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Sleep battle 8months old

(10 Posts)
unicorn24 Wed 22-Feb-17 09:56:38

My son is so hard to get to sleep for a nap, he's so tired but will just not give in. He's never been a great sleeper both during the day and at night! When I finally get him to nap it doesn't last long at at 20-30 minutes usually. I know he should be having more sleep in the day but I do not know what to do. Even at night he can wake up and be awake for 2-3 hours

His bedtime routing is exactly the same every night

FATEdestiny Wed 22-Feb-17 13:37:27

What do you do to help him get to sleep? The fail-safes are ususlly all of the following (all or as many as possible done, not just one or two)

- full tummy
- something to suck (dummy/nipple)
- rhythmic movement
- being close (cosleeping or cuddling in arms)
- limited awake time. No longer than 90m awake between naps, if naps are less than an hour

unicorn24 Wed 22-Feb-17 14:59:44

What do you mean by fail safes? I do all of the above

FATEdestiny Wed 22-Feb-17 16:20:48

What do you do to get him to sleep in the daytime?

How much is he sleeping, how often in the daytime?

"Fail safe" is a saying. A bit like "sure thing".

unicorn24 Wed 22-Feb-17 17:07:32

I either rock him in my arms, lie next to him rubbing his back, car, pram!

He's never gotten to sleep on his own so that's something which I know isn't going to happen especially when I won't do controlled crying

He just fights it so much. On a good day When he's home with me I will try get him to have 2-2:30 hours (in different sittings)

But when he goes to nursery I tell them he needs sleep but yesterday he had 2 half hour naps. It's just not enough and I don't think they are being persistent enough with him. I know he can be really hard to get to sleep but he will go eventually confused

FATEdestiny Wed 22-Feb-17 17:22:55

You should be able to expect nursery to work hard to get him having enough sleep. Nursery staff are usually really good at this, they have a lot of experience! So maybe speak to your key worker or the nursery manager.

At home, does he have a dummy? It sounds like he is in an over tiredness cycle. When exhaustion really kicks in, it makes getting to sleep difficult for baby and it means any sleep that does happen is often fretful and light, without much deep sleeping.

Once you're in this cycle, it requires some significant focus to get out of it. Could you clear the diary for a few days and just do very little with your days?

Limit awake time. Maybe both stay in PJs all day. After he's been awake for an hour, go and lie down together. You take your phone (so you have something to do) and just lie together and keep cuddling and putting his dummy in. When he wakes, give just an hour awake time and go back to bed together.

unicorn24 Wed 22-Feb-17 19:16:42

I've worked in a nursery myself and know his keyworker personally but I'm finding that he needs a nap at nursery at around 11ish which is there Dinner time so it's made me think they don't have the time?? But I say the days he goes that is when he needs a sleep.

At home I do try get him down every 1.5-2hours without fail, and it's really stressing me out when he's at nursery that this routine isnt being followed.

I'm back at uni 3 days a week so I do my best when I am home with him but everything just goes bad when he's at nursery

He has a dummy for sleep times only

FATEdestiny Wed 22-Feb-17 20:48:52

Maybe the fact that you know his keyworker personally is stopping you complaining to them? If you didn't, then would you be more forthright with your expectations?

It diesnt matter that it's dinner time at nursery. They should be working something out for him. Either that's really focused attention to get him beforehand or immediately after, or a member of staff with him over lunchtime.

It will be different for each setting, but to just take a "tough shit" attitude that they seem to have, that's not acceptable. You are paying them, remember.

unicorn24 Wed 22-Feb-17 20:57:47

I know what you mean, although I do tell them when I go in when he needs a sleep and I also ring throughout the day to tell them. I kind of think because they know me they think I 'don't mind' but it is winding me up now

Maybe i need to talk in private

littledinaco Wed 22-Feb-17 21:08:33

Have you tried extending the naps? So, when he wakes up after 20/30 mins really persevere in getting him back to sleep. You might have to stay with him for a bit so you can step in straight away when he starts to stir-so get dummy back in and rock him / do whatever it takes to get him back to sleep.
It can help to break the overtiredness cycle and get him used to sleeping longer.

I wouldn't be happy with the nursery either.

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