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Any advice- co sleeping

(11 Posts)
Iinventedpostits Fri 10-Mar-17 22:16:09

My DD has been sleeping in the same bed as myself and partner for the past month or so ( not ideal and something I never wanted to do, but I was desperate for a good nights sleep). I really want to be able to get out of this pattern and to have her on her own cot. We have tried and she just wakes up constantly, and by constantly I mean every 5-20 minutes until she's back in with us. I have a few health problems which make me very tired and lethargic at the best of times so once it gets really late I just opt for the easy option of bringing her into our bed again and again. It's also causing me a lot of discomfort on an evening as I sleep differently to make sure she's going to be safe. Sorry for the ramble I'm currently shattered sad Does anyone have any advice on how to get her sleeping in her own cot? ( Please no judging for the co sleeping, I have had enough looks from my DM and MIL, I know it's not the best way).

Iwantawhippet Fri 10-Mar-17 22:26:01

How old is she? My DC slept with us pretty regularly until he was 5. He often slept in the spare room and one of us would sleep with him as there is a double bed in there.

Sorry no advice on how to stop but if it works why not go with it?

Iinventedpostits Fri 10-Mar-17 22:33:51

7 months. It does work so well and the fact that we get a full nights sleep is amazing but I'm worried it's going to stop any closeness between me and my partner sad I guess I need to realise I can't have everything at once! Thank you for the reply.

Jenniferb21 Fri 10-Mar-17 22:47:34


I just want to say don't worry this was me a few months ago and my Ds now sleeps in his cot the whole night. So you can make a change if you want to.

I found I was waking up with sore shoulders and woke often checking DS was ok etc so co sleeping wasn't ideal for getting good sleep but it was the only way I could settle him.

So I addressed his bedtime routine and daytime naps with the aim of getting him a better nights sleep. I knew at 7-9 months he didn't need a night feed so his waking must be due to being unsettled for another reason.

So I moved his naps forward and stopped him napping after 4pm. I ensured his daytime naps weren't On me so he got used to sleeping on his own. I moved his bedtime routine to 7:30 (used to be 8pm) we have a rule that once he's had his bath he doesn't come downstairs even if he won't settle. But after a few weeks after bath, massage, books, lullabies and a feed he'd fall to sleep v quickly. I think this has meant he isn't exhausted when he goes to bed and my HV advised an overtired baby won't have good quality sleep.

When he wakes in the night I give him his dummy rub his tummy or if he's quite upset I'll pick him up (but try to avoid that) give him a quick cuddle and will then put him back down.

I think now he has good quality naps and goes to bed with the same routine at the same time he is more settled in general. But also he has learned that if he wakes mummy will settle him and be there but won't put him in our bed. So he quickly goes back down. We had a couple of nights over a few weeks that were v hard and he could've settled in our bed but persistence pays off.

Best of luck xxxx

fairy68 Fri 10-Mar-17 22:54:04

Still do this at 6!

FatOldBag Fri 10-Mar-17 23:11:07

If it gets you a good night's sleep and it works for you, just keep doing it. Research safe co-sleeping on the internet - having any alcohol, smoking or medication is a definite no, ideally swap your quilt for a blanket, etc. If you do it safely it's safe, and if you don't have to get out of bed at night and everyone gets to sleep then good for you! I did this for about 2 years with each of mine, then they went straight into a bed.

In hospital after having my first dc, the nurse gave me a leaflet a said "we have to advise not to co-sleep now, but if you want any sleep you will, don't worry about it"! The night before they'd tucked dd in bed with me to sleep.

teaandbiscuitsforme Sat 11-Mar-17 08:10:07

If you get a good night co-sleeping, I'd carry on with it. We never intended to cosleep either but it was a lifesaver with DD and we've gone straight for it with DS. It doesn't have to be forever (if you don't want it to!), we transferred DD to a single bed at 16 months.

I also had the looks from family. Ignore and enjoy the sleep! Just make sure you've read the safe cosleeping guidance.

Iinventedpostits Sat 11-Mar-17 17:54:06

Thank you everyone. We are going to try getting her in her cot this evening and see what happens smile

StrawberryShortcake32 Sat 11-Mar-17 18:18:33

It's a weird one but it helps for me once LO is in his cot, if he gets upset I'll dangle the boob into his mouth so he knows I'm there. He doesn't normally feed (he used to and I was standing there bent over a cot for 10 mins) now he just falls back asleep. It was a slow process but it worked. I've set up a play area in his room with a play mat, lots of cusions, Peppa pig on a small TV during the day so gets him used to being in his room and sees it as a safe place and room he spends alot of time in. Now he's pretty chilled in there.

That's what I'd suggest. Make it a room he spends alot of time in and one that he feels happy and calm in.

RedLemonade Sat 11-Mar-17 19:55:12

I co-sleep most of the night with my 7mo DD but I did work on getting her to nap in her cot during the day over a period of time, and she's now pretty good at this.

So now I put her down in the cot for the first sleep of the night. Then if she's waking or a lot, and/or for any wakes after I go to bed, I bring her in with me.

We had a set-back as she was ill this week but prior to that she had been going gradually longer until that first wake, so I imagine eventually she'll sleep the night in the cot. I'm not too bothered when that might be as I do love having her little self snuggled up beside me at nightsmile

Iinventedpostits Sat 11-Mar-17 22:12:29

Really good ideas, thank you. The napping during the day is something I need to work on. She tends to nap on me, although this week I've managed to stop that as much and she's fallen asleep on her nursing pillow alone, success! Making the bedroom into a playroom sounds like a fab idea! We are only in there on an evening so I get that it must feel pretty alien to her, ill give that a try straight away smile I really appreciate all the suggestions. I just need a sleep where I actually have a pillow and a cuddle with my partner again ( as much as I adore cuddles with DD ).

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