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Child in my bed!!!

(7 Posts)
greendog78 Fri 03-Mar-17 17:19:30


I have two children - one is 3 and a half, the other is 1. The one year old sleeps well (at the moment) and doesn't wake up very often in the night.

The eldest is a different story - she was a good sleeper as a baby but went through a period of waking every night at about 18 months then seemed to settle down.

Now I would say she wakes up at least 2 or 3 times a week. This isn't usually a problem as she is fairly easily settled and will then go back to sleep fine so I am usually only up for about 10 minutes.

Lately however, she is waking up very upset - saying she heard a noise or had a bad dream or something like that and asking to come into my bed. The first time or two I let her - and to be fair she just goes straight to sleep and doesn't wake up again so it's fine.

I'm just thinking that I don't want her to start getting used to it - but negotiating with her in the middle of the night is useless because the more I try and persuade her to stay in her own room, the more distressed she gets and the louder she is I worry about her waking my youngest.

It seems like an impossible situation - if I refuse she gets upset and nobody gets any sleep, if I say ok then she is just getting her own way.

Plus in the middle of the night I can't be bothered to argue, I just want to go back to sleep!!

Any advice?

Nottalotta Fri 03-Mar-17 19:46:50

Can you get on bed with her then go back to your own bed once she's asleep?

user1488571932 Fri 03-Mar-17 20:29:10

Hi there, this is my first time posting as we've come to the end of our tether only it's with our 9 year old!! Up until the 8th January this year, we had no sleep issues with him at all then all of a sudden, out of completely nowhere, he won't slept in his own bed. He is a really lovely, kind sensitive but becomes quite insolent at bedtime and says he just wants to be with us. As both my husband and I work, we have a 5 year old son too, we all need to get some sleep. So, the agreement has been that if he wakes in the night, he can sleep on our floor (he had tried to get in our bed but that was far too uncomfortable). He brings him quilt and pillow in, lies down by my side of the bed and goes straight back off to sleep.
Our heads are mashed because of guilt - he obviously needs our reassurance and comfort but then he's in our space every night.
We have tried doing a reward system for staying in his bed as well as taking things away but nothing seems to have any real impact.
Has anyone got any advice at all or been in a similar situation and got help from somewhere????
Thanks in advance, Lx

Londonsburningahhhh Fri 03-Mar-17 20:46:23

Greendog is your little girl in school nursery now?

User is your son having any issues at school that is making him anxious?

Chopper1975 Fri 03-Mar-17 20:53:14

It's me User, just changed name!
Not recently.
We had a lovely Christmas and New Year, the night it happened, he'd had a great day playing rugby then spent the afternoon with his best friend. All fine getting ready for going back to school then he woke about 11pm and was anxious about not being able to get back to sleep. It's gone from there really.
I've not long put him to bed with (it may sound daft but...) the vest I've had on today over his teddy so he can smell me, if that makes sense??

greendog78 Fri 03-Mar-17 22:19:21


Yes she is at nursery - goes there 4 times a week and absolutely loves it! Been going since last September so I don't think it's anything to do with that.

Am really torn because part of me just thinks - so what? If she needs the reassurance and goes straight to sleep again once she gets in with me then what's the big deal? It's not like she'll be doing it forever (I hope!)

On the other hand I don't want her in there all the time!! Negotiating at 3 in the morning is soul destroying and I can't see what else I can do but give in if I want anyone to get any sleep. My DH is not too keen though because I kick him into the spare room to make space for her!!! I have said if he fancies getting up and trying to persuade her to stay in her own bed then he's more than welcome...

Originalfoogirl Sat 04-Mar-17 00:24:29

It happens, our girl did the same. Two options. Let it pass, which it will and don't fuss about it. Or, take the plunge and have the fight with her a couple of nights. That should do it!

I'm quite relaxed about it and used to just let it happen and occasionally put my foot down. But I will also say, she's 7 now and is currently in with me 😆

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