having done it. So I feel we'd be in the same boat with bed and cot now.
I don't mean to be fatalistic and I had hoped she'd be older, I'm sure with your three you were much more dedicated than I feel able to be with the cot climbing issue.

FATEdestiny Tue 14-Mar-17 13:06:59

OK, so you want to keep her in a bed...

OK Everything in your OP suggests you have a little girl feeling unhappy and insecure in her bedroom, on her own.

The things you tried seem to be with the aim of forcing the issue and making her accept that she must sleep in her room, regardless of the fact she howls and gets upset.

Taking the other tact may help her more - find ways to help her feel secure and not upset in her own room when going to bed.

How about sitting with her as she goes to sleep? Maybe even lying on her bed with her? You would need to do this at bedtime and any night time wake ups, for her to develop more secure-feelings at night. So how about getting a mattress for yourself (or your partner) to sleep on the floor of her room to help her go to sleep?

flymo79 Tue 14-Mar-17 16:29:09

Yes, we quickly discovered this has been working better. Sometimes for all the advice out here you just need to find out for yourself, especially with your first.
Thanks for responses.

dinobum Tue 14-Mar-17 18:59:29

Have you tried a tall bed guard?

I have a friend who also had an IKEA bed tent (??) which they said made their little one feel secure again

thethoughtfox Tue 14-Mar-17 20:40:36

My dd (3 1/2) kept coming out of her big girl bed all night for 2 weeks. She didn't know what she wanted. I posted about this a week ago because it felt like she was too old for this. We put the bars back up (cotbed) and she thanked us then and every night for weeks after for her bars and she cuddled them! Tried it again but she kept saying she didn't a big girl bed so we took off one side. She ran in and out of it all day happily but at night asked me to push it against the wall.

flymo79 Wed 15-Mar-17 01:51:59

I think I read your post thoughtfox, I've just made up her cot again. Talked it through with dh and explained that I'd lost sight of the point of why we were doing it all, especially after I ended up sleeping next to her.
I think when she's ready we will definitely try some sort of a tent, dunno, or give her tall bed guards so it is more similar to her cot...

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