Can't cope!

[Starfish25]

I've posted before over my sons sleep and its still no better. I really can not cope now. What am i doing wrong? He goes to bed for 7 and by half 12 he wakes up then every hour then he will fully wake up at half 5. By around 9am he wants a nap but he will sleep for 2 hours and another 2 hour nap at 3pm. I've tried waking him up but he will cry and moan until its time to go back to bed. I know him sleeping for 2 hours isn't helping but how can i change it? He has just turned 1.

[Tatlerer]

Hi starfish. I'm afraid you're about to be barraged with a shit tonne of conflicting advice but I'll start! Firstly, you have my sympathies. Sleep deprivation is utterly brutal.
In my opinion (background- my DD used to sleep dreadfully so I read pretty much all the books, worked with a night nanny and then sleep consultant) your son doesn't need all that daytime sleep (well he does, but that's because he's compensating for missing out at night)!
At that age, I'd aim for one nap only of two hours, after lunch (12-2, 12.30-2.30, 1-3, doesn't really matter). Give that a few days and see if the nights improve. If not, sleep training (if you'd consider it).
Apologies as I'm on my phone so I can't re-read your post. Are you feeding him on wake ups? How long do you leave him before going in to him?

[Tatlerer]

Ok just re-read. So, to try and cut that morning nap out on day one (and yes it will be horrible if he has a preceding night like the one you've just had) I'd take him somewhere super energetic to try and string him out- soft play? Play group? You might not get him to stay awake until after lunch but even if you could nudge it until 11am on day one that might help.

[Starfish25]

Thank you for replying to me. I do take him to soft play groups but low and behold he will fall asleep on the way as i have to get the bus there. I'm afraid of losing battle to be honest. What is sleep training sorry? I'm a first time mum so I'm still learning. I did start giving him a drink as it was my mums advice but the health visitor told me i need to stop it but i then have my mum saying but what if he is thirsty during the night, i can't win! Haha. I try and leave him for a little while to see if he settles back to sleep but then it can lead to full blown crying if i don't go in plus he doesn't always take his dummy off me he will push it away and carry on crying 😣

[Tatlerer]

Hello, I wouldn't worry about thirst during the night. I'm not saying it doesn't happen but it's unlikely to be the cause of his wakings.
I hear you re the outings! Energetic morning at home then? Or somewhere a short buggy trip away where he won't nod off?
Sleep training is a very thorny topic on Mumsnet but essentially it's teaching babies to sleep. There are a number of methods but the most popular are controlled crying (which I did) and gradual retreat (which friends have done- takes a little longer but less crying, although doesn't seem to suit some kids). If you google them you will find advice on how to do it x

[FATEdestiny]

I'm afraid you're about to be barraged with a shit tonne of conflicting advice...



Starfish25 - how do you get baby to sleep at bedtime and naptime?

[Coconut0il]

Co sleeping is all I know. Did it with DS1 then got a lovely cot for DS2 with the aim of him sleeping in there. First night home from the hospital he was in our bed. Not for everyone I know but if it gets you more sleep could you try that?

[Scrumptiouscrumpets]

I'd start by shortening his first nap, two hours may be too long. He will still need two naps at that age, so I wouldn't aim to drop it completely, I'd just cut it down by 15 minutes every day and see if he starts walking a little later.
Does he settle himself to sleep in the evenings?