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Really struggling to help my baby sleep

(17 Posts)
singingpinkmonkey Sun 12-Mar-17 15:44:25

I need some advice on helping my baby to sleep, especially during the day. I have an 8 week old and our daytime routine is all over the place and it's making my baby and me miserable.

I have no set times for naps and often cannot get my baby to sleep in time for his sleep cues which results in him being overtired and upset for pretty much all day. I just don't know what to do for the best. I can get him to sleep in the car seat/pram if I'm persistent but he screams blue murder before we get to that stage. I often have to hold him while bouncing up and down and again he will only fall asleep doing this after a few minutes of crying.
He does tend to sleep quite a bit at night but has to be rocked to sleep several times (as he wakes up as soon as we put him down) and then put in his cot. He will sleep from 7pm ish to 6:30am perhaps waking twice for a bottle.
In the daytime I can get him to have a few hours overall in either the pram/car seat but it's never consistent and it's a constant battle.
I have tried using a dummy and he just spits it out. He hates his swing chair, baby carrier and swaddling. He doesn't appear to get any comfort from me picking him up as he just screams and cries so I can't even do that to make sure he gets enough sleep.

Initially i was concerned about me rocking him to sleep on a night as didn't want to create bad habits but I am just so concerned that he isn't sleeping enough I have just carried on.

I genuinely cannot imagine me and my partner being able to put the baby in his cot drowsy but awake and him settle himself. I am mystified how I can get him to that stage! He is always overtired and miserable and I feel awful. I just want him to be happy.

TittyGolightly Sun 12-Mar-17 15:46:52

You need to follow your baby at 8 weeks. Google the fourth trimester and put any thoughts of routines away.

Onlyaplasticbagdear Sun 12-Mar-17 15:47:04

I mean this kindly - adjust your expectations. Baby is still tiny. My DS had no routine or set naps at all til he dropped nap 3 at 6.5 months. Now his routine is like clockwork.

At 8 weeks he was just napping whenever. I used to swaddle him, give him a dummy and use loud white noise.

You're doing fine - your baby is too young to self settle.

TittyGolightly Sun 12-Mar-17 15:47:25

Rockin a tiny baby to sleep is not creating bad habits. It's doing exactly what they need!

TittyGolightly Sun 12-Mar-17 15:48:36

He may also be reacting to the formula (assume that's what's in the bottles).

shirleycartersaidso Sun 12-Mar-17 15:48:57

Hard as it it's what you have to do at 8 weeks! He's still tiny.

Onlyaplasticbagdear Sun 12-Mar-17 15:49:08

Also one helpful tip is with a baby that age don't wake for sleep cues - sleep cues mean they're already overtired. All babies are different but at that age my DS couldn't handle much longer than 1hr15 without becoming overtired. Put him down/cuddle him to sleep etc before he seems tired.

NapQueen Sun 12-Mar-17 15:50:48

Did you have a birthing ball? If so, every hour to 90mins cuddle him and gently bounce up and down on the ball. It takes about 20 mins for them to fall into a deep sleep so once he has gone over keep goibg for 20 mins before moving elsewhere

cowbag1 Sun 12-Mar-17 15:53:03

I rocked/held my first baby to sleep for every daytime nap until he was 7 mo and he sleeps fabulously now so don't listen to any of that rod for your own back crap.

Is he going too long between naps? At his age, he could be showing signs of sleepiness after as little as an hour awake time so if you see yawning/eye rubbing etc try to get him off to sleep then so he doesn't become over tired.

Heirhelp Sun 12-Mar-17 15:57:10

The best baby sleep advice I got was on MN and it was that a baby that ages needs to sleep every 90 mins.

If you want a routine then look at something like EASY as it may work for your baby. Son baby wakes and Eats, then Activity if the baby is very little this could be nappy change or a song and then baby Sleeps and laughably Y is you time.

singingpinkmonkey Sun 12-Mar-17 16:20:00

Thank you for your responses. I know I need to not expect too much as he is still so small. I'm just worried that I'm not getting it right and am setting him up for problems in the future. Also, selfishly I get upset that he seems so unhappy and I can't comfort him confused

TittyGolightly Sun 12-Mar-17 16:57:36

Please google the fourth trimester. You cannot spoil a tiny baby or set him up with bad habits at this age.

FATEdestiny Sun 12-Mar-17 20:27:24

Mostly his whole life should be about feeding and sleeping this age. Expect about 40 minutes awake between 1 nap and the next - and that includes a feed and the process of getting to sleep. That might leave only 5 or 10 minutes actual awake/play time.

GuinessPunch Sun 12-Mar-17 21:07:12

I am in the exact same boat with a 9 week old.
I breastfed him to sleep at 9pm.
During the day I have to rock and bounce him to sleep or put him in the sling. He won't go in his buggy or bouncer or in his sleepyhead during the day. He gets overtired and cries.
I've been told his spoilt blah blah but I'm trying to respond to his needs and if that means wearing a sling and walking around or co sleeping or breastfeeding to sleep in will do it.

GuinessPunch Sun 12-Mar-17 21:08:08

I read on here about sleep cycles also so I try to freedman, change, play then get back to sleep. ( He won't take a dummy either).

JolyRichard Sun 24-Sep-17 18:06:00

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

crazycatlady5 Sun 24-Sep-17 20:33:46

@JolyRichard another zombie thread. Are you getting paid for these? hmm

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